Struggling with post-deployment feelings

[CaronW92]

Hi everyone, my fiance has just got back from a 4 month deployment - the longest deployment he's had since we've been together. I missed him so much while he was away, and was so excited for him to return. But now that he's home I am really struggling. I don't feel like either of us have "changed" individually while he's been away, but I suddenly feel no closeness to him, and just find myself getting annoyed at the things that used to endear him to me :( Is this a normal thing that people have gone through post-deployment, and a case of just needing to give it time?

I feel so confused because I can remember how much I loved him before he left, and nothing's actually changed since then, so why a I still not feeling those same feelings.

Thanks in advance for your help/advice xx

Definitely give it time. Deployment is tough on all parties and it does take time to settle back into normal life. Try not to get upset about the petty stuff but it's also ok to say I've changed how we do things and now can you...

Encourage him to talk about how hard coming home is too. There's a big expectation and excitement about returning from deployment and once the initial excitement is over, sometimes it's hard that it's just back to the boring routine of normal life.

DH was away for 10 months last year. It's the worst part of this life!

It's always the same when my husband comes back, he always does 4 months. I get on his nerves and he gets on mine because we've just kinda done our own thing for months. It's also difficult, for us, to feel connected when we haven't touched or kissed or been on a date for months also. It does settle back into how it was before but it takes a week or two for us everytime.