"when does he get back?"

[SnapSnafu]

My dh is away for about 5 weeks. Whenver he is away, everyone I meet asks me "when does he get back?". The same people ask me it every time they meet me, dozens of them. I'm talking about acquaintances rather than friends. I get sick of it. I do not need my life to be revolving around when he gets back, as he's away so much, and it makes me feel like 1900s wife, as in there can be nothing else important going on for me than the absence of my provider, and the feeling that they think I'm not coping while he's away. I KNOW! This is all in my head, and they're just being polite.

So, this time, he's due back at Easter or just after, so I've been going with, "I've given him up for Lent, ho ho" move the conversation swiftly on. But is this something that only bothers me? Have any of you got any other ways of dealing with it? I'd love to stop them doing it, but I don't want to be rude either, but it makes my heart sink every time.

They also do the sympathy face when they hear where he is. But there's no need for that. He doesn't do a dangerous job. It's not even slightly risky and it's the bit of the job he likes. He never leaves the base (ok, last week there was evidently a lapse in that safety, but hey ho, you know what I'm saying). I'm fed up with them acting like I have something to worry about (yes, I can't stand being pitied).

I sound a right bloody self-centred bloody mess, don't I? Just sick and tired of the imbalance of our life leaving me like the traditional housewifey when really we are so much more sharey about how we do stuff.

Give me a slap, and tell me to pull myself together, please.

I always found 'when he gets here' to stop those conversations; although I think people are just trying to indicate that they know it can be tough when they're away, especially on ops.

I always say "some time in April" so it sounds secretive and then they don't ask.. I get fed up with people trying to sound all sympathetic, when really they arnt they are just being nosy haha

What really pisses me off is when people (my dad being the main offender) ask "Have you heard from OH?".

He's a submariner .

Sensual - I used to point out that being under the water meant that there weren't any available post boxes!

OP - what about 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you'? Used to use that as well as dh is a submariner.

My friend said to me (before he went away for 3 months last year) "oh but you'll be able to text won't you" - apart from the obvious security issues I often can't get a signal in my local Tesco never mind at the bottom of the bloody sea somewhere!!

Thank you all, had a while reading those. I think "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" will have to be employed. And "when he gets here" is great for the last week ('cos as I'm sure you all know his airline usually overbooked so we don't know when he's coming till he's on the way).

I also love the submariner comments! I hate the "have you heard" comments because I usually have and he's being arsey!

I'm feeling chirpier again today, thank you!

Another thing that REALLY bugs me is when my friends (whose husbands and partners are all in civvie jobs) ask me how long till he he gets back and I say For "500 whatever weeks" they say "oh not long now" .

When have you ever been separated from your partner for that long with no communication and please don't even try to pretend that you understand or that in is in fact "not long" when it is bloody AGES!!!