deployments go one of two ways

[driventodrink]

I have name changed as this will out me, some of you will know who I am though

DH has been gone since September.

So far I have :

1. had DD throwing up for 6 weeks, she's at boarding school so I have had to do 300 mile round trips to pick her up, make hospital appointments etc etc Whilst arranging childcare for youngest DD at home as she still has to go to school

2: had FIL emailing DH telling him I am not in when he rings and must be off with my fancy man, I wish I was sat in hospital with a very sick DD (see point 1)

3: had FIL find out what is wrong with DD, after I speak to him and tell him not to tell DH as he can't do anything so doesn't need bothering, so he promptly emails DH telling him everything and some made up stuff (scary illness that DD doesn't have) and tell DH I am lying to him when I say DD is OK

4: gone to do the school run and found a completely flat tire on my car

5: gone to use DH car and had all the warning lights come on

6: driven into a flood and broken down with 4DC and dog in car and had to phone AA

7: blown up 1 TV

8: sorted out special diet for DD (dietician appointment not till end of Feb), got school on board only for school nurse to say she thinks we should wait for dietician appointment and I now have upset DD who is feeling sick and taking anti sickness tablets again :(

9: caught the D&V bug going around

10: had my car dump its antifreeze all over the drive, I have topped up and duck taped the pipe

Guess which type of deployment I am having?

You really have been driven to drink!

I hope your DD starts to feel better, and would you like a shotgun for your FIL?

Frosty I would love a shotgun

In 16 years of being an army wife, with numerous deployments I have never known one be as disastrous as this one. I think I must need more

I can do feck all else to help you, but I can send

chipping I am drinking the virtual wine now, can't crack open the real stuff as my stomach won't take it and I have to go out later to doggy classes

Think my worst was when DH went to South Africa on PR mission ( they troop went every year on a charity thing, a jolly really)

I drove into the back of a tank. ( it was stationary)

I had the flu and social services asked me to take in my four year old grand daughter which was obviously a yes but I really needed to talk to him about it.

In my experience tank drivers always park is silly places so obviously wasn't your fault frosty

Frosty You drove into a stationary tank?

Driven How was your dodgy doggy class? How are you feeling today?

Chipping I had a great doggy class, we have a rescue who is about 18 months old and was an evil, disobedient hound when DH left, now after week 4 of doggy classes he is the class swat and last night even barked at another dog that was being naughty

I am feeling much more calm and composed today, amazing how fixing a few little mishaps, a lunch out (well it would have been rude not to eat in the Joh Lewis cafe as I was there at lunch time getting a new tv sorted) and a good rant on here can make you feel. Stomach is also recovering so may have some actual rather than virtual tonight :)

Eldest DD phoned, she is following her diet by avoiding food she isn't allowed, they only have a week left so she thinks she can pretty much make it through with the special snacks I had already provided.

He sounds brilliant mine never quite got the hang of behaving and I took 3 SETS of beginner classes DH is going to be very impressed! if he's not, you can send him to his fathers

Of course it would have been rude not to have eaten at JL while you were there - totally unacceptable!

I hope eldest DD's diet helps her, must be pretty crap for her.

sorry I can't send the real thing, but hope your stomach is up to it tonight!!

It's a lovely sunny day here - hope it is where you are too!

I reversed

Another time I reversed in to bus. The bus my DH drove. And the rest if the troop used every week. Nobody about so I thought. Got out car to see entire troop looking round the end of bus.

Everytime I went up to their garages again the linked arms and ringed the bus. Bastards!

Frosty we have all been there well not driven into the back of a tank or bus but have all done something at every unit that we shall remain infamous for

Chipping stomach is fine now and if it wasn't then I have just made it by going into the mess to support the Big Curry Lunch. Why does army curry taste the same worldwide? All the wives were invited but turned out that I was the only one brave enough to go so had a lovely lunch with 20 lads in uniform who have all sworn to keep it secret from DH

I have to teach dog a new trick for next weeks lesson, I was thinking fetch the wine bottle

You poor thing - I feel I should offer you my name!!! DH leaves the RN in 2 weeks, so I am going to have to name change anyway!

I would send you a case of if I could...if only so you could dump it on FIL's head. What a prat.

Thanks Fedup FIL is a prat and as a family we all laugh at DS's name for him, since he was little and couldn't say granddad he has always called him grandbad which is an apt name for him. DS is 10 now and still calls him it

Its amazing how In Laws can annoy you from 300 miles away, although when I last spoke to DH he was annoyed with him too as he had emailed to say he was cross that I hadn't bothered to remind him of eldest 2 DCs birthdays. DH pointed out that no one else needed a reminder.

Hope your new navy free life is enjoyable, or will you be fed up with DH being around and not disappearing for months on end

Hasn't even been one week yet and so far:

1. I have locked myself out of the house
2. locked my 18 month old baby IN the car whilst shopping at bluewater
3. Central heating has packed up and waiting on a part which wont be here until Next Tuesday
4. Cried every night and have demolished left over cakes/biscuits from my daughter birthday and drank a swimming pool in wine......

I am in 2 minds....at least he won't be in Scotland....or Bahrain....or Yemen or Ukraine (!!!) or anywhere exciting. But he hasn't yet found a job, and he needs to! The vol redundancy package was good, but not THAT good. To be fair to DH I don't think he wants to be a kept man...

Watch this space...

fedupwithmanundermyfeet
fedupwithoutthenavy
fedupwithmanwithoutjob

He did apply for a job in Dubai, so actually I might retain the name after all....

Good luck with your FIL - at least your DH is on side!

Clumsy funnily enough I have not locked myself out of the house since I gave a friend a spare key, I used to do it regularly

Get a key safe car key holder and put it in a safe place on the underside of your car, we had to do this as we once had a car that was prone to suddenly locking itself and refusing to unlock with the blip key, would only work with the master override key.

Sorry about your central heating, have MHS provided you with fan heater, they are supposed to especially as you have young children and it is very cold now.

Keep eating the biscuits/cake, there is time towards the end of a tour to do a sudden weight loss regime. Have some from me, I will share mine with you.

Feel free to come on here and moan, I have found it is a great way to stop yourself from crying.

Hope you manage to turn the deployment around, I am determined now that I have broken my last electrical, automotive, child or anything else until DH gets home nothing to do with the freezing weather and going into hibernation until he gets back

DH did his 22 was unemployed for 6 months (god that was a nightmare. I worked from home!)

He then went into MPGS and I found a job out of the house. He now does 4 on 4 off so is home more than me so does 70% of the housework (but never notices dust , finderprints or paw prints) 99% of the cooking and all of the ironing grin result!

Yes driven I have the fan heater... weve moved around quite a bit but this is the most dire MQ weve been in..... and any idea where i can get a safe car key holder?

Driventodrink - I could be you. DH deployed in August and like you I am 16 years into this game and was quite laid back about him going away this time, plus its a shorter deployment than normal but the past 3 1/2 months have been so similar to what you describe.

I have had 3 white goods die, 2 cars that both decided to have issues on the same day I needed to fetch DD from her boarding school in an urgent ill child mercy mission. Assumed poor sick DD was just suffering from a nasty bug from school only to end up calling an ambulance at 2am. I have spent a stupid amount of time in hospitals with one sick child. Eldest DD started a new bs in September and there have been issues there with her settling in - peaking when I was in hospital with DD2 and no car and a dead mobile phone. DD2 also was involved in a (thankfully relatively minor) accident whilst on an overseas school trip. MHS decided half way through all this palaver they wanted to reinsulate our loft and fit a new kitchen. Our loft contains what was in our garage at our last posting as we have no garage here and the rules (as reminded by rather official paperwork) say loft should be empty. Thankfully no one turned up to do either job!! I have also had recurrent tooth ache and my dentist is 70 miles from where we live and in the opposite direction to both DC boarding schools. I have driven literally thousands of miles over the past few months and feel like I never want to drive again. I am now this week trying to resolve the year 9 bitching hell that DD1 (and me) are living through which comes just in time for DD1s foreign school trip next week. This week DD1 was gone from bursting with excitement to not wanting to go and being in tears because of all the fall outs and bitching that seems to go on and on and on!!

I am at my wits end.

I have kind of held it together really well - but have to say in private I have cried pretty much at least once a week, which is not like me at all.

We are nearing the end of this deployment now and I can honestly say it cannot come quick enough.

I hope you are still clinging onto some small scrap of sanity, as am I.

Clumsy This here is one I got from googling car key safe magnetic box, sure there must be others. As they are magnetic we have also been known to secure them to a spade in the shed with a house key for emergencies

Soggy (in my other name) I have commented on some of your posts and thought you could be me I hope your DD sorts out the school issues, we had some issues last year with DS2 and his BS but now he has settled and loves it (we were close to removing him had even spoken to CEAS about it thinking we had made a huge mistake and the BS was not for him). Its horrid when they are in hospital when DH is away, my DD ended up in A&E, I drove 160 miles to get to her for them to give her morphine and anti sickness drugs then tell her they had no beds go home

I am glad yours is nearly over we are only 2 months into 7 months. If I have sanity left when he gets home it will be quickly taken away by our impending move, to god knows where but they will tell us when he gets back ready to move in a month DH may come home and find the house empty of everything I have decluttered whilst he wasn't here ready to move (most of which is his crap extremely important stuff that hasn't been used in the 3 years here)

Ahh Driven - you poor thing. Only 2 months in!! Yikes. Hang on in there - open the baileys like NOW and sod waiting for Xmas.

I am so emotionally worn out. Every time the phone rings these days my tummy lurches and I have a quick mental game of which school? which child? what now? I am almost happy to get the PPI recorded crap instead.

So far this term I have hated the new school, loved it and am now a bit unsure once again but not entirely sure its bad enough to consider moving her - although I have sat up pondering the possibility more than once.

We did our last move with 4 weeks notice - manic but over quick enough before a complete mental breakdown! Good luck and yeah - start decluttering.

Shout - if you ever need a virtual hand hold