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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

17 DD off to basic training soon

41 replies

heididrink · 20/02/2013 11:46

I posted on here last year to say that my DD wanted to join the army and that I wasnt very keen .Anyway we have given our permission and she is off to basic training next week.
Does anyone else have experience of DS or DD doing basic training ?
Just how hard did they find it and how long did it take for them to adjust?
Any advice would be most appreciated

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Original poster

heididrink · 15/04/2013 12:23

Hi mumble we have spoken a few times in the past on other threads perhaps under my different name.
I too was not keen for DD to join the army and I started another thread about it simply because I know bugger all about the army other than what I see /hear on the news.
My DD wanted to join when she was 16 and we managed to persuade her to stay at school until she was 17 .
After that it was a losing battle to persuade her to think of any other career choices .
I feel that I have been on the first 7 weeks of her training with her as it has been a very bumpy ride and she has almost quit a couple of times.
My DD is very slight and has no life experience other than school as she has never been interested in boys or clubbing etc. She has struggled mainly with the culture of army training as she was used to praise and positive encouragement at school which she needs. She has also been very homesick and has spent most weekends just sobbing on the phone.
Having said that she was home this weekend and has gone back saying that she is determined to see it thro to the end.
She has grown up a lot in the past 7 weeks and we have both had to learn to detach from one another.......she is a twin and has always been the most needy /vulnerable and my instinct has been to protect her much more than twin sister who oozes with confidence.
I have had to accept that this is what she wants to do and support her but I am finding it difficult.
Her Passing Out Parade is 31st May and if she makes it the loudest cheer from the crowd will be from me :):)

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mumblechum1 · 15/04/2013 12:34

Of course she'll make it! It's great that not all army pple are the same, and that there's room for all types of people as well as the outgoing, loud types!

We'll listen out for you cheering on 31st.

PipsWife · 15/04/2013 12:39

Yay! I remember your post a while back. Go her.

She's made it through the tough part, it's the home straight now.

You must be so proud!

mumblechum1 · 17/04/2013 21:31

DS and I have had another chat tonight. Looks like he can't go to Herrick 20 after all with the TA. He has no enthusiasm for Uni at all, (he has a place all lined up) all his friends at school talk about nothing but A levels, Uni, etc etc but he never mentions any of that.

He admits he is completely and utterly obsessed with the Army and the happiest time of his life was doing CIC at Catterick for 2 weeks. He's now asked me if I think he should just join as a squaddie this summer (will try AOSB but I think they'll say he's too young) rather than mark time for 3 years at Uni.

It's so hard to advise, obviously if he has a degree it will make it easier to get a job when the Army career is finished, but I suspect he'd either drop out or do quite badly because he has no academic motivation at all. I did say to him today that I don't think he's ever going to do a corporate type job anyway, I can see him going in the police or fire service after the Army rather than sit at a desk all day.

He's actually q bright and will get decent A level results. Any advice/experience of this situ?

Original poster

heididrink · 19/04/2013 11:33

Hi mumble your DS sounds a lot like my DD .
She too became obsessed by the army but it was after spending a weeks placement with Fire and Rescue .She has 13 exam passes all at A or B level but refused to think of further education in any shape or form. She hated school and the thought of doing more studying fills her with dread. She applied to college tho because I told her that she had to in case she didnt get into the army. Her heart wasnt in it tho and she heaved a sigh of relief when she didnt have to go.
The only way that I could approach this was to break it down

See if she made it thro the selection process . I secretly hoped that she would find that it wasnt for her
When they join they must stay for 28 days so I waited to see if she got thro that.
I then waited to see if she would complete her first 7 weeks of training

Now that she has done all of that and we are in the final 7 weeks of training I can see that it must be the right place for her because the training in my mind is brutal. It really is very hard and you must want it 100% to remain. My DD was asked if she wanted to think about training as an officer - she doesnt - at her selection interview so it could be a possibility for your DS

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mumblechum1 · 19/04/2013 15:21

Thanks Heididrink; they certainly do sound like two peas in a pod!

Agree about the training being brutal; when ds got back from Catterick (his Phase 2 TA training) his back basically had a hole in it where the bergen had been rubbing on an 8 mile tab with god knows what weight on it. Then they did pressups. In a stream. In February.

They have to be slightly crazy to love it so much but they do!

Original poster

heididrink · 14/07/2013 13:38

Hi
Just thought I would give you un update. DD did not pass out on 31st May as planned because she was back trooped ie had to repeat 6 weeks of her training.
This was the same week that she was told that her gran was dying and it was unlikely that DD would see her again.
I really thought she would be home at this point as it was a very tough time for her however she decided to stay and to take it one week at a time.
On Fri she finally Passed Out :) :) :) :) and what a change in her.
She has become very poised and self assured and loves the army and is looking forward to Phase 2 training.
Not sure if this will help anyone ( incl parents ) who finds basic training tough but I have gone from despair to elation with her and never thought I would say this but it really was worth the hard work.
So proud of her :)

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Original poster

heididrink · 15/07/2013 10:52

bump :)

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ArtOfficial · 15/07/2013 11:13

Fantastic news, well done to your DD

WorrySighWorrySigh · 20/07/2013 21:43

Vey well done to your DD (and to you!). I have been reading your posts with interest as my DS is keen to join as a junior soldier in a couple of years.

Original poster

heididrink · 21/07/2013 11:32

thanks :)
just dropped DD at train station with two ENORMOUS kit bags for phase 2 training.
I was fine and excited for her until I returned home........so quiet and empty without her. I have been wandering about picking up the debris she has left behind.
Not sure I will ever get used to this :(

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mummyflood · 22/07/2013 13:54

Hi heididrink, just seen this. Fantastic to see an update.

HUGE congratulations to your DD - and well done you for staying strong!!

Wishing her a fantastic future and a great career!! You WILL get used to her coming and going...DS is going back to base tommorrow, just had 3 weeks leave after his third deployment, going again at beginning of November...covers his 20th birthday and Christmas. The kit bags are still enormous, he has cultivated a fantastic tan, and best of all, he has grown into a mature young man who raves about his job, his colleagues/friends and his future.

xxx

Original poster

heididrink · 22/07/2013 21:17

thanks mummyflood
feeling better today DD phoned to say camp is enormous but is getting used to it.
phase 2 completely different from basic training only 4 to a room and not twelve and she finished at 4.00pm today.
Very different from when she was phoning at 7pm saying that she had just finished drill and still had ironing or admin to do.
So nice to hear that your DS is doing well

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mummyflood · 23/07/2013 21:54

I remember when my DS had his serious ''wobble'' and we had to involve the welfare officer etc, they said to him ''this is not the real RAF, it gets a lot better than this''. How true that has proven to be, and obviously the same in the army

How long is her phase 2, and what trade has she gone for? Reading back on your posts, it sounds as though she went as a girl and graduated a young lady through her own determination and commitment. You must be so proud of this above all else.

Best wishes to you. xx

LeGavrOrf · 23/07/2013 21:57

Oh bless you. I remember this thread very well (posted under a different name) and I am so pleased for you and her. It must be so hard for you. But you must be so proud that she has completed it.

I am DREADING dd joining up but have to keep a lid on it and say encouraging things. She is on an Army camp now and is still determined to join next year.

I wish your dd continued success and happiness, and hope you deal as well as you can in missing her.

Original poster

heididrink · 05/08/2013 11:03

hi mummyflood she is off to learn how to drive she has just passed the theory and is waiting to do the practical.
Not sure how long she will be away but she gets weekend leave most weeks and is planning on coming home in 2 weeks time
She was really angry when she phoned last week because the army wont recognise any of her exam qualifications because they are Scottish
She is being made to sit an NVQ in basic English
If the exam results are good enough for English Universities why not the British army
She has been boxing and is on a list to try parachuting so it is very different from basic training

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