having a rough day

[kerryk]

Just found out yesterday that dh's best friend was involved in a incident with a road side bomb last week. He has been flown back to a hospital in this country but he is badly hurt. This happened on friday and i had to phone dh last night and tell him.

Dh is feeling really guilty, he is supposed to be on tour with this friend but was kept back to help with training the other men out before they get sent over.

They are part of the same section so my dh would have most likly been in the same vehicle as his frind, really cant get my head around it.

I've got no words of advice but send my sympathies. It's tough, isn't it? Didn't want this to go with no replies. Do you know how serious his friend injuries are?

Oh Kerry that's awful! Have you heard any more?

It really brings it home how serious it is for them out there, doesn't it? You can't describe that feeling at all. I spent the whole time that DH was in Afghanistan jumping every time the doorbell rang and watching the news like a hawk.
My prayers are with you, your family and your husband's best friend and his family x

I know the feeling we had a bad year last year, i sent a note to the family (wife) and also to the hospital of our friend.

I do my own head in with what ifs and also like scootergirl have the whole worrying when the doorbell goes unexpected etc, its never easy in our role as wife and of course with friends of ours out there doing a grand and dangerous job x

i think pysically he will be fine once the wounds heal, he will be scarred for life though.

mentally i am not so sure, he was trapped for a few minutes in a burning vehicle before they managed to pull him free, how on earth would you ever be able to recover from this.

my dh is usually in charge of this section and i cant help thinking what would happen if he was there, would he have been able to prevent this happening or might he have done something diffrently which would have made the situation a whole lot worse.

i know i should not be thinking like this but it has really shaken me up, i dont know if anyone remember the helicopter crash in basra a few years ago when all the crew were killed, my dh was getting flown out of basra around this time and i knew that even if he was not on the chopper in question that he would be involved in the riots on the ground. even though that was the worst day of my life my brain seememed to cope with that better than this iykwim.

god i really am just rambling on now, i am not making any sense, i am not one of those wifes who panic about things (usually) i know my dh has a job to do and support whatever that job is i am just having a shit day.

please excuse all the typos but i am so bloody tired.

keerk my thoughts are with your friends family and you and dh. please try not to dwell on the what ifs..

I to dread the door going but mainly on a night when i cant see who it is coming to the dorr.. i make a point of not watching the news at all whilst he is away.

Take care hunxx

Kerry, so sorry you're fretting and having a crap day, sometimes it's worse being so far away and feeling so helpless.

It never use to cease to amaze me as an army nurse just how much the boys - and girls coped with and managed to get over some horrendous injuries/experiences. Good ongoing support from family and friends is the best medicine and the tri service mental health team are trained to help people come to terms with traumatic events - look at Simon Weston I always think he's such an inspiration to us all.

Your DH will get his head round it. When my DH was in Iraq his best mate was in recruit training and hated being left in the UK! He phoned all the time for updates and was desperate to be out there with them. There's probably absolutely nothing that would've happened differently - road side bombs are so random it's wrong time wrong place stuff.

Anyway thoughts are with you and all the forces families who quietly go about their every day business while their loved ones are in hellish situations most days.

Rant all you like - we understand!!

Thinking of you KerryK, it must be so worrying for you.

I think we all wonder about the "what if's". My DH is Navy so not quite in the same situation as ground troops but I still worry when I hear what goes on when he's away.

Hope your DH's friend is back on his feet soon.

thank you everyone, had my first good nights sleep since thursday last night so feeling better, so much going on just now and for the first time ever its all getting on top of me.

i had to phone the hospital to pass on my dh's new number to his friend (he is on posting just now) and they let me talk to him, he is doing well and hopes to be out soon

only time will tell how badly he has been effected.