Does anyone else make TWO meals for their toddler EVERY NIGHT?!?

[PennyBenjamin]

DS is 20 months, and he has always been a picky eater, but I just told myself to relax and he'd come to it eventually. Breathe

But for the last 6 months I have been making two meals for him every night - first there is the meal I would like him to eat (i.e. something the rest of the family eats, something nutritious, tasty, something with meat in it), and then when he's sat in front of that meal for 15 minutes and refused to even taste it, I give him his second meal (scrambled eggs, or plain pasta, or cheese and toast (note: not cheese ON toast, he wont touch that....))

I really try to be relaxed, I do, but some days it just destroys me as I throw another delicious home cooked meal in the bin. How long do I have to do this before he will start eating it? And what age do you think I can say "This is your supper, and if you don't eat it, then there is nothing else"?

let's put it this way - I 've ea ten more 'pasta with cheese' since having kids than in a lifetime before. it's not so much that they eat what we eat, than we eat what they eat. sometimes I cook a different meal foreach of them - rare but fun

Hello again,
Please don't beat yourself up about it, but I know I did with DD, so perhaps it's all part of the process .

Your kids will amaze you - DD didn't eat any veg for months and months, but we had a 'rule' that she tried one mouthful of everything on her plate. Sometimes it came back out again, sometimes not, but she's not nearly 4 and one day I realised there are 7 or 8 veg she eats without a fuss.

It's so hard, but pick a strategy and stick it for your own sanity. Good luck!

My ds was a fussy eater when he was little and I found that buying one of those plates that has separate little compartments for each different food type. I found by completely separating the foods and giving him a little bit of everything then he would eat it. Also if he finished a section of something then I would offer him some more of that particular food. He just seemed intimidated by large portions of food.

He still wont eat anything that he cant tell what it is ie. spag bol, lasagne etc unless he can watch exactly what goes into it. At 9 though that is really helpful as he will happily cut mushrooms and stir dinner.

Just read the OP so far but if you
know he won't eat it, why are you giving it him?

He knows he will get whathe wants so will wait for it.

His plate should have 90% of what he will eat on it. The rest he will maybe eat.

In terms of fussy eating, 6 months is no time at all. I read somewhere that they have to be presented by a new food at least 10 times before they eat it.

You could try getting him to help make smoothies - adding ice cream in makes it feel like a treat

Let him get messy with food and just have a feel of it - he may be worried about textures (I have a DS with sensory issues)

You could bake together and let him see you enjoying licking a bit of the mixture r pinching a bit of whatever it is you are baking with.

Hmmm, I know that short posts aren't ideal for getting the whole story over, but am slightly by lots of these posts. There's a really interesting split between the "Don't give him anything else, he knows to wait it out" brigade, and the "Relax, just give him what he wants" brigade. I guess the only common ground is that both sides think I'm nuts

"If you know he doesn't like it, why do you give it to him?" - erm, well, because I don't want him to only eat 8 foods? He doesn't eat any meat at all, and I guess I think it would be healthier if he did? I had to present him with eggs about 40 times before he put it in his mouth, and now he loves them, so I'm following that approach, it's just disheartening, that's all.

"Let him watch you cook/play with his food/put lots of different things in front of him/etc." - I do all of these things - by the end of the day he looks like he's been hosed down with food, but he still hasn't eaten it! And when I put lots of things in front of him, he just eats the things he knows, and leaves the rest.

"Why do you want your toddler to be like everyone else? Accept that this is how he is" - hmmm, I find this pretty patronizing. Of course I don't want him to be like every other toddler, of course I know he is a totally special individual little boy. I just meant that I want him to eat healthily, like other toddlers I know.

I guess my real question isn't "How do I make my toddler eat everything I want him to, NOW?" It's more "What strategies can I put in place now that will foster a healthy diet down the line?"

Sorry for a short post, PennyBenjamin, and for probably going over ground you have already covered, but what have you done about exercise and television? WRT television, I have been cutting it down (warning before a programme ends, then turning it off immediately it ends - the magic of the controller!) which has led to my DC being more focussed on meals. With regard to exercise, we sometimes go to the park twice a day, rain or shine. Waterproof trousers and (cheapie Sainsbury's) wellies are very good equipment for this!

Sorry if the suggestion is redundant; it just didn't seem as though the exercise aspect in particular had been covered.

Thanks WV, those are very good points which we haven't talked about. Unfortunately the only TV he watches is a bit after supper, before bed. And in terms of exercise, we do Tumbletots, Gymboree, swimming, nursery twice a week, and spend most afternoons at the playground. I hope that is enough exercise, because I'm not sure we can fit much more in!

Look, I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me "If you do these things, he will eventually have a healthy and varied diet", but I'm not sure anyone can actually do that for me, so I'll just plough on.

I do appreciate everyone's advice though

"Unfortunately the only TV he watches is a bit after supper, before bed."

Not "unfortunately"! It's probably better for his concentration on food if he's not watching anything!

Anyway, it sounds as though you are taking care of the hunger side of the equation very nicely. That plus any growth spurts should give you at least a few spells of wild appetite! I'm sure they don't have consistent appetites when they are small, so the best we can hope for is that they stretch their stomachs while in an "eating phase" and then continue with it, sort of as a habit (the soprt of thing you are discussing).