Pregnancy/birth while husband is overseas? Anyone been through this?

[CaveMum]

This is currently a hypothetical problem, so bear with me.

DH (RAF) and I have been trying to conceive our first child for almost 2 years, without success. I have PCOS and do not ovulate so have been undergoing all kinds of medical tests, drugs, etc.

DH has just informed me that he may have to do a tour of Afghan starting in January 2013, which means we now have to make the very difficult decision to either

A) carry on TTC and if I fall pregnant in the next few months just learn to deal with the fact that he will not be here for the last part of the pregnancy and birth.

Or

B) postpone TTC for a few months and hope that I fall pregnant sometime between October and January so that he is home for the birth at least.

I really don't want to put off TTC. We've been trying for so long now and I'm desperate to have a baby, but on the other hand I'm not sure I could cope with the latter stages of a first pregnancy and birth on my own.

Has anyone been through this? Any helpful advice?

Not been through this but have had to plan for it (with my second), and know people who have. I would say if you think your chances of conceiving will diminish by taking a break and you have good friends or family who can help you out, I.e. when in labour and immediately after, then carry on. If it makes no difference to you then wait. Deployments come up regardless of our own personal timings and I guess he could go away at anytime. So you could fall pg, have the baby then he gets deployed! Really only you know how well you'll cope alone. Lots of people have done it. Hopefully someone will be along soon with more experience .

Hi cavemum. I think due to your PCOS citcumstances and how you've been TTC for two years, I'd keep on TTC.

You really want a baby and even if your DH is posted during your latter stages of pregnancy and labour, it still means you would have a baby rather than prolonging it further iyswim.

There would be friends/family/doula who can support you thruogh pregnancy and labour; you'd be fine.

The chance to have your baby is something I wouldn't give up and far more important than anything else so I'd keep with the drugs and TTC and just wait and see if your DH gets the tour before you worry about that.

Worry about the things you can change (being pregnant hopefully ) and don't worry about the things you can't (deployment/labour without DH).

Wishing you loads of luck TTC - hope it happens really soon for you :)

Thanks for the replies. DH has spoken to his boss and explained our situation and that he doesn't really want to go. Thankfully DH is senior enough that he can pick and choose, within reason, hi s tours. Hopefully they can find something else for him [crosses fingers]