Hiya,
I'm after some advice, or atleast an outlet to vent how I'm feeling.
My girlfriend of 1yr 6months got to deployed for the first time since we've been together 4 weeks ago, for 3 months. She was newly posted to her barracks at the time, and had therefore only met and had been socialising with the other mechanic and engineer lads she now works with. The barracks is also a logistics core, and therefore has a lot of other females.
Now she's away, she's in a room full of girls. There's 12 of them in total, all of which she's met on this deployment, but they are also based at the same barracks as her at home. Naturally she's becoming close with them, due to the amount of time they're spending together, plus that's the only thing to do and people to be with whilst she's away. I'm told one of these tried to kiss her a couple weeks ago, and also that they're generally pretty flirty when they're drunk .. of which is huge army culture.
Sparks have always flown with us since we've been together, cloud 9 style. It was all rosy up until a couple weeks ago, when I feel like things have started to shift a little. I feel like the flirty vibes and romantic click between us has started to drop off, and when we have our calls she's always around her pals, and I don't feel she's the version of her I've known/fell in love with up until this point.
I also feel like the enthusiasm when we talk about stuff relating to when she's back, such as stuff we have planned, also a big one about moving in together has also disappeared. Also the last time I made a flirty sexual reference last week, she fully shut it down.
She does talk alot about one of the girls in particular. Hopefully it's just purely fondness as friends, but that coinciding with what I've explained above, anxiety has started to kick in worrying what I'm experiencing are the first signs of my gf pulling away due to interest elsewhere. I do vividly remember during one of our phone calls, that this particular friend returned to the room and she said 'Ellie's back now, I'm going to go now and have a shower and get ready for bed'. Which left me feeling like she was no longer interested in me now her mate was back.
I love her so so much, and I miss her loads. I am struggling with boredom/depression a bit, and now anxiety. I also worry it might be me which is the issue, as most days (not every day) I'm not really vibing well or being myself .. and maybe she's getting bored of me?
My gf isn't necessarily a good communicator, and I think she would bury her head in the sand for a good while before raising any deeper concerns. We text a lot every day, but have only had a few phone calls, and one quick video call, but she was drunk and therefore it wasn't exactly of value.
Has anyone got any advice? Or just any thoughtsor opinions?
I do of course want to talk to her about it, hoping there's some reassurance she can offer. But at the same time, I don't want to explain how I feel as I don't want her to feel, for longer term reasons, that I can't handle her being away. Thanks xxx