Tips on settling DC at school when she knows she will only be there for a year

[mumof2girls2boys]

I thought as this was number 4 I was good at this, but DC3 has given us a real confidence knock in settling him this time. DD starts primary school in September but we know (and she does) that it will only be for the year as we are due to be posted towards the end of the school year, if not sooner. Normally I would be fine with this but DC3 is on his 2nd school in this posting as at the first he didn't settle well, was bullied and then we were accused of some nasty things as he is an army brat and my DH an awful ptsd full army grunt (all of which is untrue but the school he was at had a stereotype of an army person and applied it to us, only to retract it all later and say OH didn't realise you were an officer, your DC shouldn't be in this school). We now have found a lovely village school and DC3 settled well, he is off to board with the older 2 in Sept and is now starting to play up again as he knows he is leaving the school. So DC3 has made me concerned over DC4 who will start school knowing she will be leaving within 8 months.

Prior to this posting my confidence on raising my DCs and settling them into school was sky high I had done it so many times, but now a little friendly advice would be nice :)

I'm not sure I have any advice, but will try to be friendly!

Your confidence was high for good reasons - you've steered your DCs through a lot, and by and large it's gone well. When it hasn't, you've fixed it.

For DC4, it's probably harder for you than her. You know the school and like it and she should be fine. You know the ropes where you are, and perhaps some of the other parents already. 8 months is a long time when you're small - settle her in as you would as if you were staying. She'll be fine.

DC3 Has only a term to get through. Hang on in there with him, and really stress the things he likes. At least you know he'll thrive on the stability of settled schooling, and you're so nearly there. Give him a chuff chart, and remember - as I'm sure you're doing - lots of attention and stuff he enjoys beyond school. You'll get through this bit; trust your instincts and long term plan.

It is tough for our DC isn't it, no wonder we use the CEA! Our DC between age 4 and 8 were never in a school longer than a year and by 8 were at their 5th school. We all know there are no quick fixes but a couple of tips I have picked up along the way...
DC3 knows he is off to board and is looking forward to going.For our DC1 we used the reverse of "if you misbehave you will go to boarding school." Quietly remind him that he has to behave for you to let him go and of course his current school will have to write a report (last bit maybe not relevant to DC3).
As for DC4 you mentioned she knows she won't be there long but as MPSW says 8 months is a long time for a DC in reception. So she will be there for autumn half term, Christmas, spring half term etc. If you explain it in those terms it might help as it makes the time seem stretched out. I found it helped if ours didn't hear us saying too often that we weren't here much longer.
The fact that this is DC4 you are worried about I suspect means that you have been brilliant settling in the previous 3 before. I am sorry that DC3 had a tough time but there is no reason to believe that DC4 will have any problems.
Do you know where you are posted to next? Be positive and good luck!

Remember postings get cancelled! I have bitter experience of this.

sorry had a name change was bored of the old one :)

No idea where we will go next but are sure it will be before the end of the school year as we already know the replacement coming in. I am beginning to think she will be fine and I should trust my judgement as pointed out having done this 3 times already and settled DCs into 6+ (loosing count) schools. I am sure that now we have found a school that is not prejudiced against army children we will not have the issues that we had with DC3. Maybe I am actually having last one going off to school worries

We do try to not mention moving etc, but as with savvy army kids my older ones now know that pattern and even they now start packing up their stuff and switching off at the 18 month point saying nearly time to leave. Part and parcel of our transient lifestyle I guess. DD1 phoned on Saturday proud of the fact that she had her list of things to do before the end of term, what to pack etc and had already packed half her kit as it had to be done by Wednesday (hmm wonder where she gets that from)

DC3 has now settled down again, after the you won't be able to go to boarding school if you don't behave lecture, let down mummy,make me embarrassed to be your mummy etc etc

What's reception like at the school DC4 will be going to? Ate they already at nursery and could they go to nursery at the school if they don't already for a bit so it seems like they're there longer?

It will be okay in the end. You know it will because you've done it again and again before successfully and only had 1 setback. That was the exception, not the rule!

snap the reception teacher seems nice and the kids in there this year all are having a great time, however the nursery she goes to has kids all going to the school DC3 started at and we had issues with. She will be the only one going to the school DC3 now goes to and this school(being a very tiny village school) doesn't have an attached nursery. I guess some of the children will know each other but the most won't which should help as little groups won't already be made. DC3 keeps telling her how he would love to be in reception as they always look like they are having so much fun, unfortunately being DC4 she is used to boarding school drop off and is so at home there she doesn't understand why she can't go there.