Anyone had a DH deployed during pregnancy?

[FTRsGotAShinyNewNN]

I'm currently 18wks pregnant with DC2 (DS is 5.8) DH is deploying tomorrow and won't be back until I'm 36wks. I'm now all of a sudden, despite being a competent self sufficient woman, having a massive wobble about him not being here while I'm pregnant.
Just wondered if anyone had any advice or words of wisdom so that I can calm the fuck down!

god that sounds awful! I had a lot of support when i was pg from other pg friends, some i met at hosp appointments! Are there any childbirth classes in your area?

Yes, he left when I was about 22 weeks and arrived home when baby was a week old.

At the time there was only 1 scan in our area at about 18weeks so he came to that. I worked 4 days a week so I just got on with that and my parents visited every few weeks and friends and when I went on mat leave I went to stay with my parents for a few days at a time.

In my last 3 weeks or so friends would ring or come and stay for a couple or nights just in case! My mum arrived as planned when I was 39 weeks and stayed until the baby was born at 40+5.

It was my first so I had no idea about anything and just got on with it really. We did live in a quarter though so any maintenance or house issues were sorted by them (eventually).

You'll be fine, people tend to be very kind when they realise you're on your own.

Yes! He left between 11.5 and 19 weeks, and then from 27 week to 38 weeks, at which point there was a great big volcanic ash cloud over Europe. He made it home at 38 weeks and 5 days, and my son was born exactly two weeks later. I feel for you. I found it so traumatic I absolutely cannot have another baby. Everything was good and ok till that volcano in Iceland erupted. Until then, I worked five days a week and spent time with my family, who do live about 300 miles away... They stayed here (retired parents). I joined an ante-natal yoga class and met beautiful, supportive women. I did have an 'easy' pregnancy though, no awful side effects or grief. You might find you find being on your own nicer than you expect, and like CannulaNellie says, people are so kind when they know you're on your own. All the best xxx

Yes. Amazing I got pg with DS1....he was away for the entire pregnancy (I saw him twice in the US) and got back with a couple of weeks to spare. Worse was when I was pg with DS2 and he was sent with less than 48 hours notice to a submarine...no end date! He was away about 5 months. That was tough. We did get to see him in Dubai. I tried to keep busy. Not easy though. Use your support networks. X

I'm 37 weeks now and just got DH home from a 2 month deployment! I found it a lot harder than previous deployments so I know how you feel I was so emotional the whole time and we are based overseas so I had no family around either. Try to stay as busy as possible and look forward to him coming home! I know it's so easy to say but its so hard to do. I found that DH also found it a lot harder this time knowing he wasn't here to help me so I felt I had to be stronger than usual so he wasnt worrying about me on top of everything else!

I found out I was pg a week before dh was deployed, I also had a 3yo, a 2yo and a 6 month old. I'm not going to lie, it was really hard. Hormones made everything worse, he missed both scans and feeling the first kicks, etc. It was just as hard for him. You'll be extra emotional, but you can do it! Even on the days that you think that you can't, you are strong.

My dh now regularly goes away for weeks at a time, kids are 5,4,2 and 11 months and I still have a wobble every now and then.

Yes. With my first, DH was on a three month exercise to Oman so missed a big chunk of my pregnancy. He left when I had no bump and came back to me with a big bump.

It was awful that he wasn't there in those important months but I can imagine how much harder for you it will be if he is away right up to almost the end of your pregnancy .

I helped the situation by inviting family and friends to stay at weekends but staggered them so I had regular stuff to do rather than all squished into a few weeks. That helped and I was working too so that took my mind off it.

The key is keeping busy and sending your DH regular updates of the pregnancy and chatting to him if you can about how you are feeling.

It made me stronger.....lots of issues arose at work and home.....like the time when his stupid sports car alarm went off for an entire day and nobody could get find where to disable it or the time when I thought I had someone in the house at night and actually got armed soldiers to search my house.....only to find the next day that a cat had let itself through the cat flap and hidden in my new pram all night !

Don't forget as well that you have your first child to keep you occupied and all the school stuff etc.

Hope it goes quickly for you.

Oops, just realised how old this thread is!