Partner possibly being mobilised - first time for an anxious me

[DiscoHippo]

So my partner - late 50s, ex Royal Navy, current RNR - is possibly going to an LMI (large Mediterranean island…) for a six month mobilisation. We’ve been together nearly four years, and his past military career has never come up before. He was a helicopter pilot and instructor, who saw (very) active service in Afghanistan. His rationale is it’s better to get ahead of the curve with regards getting a relatively nice posting before these requests for volunteers become less, well, voluntary. I agree, but am pretty stressed about what it might mean for us.

So I’m just after any advice from someone far more experienced with regards waving them off, staying sane, and dealing with whatever emotions may crop up, from missing him to resentment

TIA

He's right about getting ahead of the curve - gives a tiny bit of control.

I've been on both sides - the one left at home and the one away and believe it or not, the one at home is the harder role.

Establish a routine for the days you aren't working. And a hobby you can do on your own - i have one with a group but that doesn't help the weekends you're on your own.

Finally be you - you are your own person so be you without him and carry on when he gets back. He has to accept that you can't switch life on and off. My DH and I know that but we see so many friends where the military (usually male) partner expects the partner to drop everything when they're home. Life doesn't and shouldn't work like that.

Thanks ever so, that’s really helpful.

i work for myself, so most days are pretty full - or can be full if I want them to be, and I also row which extends across the full week, so I wouldn’t be short of things to do.

Your point about continuing to be the person I am strikes home. I am very independent and he’s struggled a little bit with that at times, but it would be as tough on him to experience that side of me anew when he came back as it would be for me to somehow quash it.

I’m sure we’d find a way to stay connected that wouldn’t feel too jaggy, but it’ll be a helluva challenge at first, I’m sure - feels like the biggest one to date, and he has three children who I’ve had to win round!