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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

clucking bell - dh just gone back to iraq and ds2 in complete meltdown

44 replies

BitTiredNow · 17/10/2007 22:05

dh managed to get home for 3 days from Iraq (2 months into a 6 monther) - ds1 (4) and dd1 (6 months) took it in their strides, but ds2, the normally placid easygoing one, is in complete meltdown. sobbing and screaming and saying he is sad (doesn't have mnay words yet). Just had to put him back to bed literally 32 times - he's waking everyone up.... cluck cluck cluck......

OP posts:
Original poster
BitTiredNow · 17/10/2007 22:09

34 times - pants......

OP posts:
colditz · 17/10/2007 22:13

Oh you poor thing

YOu can swear you know, you can! You deserve to, if you want to.

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 17/10/2007 22:26

thanks colditz - bit scared if I start I will get deleted....... I've never wished I could bear any of my children's pain as much as i do right now.

OP posts:
pooka · 17/10/2007 22:30

Oh poor you and poor ds2
Must be so difficult for him to understand. Your dd 1 is too young to be badly effected and your ds1 is of a more "somprehending" age. Hope that tomorrow is better. Give him lots of cuddles and sympathy.

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 17/10/2007 22:32

thanks Pooka - it just helps to vent about it - thanks for listening.

OP posts:
TheEvilDediderata · 17/10/2007 22:42

How old is ds2?

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 18/10/2007 21:54

You found me! He is 2 and 4 months. DS1 is now doing the same thing, a night later, but I suspect it is because he justs wants my attention, which is easier to deal with.

OP posts:
TheEvilDediderata · 19/10/2007 17:03

How are things going today?

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 19/10/2007 21:24

Hi Ded - thanks so much for checking. Today the children are OK, but I am a bit tired and emotional.... ds1 has been pushing my buttons all day and dd is cutting her first tooth, poor little love... she hates it and wants us all to know!

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 20/10/2007 15:11

Want me to send you some high-level teething drugs from the Amercian PX down here at JHQ? They don't DO pain!!
PS: Do you know about all the trips Homestart are doing this week? Apparently it's parenting week or some such guff...

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 20/10/2007 19:06

Yespurleeeze!!!! I am at D Thorne, c/o G4, HQ 1 Div, BFPO 15. Please send me the bill too! I am planning to come up to JHQ before Christmas to stay with a mate - fancy a coffee?

Slight side whinge - new neighbour came around today, mother of one, I am v jealous bcoz she always looks so immaculate, compared to my 4 layers of babysick..... complaininig that she has only had 2 hours to herself today.....

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Original poster
BitTiredNow · 20/10/2007 19:08

Yes thanks too SG, I have had a leaflet from our homestart, will try and do a couple of them - don't know about you, but it takes a few brave pills to go out for the day with all of my ankle biters. . I feel the the old woman who lives in a shoe today - I didn't quite whip them all soundly, but they got sent to bed early without any TV after tea (cue tears)

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 21/10/2007 09:36

Don't worry about the bill - you can buy me a cake with my coffee when you come down. Our new bar might be open by then so we could even have a glass of wine or six
Just to make you feel better about your neighbour, I had precisely 12 seconds to myselg so far today (wee with door closed )

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 21/10/2007 19:04

cake and alcohol sounds fab! I wish I could find the key to our toilet door - ds2 keeps coming in and asking to wipe my bottom > She came by again today, complaining she has to get up at 4 am tomorrow to catch a flight back to the UK. Felt like saying 'Shall I give you a knock? I'm just about putting the third one back to bed then', but then I realised that exhaustion is making me childish, so resolved to try to get to bed earlier tonight

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 21/10/2007 19:41

Yes, I'm on my way to bed now. DH is off on excercise so I can go to bed before 9pm without someone giving me hopeful puppy eyes and saying "oo, an early night, shall I come too?" and then being all sulkly when I make it clear the early night is for sleep purposes only.
Perhaps your mad neighbour is trying her best to make friends.... or perhaps she's just nuts.
And going back to your OP, when DH went to Afghanistan last year, DD (then almost 3) started the getting out of bed thing. It became quite comical after the 43rd time in one night.... She got over it quickly though!
Whereabouts on JHQ is your mate? You can send it cryptically if you like and I'll try and guess. It would be hilarious if I know her!

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 21/10/2007 21:41

Maybe she is - lack of sleep is making me nasty too!!! (look at the time!!) I have just made a date with her for 11-14 Nov, 8 Bangor Walk? I know it is a huge place... lol at the puppy eyes - 'tis the only good thing about dh being away is that bed is for BED!!!!!!

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 22/10/2007 07:31

My bestest mate used to live on Bangor Walk! What does your friend's name begin with? Oo, it's like Scooby Do round here...

BellaLasagne · 22/10/2007 07:48

Hi BTN,

As an ancient ex-Army wife (DH left last year after 21 years) I just wanted to say hang on in there with your DCs. It is horrible when they get upset when DHs go away again, but it will settle down. It also gets a little easier when they get older.

I really do mean a little easier, not a lot easier. My DCs were 7 and 3 last time DH went away for a 6 monther and although they understood a bit more about what Daddy was doing and why he was going away, they were still upset. Our 3 yr old DD used to be very unsettled for a couple of weeks after leave, and I found that a good solid routine was th only way to settle her down. The up-side at this age was that they had more of a concept of time which was very useful when you enter the final few days of a deployment and can start using a chuffed-chart, providing of course you know when they're due home!!

You have my sympathy, but keep on the wine, coffee and cake! Look after yourself, spoil yourself, and hopefully things will get a little easier for you.

Take care, BL xx

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 22/10/2007 19:40

Thanks for your post, Bella. I appreciate it. Scoots, She is called Sheona, is Scottish and has 3 dcs - any bells?

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 22/10/2007 19:43

Tee hee - my daughter is in her son's class (C....) and my son goes to nursery with M....
Small world! Now how are we going to get around that? Maybe we'll have a secret code word...
We were up at her's for tea last week and have bought several of her cards. Spooky or what?

Original poster
BitTiredNow · 22/10/2007 22:04

Just call her big boobs - she's very used to it!!! My DSs are the same ages as her DS and DD2. If you mention her friend from Herford coming to stay I am sure she will tell you when she will let me out for coffee!!!

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 23/10/2007 07:24

Perhaps an enormous playdate then we really will deserve the wine afterwards! I can't beleive you know Sheona

BellaLasagne · 23/10/2007 10:23

Ummm, ladies, has it not occured to you that she may be a MNetter? I'd keep it anonymous if I were you.

littleNonSpecificHolidaylapin · 23/10/2007 10:29

BTN, probably not too safe to have your address on here, espec. with what DH does for a living... better to email people. I'd ask MNHQ to delete that if I were you.

Hope you're OK today x

BellaLasagne · 23/10/2007 10:35

I did raise this issue with MNHQ before this topic was started but they seem to have decided to go ahead. I think everyone on here needs to be very, very careful about what they say. It is a public forum on the World Wide Web FGS.