any advice for helping children missing their dad?

[tookoolforskool]

Im no longer married to a soldier ;)
but we have a child. She is 5 and this is the first time he has been away for any lenght of time that shes really be aware of.
We seperated when she was 3. So she is used to not seeing him and exercises and things have been managed so she has not really gone ( bar twice) more than a month with out seeing him.

between the ages of birth and 2.5 she didnt really see him at all. long tours.

Anyway. shes really quite upset and i have just found out, unsurprisingly that hes going to be back a month later than he thought.

She has been counting the days down and is expecting to spend a week with him at easter.. and now hes not back until mid may.

being on civie street shes the only one of her friends going through this and i dont have anyone to ask the best way to deal with it.

Ive not told her yet.

so, am hoping somone can help?

thanks

I would definitely speak to her school and let them know why she might be feeling a bit low at the moment (perhaps she's okay at school though as she's kept busy).

At 5, she should be able to kind of understand that he isn't coming back when you thought he would be and even though you're not together, tell her that you're sad too etc.

perhaps you could organise a couple of days away with her instead or a couple of nice days out to keep her mind off it?

It's sad; she'll be sad but these things do happen and I think because you're no longer married, she'll be sort of used to visiting him at different times etc.

Hoep it's not too upsetting for her - could he skype/call her more over the next few weeks to make up for it a bit?

no sykpe. hes in kenya.with an apparently slow internet connection.

he phones once a week for about 5 mins and shes has had one letter... which took 3 weeks to get to us. the second one is on its way.

I had told school.

She was expecting to spend a week with him at easter.

I think its just the first time shes really been really upset about it, when she was younger she either didnt really notice or say, or was very easily distracted.
Now, not so much. We have done lots of nice things, as we usually do but she still says shes a bit sad becuase daddy is away and she cant see him. or phone him.

:(

I told mine that if they looked at the night stars, their knew their daddy was looking at the same stars. That worked quite well.

Can she write him blueys?

Eblueys and if he can record a bedtime story for her to hear via mp4 or something? I know the Hive normally offer this before det, but that doesn't help you!

In case you haven't seen it, here's a link to SCISS, about good practice for Service Children in State Schools. This includes a presupposition that children welcoming home parents from operations will be granted authorised absences in term time.

Can you try to fix this up With DD"s school? It won't make up precisely for Easter, but a promise of a special holiday when he does come might sweeten things a little.

Make up a special box of 'stuff to show Daddy' for when he comes home, pictures from school, maybe press a couple of spring flowers, she can choose a little soft keyring/bear ect for him.

That way she can positively anticipate him coming back rather than counting down the extra days.
You could put a spin on it...'Good job Daddy's not coming back yet becase we haven't filled up his surprise box enough yet..'
It's heartbreaking how much they miss them, isn't it?
LOVE the stars idea too!

there is a book called my daddys going away, its really good, you can get it online