How can I change the food my daughter eats, she is so fussy?

[mummytowillow]

My daughter is 2.8 and is such a fussy eater, I weaned her at six months and she would eat anything I gave her, veg, fruit the lot, she got to 18 months and is now a nightmare!!

She is tiny for her age and I've been told to just get the calories down her, she won't eat anything 'sloppy' ie spag bol, cottage pie, pasta etc, she will eat tinned spaghetti but thats it. She won't eat any veg, did eat sweetcorn but refuses that now, won't eat fruit, but will eat pureed pouches of fruit?

So her diet consists of milk am and pm, weetabix or cheerios, chips/potato she can pick up, chicken breast, fish fingers etc, yoghurt. I'm a single mum and struggle for money so feel loathed to keep offering her veg and other food when it goes to waste (I know this is what I should do) She won't eat sandwiches but will eat toast/peanut butter, I feel ashamed at her diet, but don't know where to start to try to change it. If I put what she likes in front of her she will eat it, but if its something different she just cries and cries?

She goes to nursery twice a week and everytime I pick her up they say she hasn't eaten a thing apart from her yoghurt, what must they think of me? Any ideas on what I can do, doctor said she is fine and will eat when she is hungry but I'm not convinced??

Would she go for any novelty options? I got my increasingly fussy 2.8 year old to eat a surprising amount by a)making a face using fruit, b)making everything into cubes and giving her a cocktail stick, c)doing lots of picnics. She ate the largest quantity of food last week on top of a climbing frame.

On desperate days we just offer something desirable - a small chocolate for example - and am always amazed at the quantity of previously 'yucky' food, complete with 'mmm yummy' noises she is suddenly prepared to put away. I try not to do this often, but if I feel like we've had one too many days of speghetti hoops and ham sandwiches, I will get some veg into her in this way.

Marking my place as I too have a fussy 2.8 yo.

Do you eat with her/at the same time as her? I try to eat at the same time as the kids and eat the same things as them, or rather they eat the same as me, despite the cries of 'I hate tomatoes, onions, broccoli etc' if they see you eating it, eventually they seem to give in. You could try a reward chart for new foods/foods eaten? dd1 brought home a rule from school, you must try it 20 times, before you can say you don't like it! so you could try that route (on the other hand, my friends dd only ate fishfingers until she was 6 and is fine!) hth's

Can you cut carrots and parsnips into batons and serve them like chips?

Toast is fine instead of sandwiches, would she eat banana on toast?

I also put chopped fruit into jelly (7p packs from Asda with some chopped strawberries is very cheap and you'll get 4 portions at least)

If she will eat tinned spagetti could you add some blended tomato/onion/veg sauce into it to get more vitamins in?

Also agree with poster who said make the food look fun, my 2 eat loads of mashed potato if i give them peas and let them make faces in the mash!

kids naturally cut back on calories after one year, as they have just finished a huge growth spurt. just when we mummys thing we have this food stuff sorted......

how much milk are you giving am and pm?
and is that part of the breakfast milk you are giving her with her cereal? or is she avoiding some foods because she can fill up with milk later?

although milk is still needed, its easy to go over the top with the amount, so milk with cereal or/breakfast drink/ and for midmorning small cup milk / yogurt/cubes cheese/custard for 2nd course at lunch, and small cup of milk at bedtime is plenty. (by small cup, i think 4 fluidoz)

keep offering the same meals (very important that you eat together) that you eat, and ask her to try one mouthful so that she can then decide if she likes it.
dont always put the same food in front of her, as she could get bored and reduce her choice.(for instance i over dosed my kids on banannas once, and they all got fed up with them...i loved their convienence factor etc)

in a cheerful (and no nonsense type of voice) say, today we are having (for e.g) spag bol, you can choose what bit you want to try.

dont respond to any form of arguement, or whinging, dont show any concern, and carry on .... you can go over the top in your enjoyment of the meal as well...oh, and eat your fruit, like soft fruit for snacks and really express your enjoyment. (you cant go too over the top with a 2 yr old in this department, got to get her thinking that new food is fun!)

you can also praise in a big posistive way any food that she tries for the first time.even if she then refuses to eat it, if she has made a opinon that it is nasty, thats fair enough.
try that food again in two /three weeks.

keep food colourful, bright and cheerful.

cook food together, get her to break up the spaghettii for you etc, anyway to get her to handle food , that she has no presure to eat, but is 'helping' you to create.

make sure that the nursery staff are not offering the yogurt too quickly, as they know that she doenst try things.....make sure she has the chance to watch everyone else tucking in, and thinks about trying a food first.

ask them about how food is set in their currculum, either in craft activities or cookery, and how food is talked about in the nursery.
do the children help prepare the snack?
do they have fruit? do they wash the fruit, hand it out , share it? etc etc.

so , in short , in my waffle like way, tackle this issue from different angles, not just you standing over her trying to beg her to eat something new.

good luck.

my spelling is dreadful, but am sitting here with a really high temp and feeling more than pants........so hope you understand what i am saying.........

My top tip for giving fruit to a fusspot toddler is to make ice lollies (you can get moulds from the supermarkets in the summer) out of blended fruit. Banana, strawberry & yogurt is my DD's favourite. She has tried all sorts of fruits in frozen form that are allegedly "too slimy" at room temperature. And the lollies keep for ages too.

If she needs more calories then what's wrong with offering her some cake or biscuits? Bet she'd eat that!

Thanks for making the effor Bridewolf when you feel so poorly!

Thanks for all the other tips, I'm going to get her to help me cook and she how we get on?? And make the ice lollies they sound yummy x

Will she eat pasta with tomato sauce? If you make your own you can smuggle lots of veg into it (onion, carrot, celery) and blend it smooth. I also add a little sugar and worcester sauce and my DD loves it.
I'd also say to offer your DD small portions so she doesn't feel overfaced and introduce new food slowly and allow her to try really tiny amounts - followed by lots of praise. My DD is a fairly fussy eater and at this age was a bit restricted with her diet but has improved a lot over the last 6 months.
Frozen veg can be a good way of not wasting veg - you only need to cook exactly what you need (I have peas, sweetcorn and broccolli usually in the freezer)
Cooking with kids is often a good start and like bridewolf says, fussy kids often fill up on milk - so maybe offer her water as a drink sometimes too. Also agree with tip to not only offer her things she likes, I'd make a meal with some things she likes plus maybe one new thing to try - but not every time, or you risk meals becoming a battle.
Smoothies also can be a good way of getting some extra fruit in. Does she like banana? Its nice whizzed up in milk - my DD won't drink it, but I like it.
Above all, don't let it get to you or stress you too much.

My problem is slightly different but started very much like yours, and over the years I have tried EVERYTHING to get my DD to eat. Really hope that you manage to sort it before it escalates this far!

She is now 11 and still the fussiest eater I know. Her diet is limited to:

a few different cereals
peanut butter or jam on toast or in sandwich
sausages, in a sandwich or with a little Smash (NOT proper mashed potato though, won't touch that)
garlic bread
egg fried rice
chicken burgers
pasta/spagetti with no sauce
apples
cereal bars (special k or other choc chip ones only) and strawberry nutri grain bar
a few diff flavour crips
and of course she likes chocolate and cakes

I know that this makes me sound like a terrible mum, but I assure you that my son who is 4 eats everything! Loves his fruit and veg, and they have both been brought up with the same foods being put in front of them. I really am at the end of my tether with her, I just don't know what to do!