Why does it get harder?!

[MyBreadIsEggy]

Just feeling sorry for myself really.
DH is deployed. I'm at home with our 22mo and 4mo. We are on the home stretch now - less than 2 weeks until he is due home....so why does everything suddenly feel harder?!
I've managed the whole time without much of a wobble, but now the end is near, I feel like I'm falling apart! I miss him more, my patience with my toddler is wearing thin etc.
We've been through numerous deployments before, but this is the first since we've had kids, and it SUCKS!

It's feeling harder because a change is coming.

It doesn't matter that it's a welcome change. There are all sorts of things he's missed, you're not in the swing of doing things together, he won't automatically know your DC's latest little foibles. It's not always plain sailing. Especially as it is all too easy for the returnee just to go back to doing things the way he did before the deployment without even pausing to think that things have changed in his absence.

I keep joking with my mum that before he left, I was freaking out about establishing a routine with both kids on my own, and now it's like a well oiled machine....Daddy will come home and throw me off!

I really don't have much to say other than to commend you for how well you've done. I find it hard enough just looking after me, I can't imagine doing it with two young children! I think it's because like you've said, you've found your routine. Now it about to be disrupted! In a good way