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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

I miss home, miss parents.

3 replies

Alexadooona · 06/11/2023 01:47

I moved away from home 11 years ago. We tried to move back but our eldest who was 11 at the time got really badly bullied so chose to move back to were I didn't want to be for my daughters sake. Now my daughter will be turning 16 soon and her plan is to join military at 17. My youngest will be starting boarding school after summer next year. Husband is military so away alot, he always said he wants to do his 22 years (he currently been in 20) so that gives him 2 years left but now he is saying he wants to stay in for the full 30, with him being away alot it's will just be me left somewhere I don't want to be. I also want to move home because my youngest could come home at weekends were we live justnow it isn't viable. He is worried about job prospects for himself but he is an engineer I genuinely don't see him having any problems. Work wise for myself I'm in a job hardly making anything to just have money coming into house but if moved back home my earning potential would be so much more working less days/hours. He suggested him commuting but I don't want that for our marriage. Only downfall is we would have to downsize in our house as its more expensive were I'm from but he only wants to buy when we find the perfect house (will be impossible price wise) I honestly feel like all I do is go to work and come home. I go home knackered as I'm overworked I'm too needed at work to go part time. Feel like all I'm doing is moaning. It's nearly 2am and can't even sleep. He is away for a week and really feeling it this time as dreading oldest leaving and youngest boarding :-(

OP posts:
Alexadooona · 06/11/2023 11:59

Bumping up hoping for words of wisdom lol

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 06/11/2023 12:06

We switched to Married Unaccompanied 2 years ago and its been one of the best things we've did. He's moved twice in that time, and moving again early next year (from the south coast to Scotland!)

Yes I miss him during the week. But we actually make more time for "us" at weekends (and family time with the kids obviously).

As you know... life is a massive compromise for Forces families.

One thing to consider... if your DS is going to boarding school on CEA you will probably have to remain living on base though. We have no entitlement to it now.

PinkLemons99 · 06/11/2023 12:17

Your DH is clearly putting his choice first by saying he's staying on for the full 30yrs.

What about what you want???

No experience of Forces issues generally but I will say that you need to think of yourself in all this. You don't want to wake up in your sixties feeling full of regrets! You only live once so make the most of your opportunities.

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