I have not posted here before, and I am not a force's sweetheart, but I was directed here ages ago so today I thought i would post as feel a bit down.
my brother and I have not always seen eye to eye as we have grown up, in fact we right royally hated each other when I was in my teens and he was in his early 20's!
He joined the army when he was 18, and has worked hard, seen a few wars, got married, and now has a great wife and three children. We have over the years come to realise we have more in common than we did when we were younger, he lives away from our original home in London, lives in Durham, and I live in Plymouth, other family stayed close to London.
Anyway, we were still not really to close as in talk a lot, got on fine just not in each others lives really. Then our mum died last year after a shortish but horrible illness. DB spent a lot of time travelling from at the time scotland where he was based to London, and me from Plymouth to London to visit. Mum lived with sister who cared for her, DB and I, and our families stayed in the family home, and got on great. I had at the time a new born, who grew older as the months went on, he had a 3yo and a 1 yo, another on the way.
He, and I, but at first mainly he, fell out with my sister over grief related stuff, my sister was exceptionally cruel, and when I stood up for him, she turned on me. She was so out of line for a long period of time that neither DB or I talk to her right now.
DB brought his wedding forward for mum to be there, she died two weeks before, and my sister would not come to the wedding, which really upset him. But he handled my sister and the shite that occured with dignity and respect, he showed himself to be a strong character and someone who I could be friends with, and for the first time I actually felt close to him, and I think vice versa too.
The our dad died - he was estranged, and we talked a lot about that too, and that brought us closer, again.
He spent most of his first year of marriage on exercise, could not attend my wedding as he was out of the country, but made the trip down to Devon with his three young children to tell me in person - a sign we were closer.
We spent a lot of time together, and then early this year, when his new daughter was only 5 months old, he went to Afghanistan. And I was surprisingly really upset.
He is back on Friday for two weeks, and he is chosing to come down to see me in Devon, for a break with his family, but to see me and my family (we were going to go up there but he wants to come here).
Then he goes back to Afghanistan . For a few more months. Luckily his DD's 1st birthday is in the two weeks he is at home, but he won't get to spend much time with his now 5 yo old son, or his other DD, who both miss him terribly.
I just wanted to write it all down. I know there are so many people here with much much sadder situations, this is not sad, he is stoic about his job, chin up gets on with it, its what he does, but, well I only just a proper relationship with him, and he has a family - I guess I am scared for him, for his family and for me.
There, its all out.