Preparing for homecoming

[misskz88]

My OH (2 years together) has been deployed now for 3 months. We have 7.5 weeks left. It’s the first time he’s deployed since we’ve been together and my emotions are all over the place thinking about him coming home. Is this normal?

I swing from pining to see him, to being well adjusted to my independence, to feeling worried about ‘what if things have changed / aren’t the same’, to almost feeling resentful that he’s deployed and will just get to walk back in (I know this one is ridiculous, so I acknowledge it, but don’t entertain it). I also have feelings of ‘I don’t think I can do this again’, to ‘It’s part of my life, I’ve done it once and I will cope again in order to be with him’.

His base location is three hours away from our home. So I’m not surrounded by other forces partners, I am quite ‘isolated’ from that environment naturally. However we grew up where I live, so I have some of his friends /family nearby, but I guess I also don’t feel massively part of the forces community if that makes sense, as my friends support but don’t truly understand the lifestyle. I guess that has some impact on my current mindset?

I love him, I want to be with him. So
Why am I so mixed up emotionally about his return!? I almost feel guilty for it. How do you prepare for them reentering your life?

It’s totally normal to feel like this! My DH goes away a lot for 3/4 months at a time. You get used to getting into your own Routine. Obviously you miss them but life goes on while they are away. We don’t live on camp and so aren’t part of that sort of community. Like you said people sort of try to sympathise but don’t really get it.

You will be able to do it again because you have done it this time and you will adapt. When they first come back it’s all lovely because you have missed them but I’m not going to lie that first week of podle will drive you nuts! Plan to do stuff or have a little jobs list for him to crack on with otherwise it can get a bit intense!