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soldier died in afghan

11 replies

HowWilliKnow · 10/03/2011 06:49

my brother is out there, soldier is from his regiment.

I don't know if his wife has my phone number. we normally email each other, and I call them on his phone when he is home. We get on great, just not really close.

If she doesn't have my number, and I hers, can't get hold of her.

if something was wrong, how easy would it be to find out? how easy it would it be for her to contact me? I am thinking, no news is good news (for me, not the poor family who have recieved such awful news) but worry that it is only because she has no way of telling me.

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HowWilliKnow · 10/03/2011 06:50

oh and I am his only family outside of his wife/children, mum died a few years ago, he does not talk to other siblings (nor do I, long story!) so can't contact another family member to find out if they have spoken to her.

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doricpatter · 10/03/2011 06:55

I'm not sure, just wanted to answer your post. Hope you hear "good" news soon.

HowWilliKnow · 10/03/2011 06:58

thanks, I am sure he is fine. I am sure I would have heard by now. I just worry as he is so close to finishing this tour and this is his last one before he retires.

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LtEveDallas · 10/03/2011 07:04

All sldrs are to provide names/ numbers / adresses of Next of Kin, additional Next of Kin, Emergency Contact and Additional Emergency contact.

From what you have said your brother is likely to have nominated his wife as NOK and you as Addtl NOK.

JCCC holds all this data, NOKs are told within hours, sometimes sooner.

It's horrible but almost certainly no news is good news.

Lines to an from Afghan go 'down' when there is a death, so your SIL is prob feeling shakey now if she knows. Maybe email her

PM me if you like (this is part of my job)


MrsSnaplegs · 10/03/2011 07:35

Yep lt eve is correct I do similar in my job and service and notification is done asap with a families/ bereavement officer there as well. If, big if, it was your brother the families officer could ask police to find you and tell you if they don't have your details.
I would say if he is away she probably could do with extra support now anyway, emAil her, ask for phone no so you can ring, are you near enough to go for a coffee, or offer to babysit?
Again pm if you need more support

HowWilliKnow · 10/03/2011 19:56

Thanks ladies. I have emailed her and FB her. We are in regular contact via email, send photos of the children, she is a quiet woman who prefers to chat via email, or in person, not a good phone person. Unfortunately she lives in Co. Durham and I am at the most western point of Devon, so nipping up is not easy. If she had been even a couple of hours drive away I would have just gone up to find out how she is.

Normally she responds to email or FB email within a few hours/same day and she has not right now, which is why I guess I have had pangs of concern, as she had not responded to my initial emails, but I have let her know I am here, my phone number, asked for hers, and said to call me let me know all is ok. Luckily she has good support herself from her own family who live very close by so is not completely on her own.

Thanks for helping me understand how it all works. I wonder if I am his second NOK now? It was my mum but she died 3 years ago, so don't know if it is me, or SIL's mother who he is close to.

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Grabaspoon · 10/03/2011 19:59

I am sure that IF this were to happen that whoever supports SIL (welfare/friends/family) would contact you.

HowWilliKnow · 10/03/2011 20:04

graba yes, I am sure that by now, I would have heard something. But this morning at 6:30am I put the tv on, saw the news and panicked a bit, it happened wed afternoon their time, so not sure what time that would have been our time and how long it might take to get news to me.

But I feel confident now that he is ok (as well as you can be) and that she is busy with her 3 children right now. I will expect an email later this evening, hopefully.

But, I also feel very sad for the family who have lost their son Sad

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CaveMum · 10/03/2011 22:20

They normally don't let the news agencies know until all next of kin have been informed, hence why lines of communication are shut down in the aftermath of a death.

HowWilliKnow · 11/03/2011 09:14

I have finally heard from both my SIL and my DB himself. SIL is fine, worried for a short time but spoke to a member of his battalion (in this country i think) who advised brother was ok. And a one line email about half hour ago from DB saying 'looking forward to coming home and counting the days'.

thanks again ladies for being very supportive, as always x

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MrsSnaplegs · 11/03/2011 14:32

Glad he's safe -thoughts with the other family Sad

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