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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

A forces AIBU.

9 replies

busymummyboo · 27/04/2011 11:38

So we have just moved. New house 4 kids, new area. So far hubby has been away for most of it. Sent here, sent there, sent everywhere. It's been a struggle.

I know it's the RAF so suck it up. It would be less stressful if my MQ asn't falling apart mind.

Anyway back to work yesterday for the first time in weeks due to him being sent away. They want to send him away again, for work ohhhhhhh and a two week piss up tour with the Army in Germany.

On what planet is this acceptable? I'm just so cross right now, I don't see us making the year here to be honest. He's never here, but I have to just suck it up. But his work putting him on recreational tours is just taking the piss.

I have had it to here ^^^ [cangry]

OP posts:

MrsSnaplegs · 27/04/2011 11:55

YANBU to be thoroughly hacked off but as we all know it comes with the job, wives however have not signed on the dotted line for Queen and Country as DH do. I am serving so can look at it from the other perspective, yes we knew what we were signing up for when we joined up but many of us did so when single and none of us enjoy spending time away from our families but unfortunately we do have to do it.

Where are you based ? Is there much support there? Get on to modern housing dilemmas and keep badgering them to come and get the bits on the house sorted! Take your frustration with the system out on them

Saltire · 27/04/2011 13:07

My DH is RAF. he's beena way for most of April (holidays cancelled) is away for most of May (holidays cancelled and July (ditto holidays) we ahve cancelled about 4/5 holidays in 4 years for various MOD things.
This last lot have pissed me off big time though

Original poster

busymummyboo · 27/04/2011 13:26

Same here Saltire, 100% same here. Then when he's not being sent here there or everywhere, for things that aren't really his job, they put him on a rec tour when he's back.

Where the hell is MY recreation time, OUR family time.

Like he does not have a family to go home to or what. Pissed off does not cover it atm!

OP posts:

madwomanintheattic · 28/04/2011 00:38

go and have a little chat with the families officer.

but be aware that some of these 'i have to go' trips turn out to be the dh's putting their names down, and not compulsory at all.... mostly legit, of course, but i've heard so many blokes telling little white lies to their wives over the years that occasionally i do double check.

but tis a real pita when they are away all the time. some postings are just like that. it's only going to get worse once the redundancies kick in...

dh has got two days left at work. then it's civvie street... at least i know where he'll be sleeping save a couple of occasional work trips once in a blue moon. we just got to the point where it was time to go

MrsSnaplegs · 28/04/2011 03:40

Busymummyboo - I have to say in 19 years service I have never been on a rec work trip of any kind - skiing etc clearly I am in the wrong trade

madwomanintheattic · 28/04/2011 05:26

i've had a few ski trips, a week canoeing in the ardeche, some climbing and stuff. but actually the best ones were work trips. couple of hours hard graft a day, then knock off to the bar. different european city each time.

i suspect they are few and far between now though. these days it's more work and far less play.

wheresthepimms · 28/04/2011 09:45

Busymummyboo you sound like me. We got here in august, have 4 kids and live on a camp where my husband doesn't work, he works 35 mins down the road but there were no MQs there so we got dumped here, no one here talks to us as we are nothing to do with them. DH has been away lots, especially as his Bn is very spread out and he has to spend a lot of time in Germany. The only thing I can say is now I am starting to make friends with some locals from the village school, life is starting to look up but so far having done 15 years moving around this one has to rate as the worst most unfriendly place. Top tip I have is as soon as the kids are off school, get in the car and go visit friends. I have even given up asking if DH will be home for supper and brought in a load of ready meals for when he does get home, I am treating it like he is deployed and have a mental tick chart of days till we get posted in my head (well it's only 18 months now)

Original poster

busymummyboo · 28/04/2011 10:17

That's the exact position I'm in word for word ^

Ahhhhhhhh well suck it up. I know it's going to get worse too!

OP posts:

GingerWrath · 02/05/2011 21:03

My Dad was forces too and used to say 'if the military wanted the lads to have wives they would have issued them'..no consolation, it's bloody hard!

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