Moving the DC's. How do they cope?

[Belgianchocolates]

I thought I'd post this here. My dp (and soon to be dh) is in the merchant navy. We've got 2 children and I have always lived in the midlands as that's nice and central and no matter where he is based he's no more than a 2-3 hour drive away when he comes back from sea. HOWEVER for the last 18 months he's got a job where he's on land every day and he works 9 days away and 6 off (home). He's getting fed up with this almost weekly commuting and want us to go and move down to Kent where he now works. This job is supposed to be long term, but depending on what happens he might leave in 18 months. So my worry and question is how is it for children to move regularly, because if we move now and then in 18 months he decides to get a job somewhere else and we've got to move again I'm really concerned about the children. Not really their schooling, because I'm pretty sure that they will learn to read, write etc... whatever. What I want to know is how they cope emotionally. What is it like for them to go to a new school where all the little groups of friends have already formed many years before. The DC's are 4 & 6 at the moment and its the 6 yo I worry about most as he's never coped with change all that well.

Hi Belgianchocolates. It is unsettling isn't it. I am sort of just having this crisis on another thread. With my sensible head on I think that children are actually far more resiliant than we give them credit for, but with my emotional head on I feel crap moving dd1 away from her school and friends (she is nearly 5).
I moved when I was 14 and I was VERY VERY against the idea. It turned out to be the best thing that happened to me.
Actually children at this age are very much better at accepting new friends too, rather than in their teens.
I am sure someone with real experience will be along

Thank you vanilla. The same struggle is going on in my head, but it would be nice to hear from more people with their experiences.

You need Shoshe. She is a RAF child and married into the forces and so has moved loads but also is a child minder so knows children very well. She will have the experience you need.
Calling SHOSHE!!!

hi belgianchocolates, i am having a similar battle, my ds is 5 and is in primary 1 we have just found out we are being posted down to halton, i am worried about how he is going to take the news as he has made a lot of great little friends and has settled really well at his school, of course there is nothing i can do about the moving thing as it is going to happen, we have moved 5 times in the last 8 years i normally enjoy moving, sad i know, but this time i am really worried any help or advice on how to handle this would be great, i hope it turns out ok for you belgianchocolates.

Hi belgianchocolates,
I'm an army wife and was still in the army myself when I had my DD8. We were in North Yorkshire but decided to buy a house and settle myself and DD when she was 4yrs back home in Glasgow. DH went to Germany, then Dorset and is now doing his last couple of years in Oxfordshire. I think each family is individual and you will know what's best for all of you. I think DD would've coped with moving and settled cos kids are resilient but to be honest there was so much more to consider other than just schooling, family, her hobbies (dancing!) and my career e.g. My DD would've been to 4 schools in 4 yrs and I wasn't too keen on that. It's really hard being apart and we thought about it long and hard but my DD seems to accept that this is our life and has really settled now. I don't think moving is as much of an issue when they're younger cos kids are much friendlier than us and always seem to make new best friends within 10 minutes. To be honest it was the practical issues that tipped the scales for us. On reflection I think we made the right choice for my DD but it has been hard at times. If you do decide to move - the kids in my hubbys regiment all seem quite confident individuals who can read and write as good as the rest of us!
Anyway hope this offers some support - I think you know your kids and you and your DH will know what's best for your family

my dcs are 4, 2 and 10 months and the two oldest are on their 3rd house. At this age they cope well and settle quickly although as they get older it will get harder, but as fatr as they are concerned, wherever mummy and daddy are is home. They take it in their stride as I have always been open about moving and talk to them a lot about when, how and why so they always know what coming, and we do owrk very hard at keeping contact with friends from old postings so that friendships are maintained. I know there are lots of disadvantages to it, but there are also advantages - mine are not remotely phased by new situations and are very confident, I am sure as we have moved around among so many different people. But I like moving as well, so I guess that rubs off.