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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

I miss the forces

11 replies

Tattoos29 · 20/06/2011 16:33

Only left at the start of the year and I am really struggling being a ''civvie'' x

OP posts:

vintageteacups · 20/06/2011 18:10

So have you completely left (not on mat leave?) and if yes, have you got another job and is it one that you like?

Could you not sign back on if not?

I have to say, I know two family members and two friends that have left (one bloke and three to have kids) and all four of them have never settled properly in civvie street, without missing army life to some degree.

notyummy · 21/06/2011 10:28

Do you a partner still in? I found that helped (mostly) as I still went/go to social events with him, and it was the social aspect of life that I missed the most tbh. I think it depends on whether you have a job and how fulfilling you find it too. When I left I went straight into some pretty busy jobs, that paid more than a Junior Off salary...so that helped .

Could you work on building up your social life, or have I missed the point entirely and it is a completely different aspect of it that you miss?

Stars82 · 21/06/2011 11:17

I have also left the forces, spent many years in the RAF and I LOVED it. My DH is still serving and we have a DC who started school last year. Which is why I decided to leave, preassure of childcare, going away etc. I moved to a quieter camp to support my DH in his promotion but I have struggled with my new civvie life, I don't think it helps that my new area is very very quiet so I think I we chose the wrong area to start this 'new' life in. I would never go back on the decision to leave, I stand by why I left. I needed to be able to support my DC more than what i was before I left, and everything I do now works around him and his timetable. If he is ill I can be with him, if he has something at school I can help and attend. etc etc etc

We eat together every night, I do my homework with my DC, and I no longer have to worry about finding childcare.....or finding the money as we used to pay nearly £800 PCM for him to attend a wonderful nursery.

My problem is that I am very very lonely, I can honestly say I have no social life, no close friends and apart from going out to work which i arrange around DH and DC) I do very little else.

We have only been in this area since Oct last year and I honestly don't think I could spend another 2/3 years here.

DH is very very supportive of my feelings and will try to move once he has done 18 months in his current post and bless him he has even offered to look into buying a house nearer to my home to help. I refused this option point blank!! I would rather be unhappy with a few small things in the life and have my family altogether than apart and dealing with DH only coming home at weekends etc.

Well there's my little moan/story lol
happy Tuesday everyone :)

MrsSnaplegs · 21/06/2011 16:26

Tatoos 29 & Stars82 There's plenty of friends on here, we are a bit random a times - with when we post I mean! but we are here, some of us on FS are still serving as well so if you really miss it we could give you a really pointless job to do that someone else is already doing or shout at you if you really wants us to oh and then tell you ther's no money in the budget to fund it

Stars82 · 21/06/2011 16:39

could you also make me feel useless,bad at my job...then F**k up my claims and days off :)

madwomanintheattic · 21/06/2011 17:12

and ask you to save your share of three million before lunchtime (preferably disestablishing your own job in the process). then at cop ask you to come up with ideas to spend the twenty thou left in this year's budget other wise 'we'll lose it'.

oh yeah. i miss it like a hole in the head.

i estimated about 20% of workload was worthwhile, 80% was a complete waste of everyone's time. utterly pointless.

madwomanintheattic · 21/06/2011 17:13

that said, i do know a few people that have crawled back after a year in civvy street.

not as many as are planning on running for the hills currently, but y'know. horses for courses.

Happylander · 27/06/2011 20:25

I was in the Navy from 1990 to 1994 and missed it. Well actually I missed the friendship, discipline and easy nature of Armed Forces people. My job was absolutely rubbish and I was shit at it and don't miss that.

I missed the good bits that much and joined the TA as a nurse about 5-6 years ago. Best of both worlds IMO even though we get the piss taken out of us by the Regs. I get to enjoy some of the funstuff and have made great friends with a similar sense of humour but don't have all the crap of it being fulltime. Still get crap though especially as only a Lt and still seem to get into the same amount of trouble at 38 as I did at 20!!

Maybe you could try being a reservist? The ski trips are great

MrsSnaplegs · 27/06/2011 20:56

Happylander - were you a nurse in RN?? If so we may know each other besides the fact you are now TA nurse so if you have been "hot n dusty" over past few years I may have done your HG audit

Happylander · 27/06/2011 21:08

No I was a radar operator/seamen. Bloody hated it!! Came out, went travelling, buggered about a bit and then trained as a nurse. I was out in the lovely desert in beginning of 2008. I was going to join the RAF but then met my DH and drunkenly got pregnant and decided it would be too tricky with childcare as he was in Army. Shame as I would have been in all three services ......although clearly not a shame that I met my DH and had my DS!

MrsSnaplegs · 27/06/2011 22:02

Just missed you then

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