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Forces sweethearts

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Jealousy??

2 replies

Buster51 · 10/03/2014 21:44

Good evening all,

Our DH & I adopted a 4yo little boy 5 months ago. DH is in the forces, & as a result only returns home weekends/every other weekend.

We have noticed several patterns of behavior emerging when DH returns, & because DS is still in the very early days of his adoption we are not sure if the behaviours are related to that - or could be "usual" behavior of a child who's parents are in the forces.

I thought I would therefore share this with you all, & hopefully some of you may know if this sounds typical perhaps?

When DH returns DS loves this, he loves to play/fight/tickle, basically all of the usual rough & tumble sort of things.

But he also seems to do quite a few things to almost get a reaction out of me, such as talking in a very "baby - ish" voice DH, & looking over at me while he gives him cuddles etc.

He often points out when they're doing things, I.e I'm giving daddy a cuddle mummy, or look I'm sitting on daddy. As well as whispering asking me to move for example.

I sense he is feeling anxious, but we can't work out if it is due to the adoption, I.e worried he may get pushed out perhaps, or not liking that I have to "split" my attention. Or it could be he blames me for DH coming back & then going, he may feel a loss??

Or just usual 4 year old behaviour if he feels he isn't getting enough attention??

I do ensure I spend time with him 121 when DH returns, as well as DH / DS alone time, it's clear when it's the 3 of us spending time together.

If anyone has any advice on this it would be fantastic, it really worries me each time DH returns how it may affect DS which is not great.

Thank you

OP posts:
Loulabelle2004 · 05/05/2014 22:32

He sounds very cute! X my boys will often play up for attention when my hubby has been away, we get set into a routine when he is gone and it when he comes home it throws everything up in the air.

It's quite a varied routine your son has to learn so give him chance to feel settled, all children are different. And like you said you are making sure he has plenty of love and attention from you both, it doesn't sound like you need to be worried, just give him and you time to adjust to everything xx

PoppyAmex · 30/07/2014 07:55

OP I don't have any relevant experience, but if you post in the Adoption topic you'll get loads of excellent advice.

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