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Forces sweethearts


10 replies

firstpost · 26/06/2013 11:52

Just a quick one from me

If you have been woefully let down by your Unit Welfare, what other avenues are there to try?

Would it be AFF? or is there another way to access support?


OP posts:
AuntieStella · 26/06/2013 11:54

What sort of support?

SSAFA is worth a try for just about anything, and the Padre can be surprisingly useful if you've got a good one.

firstpost · 26/06/2013 18:53

Thanks AuntieStella

Looking for some interventions really I suppose, rather than support.

DH Dad terminally ill, DH on tour until November. They need at least another week together as otherwise they may never see each other again. The army are suggesting using R & R - this is not possible as he will miss the birth of our son and that is not good for me for mental health reasons.

I need someone to step in and make some compassionate leave happen for DH to go and see his Dad. We live in different countries so combining both for R & R is impossible.

I will try SSAFA, and failing that the Padre both here and on tour.

Thanks again

OP posts:
jcscot · 27/06/2013 14:37

Have you tried the compassionate leave number you get on the little card? IIRC, compassionate leave from tour is only granted when it's clear that the relative has only days left - while they might not grant it now, they may grant it later in the tour.

If it's the case that your husband's father will not last until he comes home, I can understand their argument that he can see him while he's on R&R (even although that would be very difficult for you as you have a baby due).

I second the other posters who've suggested AFF or SSAFA.

The sad reality is (playing devil's advocate here) that while there is a usually a system to get someone back in the event of a death/serious injury to someone at home, when it comes to births there is no such "right", although they will try if they can. So, the Army may well say that your husband has to make the difficult decision as to which is more important and use his R&R accordingly.

Hopefully someone will be able to help you out.

jcscot · 27/06/2013 14:38

Also, if there's a possibility that his father may last until after the tour, then they will not grant compassionate leave unless it becomes clear that his father only has a few days left - a gamble, I know.

LtEveDallas · 27/06/2013 15:01

Joint Casualty and Compassionate Centre (JCCC) can sort this out, but only when it becomes obvious that dad is in the last stages, sorry.

I have a card in front of me if you want the number. PM me.

TheFallenNinja · 27/06/2013 15:03

If it's a civvie hospital there should be a forces liaison officer. Try them.

firstpost · 27/06/2013 18:33

Thanks all.

I do understand there is no right for dh to be present at the birth. However as someone who had suffered with Pnd and currently suffering with ante natal depression the consequences of him not attending the birth are just too much for me to bear.

Equally how do I deny my dh the right to see his dying dad ?

I have little family support the baby will be c section so not having him here may well have serious consequences for my mental and physical health.

He needs just a week, it's not more than the army should be willing to give.

OP posts:
LtEveDallas · 27/06/2013 18:39

No, no, not saying anything against that firstpost. You are quite right in the way that you feel, it's just awkward I suppose with the way that the rules work. To the JCCC you, as his NOK are the first priority, his father second, however a birth is not as important as a death. They have guidelines they have to follow that's all.

I'm sure if you speak to someone at JCCC and explain what is going on that they will be willing to help - they are a very good and very well trained bunch with bags of experience. I'm sure they will be willing to help.

Best of luck, I hope it all works out.

firstpost · 27/06/2013 19:00

Thank you Smile hope did not sound ungrateful for the very useful advice. It's just I am a week away from giving birth and it feels so desperate and welfare haven't even got back to me yet having sent an email that I poured my heart and soul into.

It hadn't occurred to me to try jccc again without some sort of support from welfare .. But I will. Thank you

OP posts:
everydayaschoolday · 17/08/2013 10:27

Contacting jccc is good advice and I second this. But don't underestimate the power of your padre - they have direct access to your dh chain of command.

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