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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

DH joining the navy

1 reply

PixieAndProsecco · 21/07/2022 10:21

As the title suggests my DH is in the process of submitting an application to join the navy.
He's has a phone call with a PO who also deals with recruitment and they have said that his full joining process should take a few months max - he is interested in the submarines and they are crying out for them.
The PO also put him in touch with a submariner who talked through the training, commitment, work etc too.

Now, this isn't some quarter life crisis or anything. My DH previously joined the navy and completed all of stage one basic training and some of stage two before dropping out as his mum was very sick (they didn't know if she'd make it) and he was a young boy (joined just after his 16th birthday). This is his biggest regret in life and, at 30, he sees this as his "if I don't do it now I never will," moment.

I appreciate that this is his dream and I won't stand in the way of him chasing it.

Thankfully we only live an hour away from Faslane and so my life here will go on as normal for the most part. I'll have my family, the kids (12 and 5) will have a settled school life and friends, I can maintain my job etc and DH has been told he'd be able to commute home when shoreside which is good.

The training will be a nightmare though as it will be the longest period of time he'll be away, although he will be contactable unlike when deployed.

I'm wondering if anyone who has been in similar situations - either staying at home whilst they train, submariner spouses, husbands joining later in life - can pass on any words of advice?
Is there support for families from the forces? I've looked online and found the RN Forum, the Facebook groups for the families stationed at the base etc and there does seem to be support there but that is vastly different from the support actually being provides.

OP posts:
mafsfan · 13/10/2022 20:14

Navy wife

I'd say that unless you're living on a base, support for you will be absolutely minimal. I've been married to DH for 10 years+ and I've never had any support, not even when DH was deployed and one was for 10 months! I have reached out to the family support thing a couple of times but they're pretty useless. Unless you're on a base you've got nobody else to contact.

Deployment is hard, very hard. And that's with daily FaceTime calls and emails through the day. Only you can know whether you could cope not hearing from your DH for months at a time. I couldn't and I don't know how my kids would cope, but they are younger.

Good luck!

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