Army quarter downstairs loo books!

[vintageteacups]

Okay - so I've decided to build up a few books for the downstairs loo in my next army quarter.

However, I want to buy some really quirky, weird little gems that will make people giggle - mostly vintage books.

To start I've just found the 'weird books' section on www.abebooks.co.uk and pee-ed myself laughing at the book titled:

'All About Scabs'. This one, I will be buying for DH who has always, since he was tiny, picked his scabs!

So list me your quirky/strange/vintage type books that'll make me laugh and that I can still purchase. The smaller the book in size the better really - it'll only be a small shelf I should imagine.

I posted this on 'books' and someone suggested 'Knitting with Dog Hair'.

Divvent worry pet! My mother is (or rather was as father is out now) the epitome of the Gumboots and Pearls Cav WAG (pie crust collar, headscarf, puffa waistcoat, far too much knowledge of tanks...!) highly amusing!

I didn't even tell her about the Para boyfriend when I was at uni - but he was heavenly!!!

try this list of best toilet books - sadly a downstairs LOO list appears unavailable at this time!!! The scouts in bondage book looks very amusing, amongst others!

Ahem mrs Snaplegs here! Snaplegs is my dh - often found on landrover forums
yes I still would like to do a newer triservice version of G&P !! I am on maternity leave until early April and apart from BFing have little to do as DH is normally SAHD so no cleaning etc allowed!!

vintage was planning to pm you about book in a couple of weeks!!

We can have a chapter just for toilet books!!

Asteria - that's fab. will be defo getting and cross referencing 'Zombie Survival Guide' with 'Oh F* Rucksack' thread

MrsSnaplegs - sorry - was getting too familiar. I will resort to your full nickname in future . I always think if people call me 'vintage' or 'teacups', it's like they know me quite well.

Thought you were joking about said book but you actually sound quite serious! Well - someone needs to wipe the slate clean and re-invent the picture of a typical officer's wife!

On my last breastfeeding leave I came up with a novel (I am always trying to think of a book to write) and it was going to be called 'The Officer's Wife'. Think, since then, that someone has written a novel about a steamy affair or something and beat me to it!

Love the Toilet book chapter idea

vintage I'm more of a MrsS when my nn is shortened but I know on here there is a poster called mrs s or similar. Nn for DH and myself used in rl by landrover community - we even have matching Tshirts with them on for LR events! Sad I know and just outed myself to anyone that knows us
Definitely serious about the book - just want DS to get a routine so I have time to write. He is now 5 weeks and in training to be a sumo wrestler - gone from 7 lb 7 on 9 dec to 12 lb 2 on Wednesday this week!

Another funny toilet book - short history of caravans by Richard Hammond from top gear!

Blimey - what a boy! They are milk guzzlers .

Okay - so for the book - have you printed off the previous thread (you know which one!)? That'll come in very useful.

Can't wait to see what title you're thinking of.

From Aug, I'll be able to give you some good material, I'm sure .

I love the hamster so will defo be checking out the caravan book - I saw the prog when they blew them up! In fact, I've told DH that we need to invite the whole TG team for a dinner night. They all do lots of work for Help for Heroes and I reckon it'd nice to thank them. DH doesn't thik they'll come but I'll flutter my eyelashes

PM me if you need book fodder

can we stop saying toilet now please!
I have book by my loo - it's quite a big one but very amusing

I have just gone through my books to chuck on Amazon and remembered I'd gone through a period of collecting totally random titles. So, for example, I have Baldness: A social history, and a tiny little yellow book all about bees. Oooh and a history of dust.

(the book about bees is the only one that's physically very small though)

Oh, you could get The Meaning of Liff - that's teeny and funny.

Vintage - we had a Help for Heroes/Catterick Beagles Ball a few years ago and tried to get the boys from Top Gear along - to no avail sadly. They were far too busy because it was all very new and exciting then - but now that the frenzy has settled a little you might actually be able to coax them into an appearance, especially if there is the prospect of tinkering with a bit of exciting army kit! Bryn Parry on the other hand was incredibly obliging and actually did a special picture for us...

I didn't think of Bryn parry - excellent idea.

oops this was what I tried to post earlier

FFS! link not working - it's a book called "the funniest thing you never said" by Rosemarie Jarski and it's jam packed with silly quotes from famous people covering lots of different subjects.

googled as link still didn't work. It has great reviews - I'm so looking forward to buying all of these books - I might actually put a whole book shelf unit in the downstairs loo to accommodate them all!!!

haha brilliant idea although as a childminder I don't think I could get away with it, ewwwwwwwwwwww could you imagine their gubby mits