Any military wives stepmums?

[Stepmumm]

Has anyone married a military man who had kids full time and looks after them solely while he's deployed?

Hi I had my step children in the school holidays with or without their Dad being there (mostly not). What's up?

Nonio - just wanted a 'what its like' viewpoint, i'm starting to realise what i'm taking on! Briefly we're moving in together next year and he will be moved base shortly after. That means mon - fri i will have my ds plus 3 step kids whilst he's away or we all move (i'm reluctant to do that as i'd give up my job/independence, friends) and when he's deployed i think i'd struggle more.

Alot depends on age and if they have contact with their mother, so how old are they and do they see their mother also how long have you been together with Dp? Sorry about all the questions xxx

Nonio, no problem

They will be 13, 8 and 5. The mother is not around

Ps we'll have been together 3 years

I guess honesty is the best policy. It is good that their mother is not round as when my SC came home via their mum it was like hell, with lots of your not my mother etc. But i never tried to replace there mum and now they are great. As you have been together for 3 years you must have a relationship with the children already good I think are you are moving in.
With 4 children life will be mad to say the least,(what does your Ds think). It is hard at first because you don't have rules and boundaries and my DH and I clashed about the rules. From the start I wish I had told him never side with the children over me it would have saved lots of arguing.
You will do all the shit and he will do all the good stuff at weekends. The reverse of this is you will have a better relationship with the children.
What do all the children have to say about you moving in? If you have to sell it a little go for the you can stay with your friends and school etc.
Hope this helps ask more if you need to or PM if it's better for you x

Thanks Nonio - I wanted to chat it over with someone in the same position as its a completely different way of life to civvy street (if you know what I mean!). My DS is really looking forward to it, its me who's scared! I'm wondering if I can cope going from 1 in a quiet house to a mad house. He can't wait to be with other kids (we spend weekends together now) so we have our ups and downs. My future DH doesn't side with his kids over me ( I reckon I'm more likely to do that with my DS, though I try now to!)

All the kids (on the whole) are happy for us to move together - we're moving to a different area though, I'm not moving in with him. I thought that would be better for a neutral start.

Yes the military thing is a bit 1950/on another plant/ Foreign laugage. You will get used to it you probably are as you have been together for three year. I found it hard at first then I excepted that until we were married i didn't exist and after like baggage. But they do take are of their own.

I think your scared because it will be a culture stock on a grand scale and if you didnt have reservation about such a big change that would worry me more. The neutral start sounds good a new home for all! Just remember ups and downs are part of normal life x

Thanks nonio