Nok

[mummytasha11]

Hi everyone

My fiancé starts basic training for the army in aug, we have 1 ds and been together for 8 years
He's filled out his forms with his mother for Nok details?
Is this the norm or should I not be put down for NOK?

I think (although somebody who knows more will be along soon) that you can only be NOK if you're married or related. He can put you as an additional person to be notified which would mean you would be told if anything happened rather than having to wait for his mother to tell you.

Devil is right in the military's eyes you are not his next of kin, and his additional person has to be family, you maybe able to put your Ds down as the person to be notified via you as he is a minor.

Ok thank you

I think we are going to come across a few touch and go things because we aren't married x

They are still very old fashioned when it comes to not being married.

They will only enter into legal commitments (housing etc) with those whose military OH's have entered a legal relationship (ie marriage or CP).

Wider welfare is available. Get in touch with AFF (who post on Mumsnet sometimes) and find out how to get the best out of the system.

Please please please do NOT put your son down as NOK or EC. The Casualty Informing Officer (I know it is not called that but I cannot remember the proper name) HAS to (by law) tell the specifically named person of the incident, and then they have to relay it from there. The gentleman who did it here had to tell someone's 8 year old nephew that his uncle had died in Iraq because the soldier had thought it would be funny to put him down as EC.

As for NOK probably best parents at the moment with you as EC. Both parties will be informed but I think the NOK is the only one who can deal with the Army with regards to funeral arrangements or emergency medical care should the worst happen.

Really horrible thing to think about, but also incredibly important to know.

Please also ensure that you have the JCCC number with you and your OH's service number. Should anything happen to your child together then the Army will move heaven and hell to get him home. Unfortunately, they won't for you though unless you are married.

Or do what half a dozen people I know have done. Have a quickie registry office wedding now, then you become his legal NOK and can access all the other benefits that come with being married (housing being the most financially worthwhile). Then just carry on and plan your "wedding" as normal = a blessing if you want a church do, a humanist committment ceremony if you want a civil do.

Even with a child together, you'll get nothing - no pension, no housing etc etc.

And yes, they will literally move heaven and earth to get him home for your son (they will hire a private jet if they have to) but until you're married, you get nada.

The NOK does NOT have to be his mother, he CAN choose. My DH chose to put down my parents as his NOK (before we were married) as he didn't want his mother or father informed as he only speaks with his father and not at all to his mother.