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Forces sweethearts

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Original poster

Should I ask DD's friends for a playdate?

16 replies

sunnylabsmum · 09/10/2007 06:29

Hi there I'm hoping that someone will help me with a dilemma I'M facing. We have recently moved overseas and this is my 4.5 yr old daughters first move as we previously lived in our own home. She has just started school and apart from an invite to a party has had no contact out of school with any other children. We've been here 3 weeks. I've tried smiling at people in the playground but get no response.Incidentally no one has called to introduce themselves and although we have spoken to the neighbours it seems that they can't be bothered. I don't care who people are and will talk to anyone but it does seem weird and is upsetting me as moving overseas was a big step for us and we have had no contact from hb workplace either- loads of yes I must get my wife to call or we're so busy. I went to the Hive but got nowhere there..everyone seemed wrapped up in their computers.

I will probably cope but I'm really worried that DD is getting lonely as she is an only child and spends all the time out of school with me and the dog. With half term just 2 weeks away I'm really afraid that she will see noone except us the whole week.There doesn't appear to be anything planned to do.

In our last village we met up with other mums and children for playdates or trips to the swings. We have visted the swings here lots of times but have never encountered any other children. Should I write notes to other children's mums in the class inviting them over or would this appear pushy? I don't want to affect DD's introduction to school by appearing a pushy mum but equally I dont want her to be lonely and get withdrawn. It seems that they all went to preschool together and as we didn't we seem out on a limb.

Any tips please!!!

OP posts:
laura032004 · 09/10/2007 06:45

Whereabouts are you? It must have been horrible to make such a move, then feel so isolated. Have you investigated the youthclub - they usually do sessions for anybody of school age. IME some are better than others though. I would definitely ask your DD's teachers if she seems particularly friendly with anybody else, and then ask them round for a play. Are there any other activities going on - horse riding & rainbows springs to mind - where she might encounter other 'friends' from school.

Budababe · 09/10/2007 06:50

I think it is still early days in some ways but don't think it would be a problem if you invited some girls over on playdates. Would do seperately rather than together though. Has your DD mentioned that she likes anyone in particular?

We are overseas too but not forces so am not sure how school etc works for you. Is it an international school? My DS is in an international school (in Yr 2 but has been in school since nursery) and we are all very aware of new people arriving.

One family arrived last Jan at a busy time and I was also caught up in the fact that a good friend of mine was leaving and when the new Mum approached me at school to ask to arrange a playdate for her DS with mine as hers was struggling a bit I felt awful that I hadn't approached her first. We did the playdate and it went well and her DS is now fine (more than in fact and I now can't bear to have him over!!!).

TwigorTreat · 09/10/2007 08:00

3 weeks is very early to be disappointed at no contact ...

BUT

I don't see anythign wrong in inviting some small girls round .. that will certainly start the ball rolling ..try talking to the teacher and see who she might fit with best and then ask which is the right parent

also try to find an intensive course for the holiday .. like swimming or gymnastics or somethign .. it will give you something to get out of the house for

HTH

dolally · 09/10/2007 08:43

early days, yet sunny, I would say.

Agree with others, find out (from dd - I would) who she would like to invite over and write a note to that mum/dad.

The ball will start rolling from there I'm sure.

Original poster
sunnylabsmum · 09/10/2007 11:47

Thanks so much for your help. Today she said she sat near a girl at computers and gave me a name so I'm going to see if that name reoccurs. She mentions another girl with the same name as her but I think that its more to do with the fact that she has the same name than if they are friendly to her. I think I'll gather evidence until the weekend and then see if there is any pattern of common names. When I ask DD if she wants anyone to come and play she says she doesn;t know anyone..that one nearly made me cry!!

The teacher said that she stands alot on her own as if she is sussing them out so I don't really want to force things. I guess I just don't want to do the wrong thing as we are here in Cyprus for 2 years. I will look into things to do at half term. Hb asked in his office about the lack of contact/friendly faces and everyone said oh its like that sometimes!!

OP posts:
laura032004 · 09/10/2007 11:59

Whereabouts in Cyprus are you (feel free to not say if you don't want to ). I lived in Akrotiri when I was at sixth form, met my DH at school in Episkopi, and my parents currently live at Ay Nik so I've got most bases covered (unless you're at Dhekelia!) If you're at Ay Nik by any chance, I could ask my mum to point you in the direction of a few clubs if you like? She works in the HIVE area...

Scootergrrrl · 09/10/2007 12:08

You want McDreamy. Isn't she is Cyprus?
And definitely go for the playdate but maybe one at a time - the last thing you want is for all the girls who know each other play together and leave your DD sitting there!
Good luck!

McDreamy · 15/10/2007 17:12

Hi Sunny where are you? I'm in Akrotiri and my DD is 4.5 too! Are you at Aki? Maybe we could meet up? Or Epi?

benandalex · 15/10/2007 17:33

im in dhekilia i have a 4.5 year old monster of a boy i find the school here ,most of the kids get the bus too school so there are only a few mums actually take there kids to school most of them are in my street lol

McDreamy · 15/10/2007 17:51

Hey we could have a mumsnet meet up of our own

benandalex · 15/10/2007 18:25

Yes pref on a beach sipping cocktails had a night out in napa on friday night with dh with no kids and a night in hotel was fab almost fell asleep when dh was getting a tattoo done though haha !!

Original poster
sunnylabsmum · 16/10/2007 11:12

Things seem to be a bit better for DD in Epi- We do have a rat problem though and its going to take a week for them to investigate because of asbestos in the roof...makes me wish I was in cold UK!!

OP posts:
Original poster
sunnylabsmum · 16/10/2007 11:12

Things seem to be a bit better for DD in Epi- We do have a rat problem though and its going to take a week for them to investigate because of asbestos in the roof...makes me wish I was in cold UK!!

OP posts:
McDreamy · 16/10/2007 13:43

That's rubbish Do you fancy a coffee at the Cessac cafe? I could come over to Epi quite easily....would quite fancy a quick look around the new Ermes store

benandalex · 16/10/2007 15:12

mcdreamy have u not got ermes in aki yet ? dont be disappointed when they did ours its exactly he same as the naafi mabye a few bits that they didnrt have before like a huge pick and mix right by the front door which is a nightmare with the kids

McDreamy · 16/10/2007 19:29

It's opening on Thursday!

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