MIL's not good food suggestions

[MumtoEliane]

Hi all, I'd like to know how would yoy deal with this situation:

DD is 6 monts, at the moment bottle fed, and having fruit a vegetables, pureed, mashed, or as finger foods. Well, my mothe rin law comes up with all this not very healthy suggestions. At easter she almost bought a whole easter egg for DD but then said she "might be a bit young?" thank god.

She has said lots of things like, dunk the dummy in sugar or Ribena so she keeps it in her mouth, put weetabix in the bottle, that type. Which I can easily ignore as she is not there when I don't do it.

But as DD eats more and more things and we get together every sunday, this is getting a bit more difficult.

Today she came for lunch and DD was having boiled carrot sticks and I was having a piece of cake. She said "Sure she could manage a bit of that cake?" I just smiled at her, but felt uncomfortable just ignoring the suggestion. She had 5 children and I feel bad telling her "she is a bit young" how can I tell her that brought up 5? or say that HV doesn't advise as she knows well that I ignore the HV for many other things...

I am dreading the day she will want to give her sweets or something and I have to tell her not to. Like next year at easter, as I think it will still be too early for DD to have chocolate.

I am sure this is not an isolated case, what did you do?

Say thank you, smile sweetly and "save it for later" unless you detest her then tell her to poke her outdated parenting.

I don't detest her in fact she is really good, she always says she doesn't want to interfere and is us who normally go to hers or ask her for things. And she is delighted to help. Thats why I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.

But I will have to try the "save it for later", although today that wasn't applicable and i felt awful just ignoring her.

If it were me I'd say 'we've decided not to let the baby have when she's still so young'

My DH tried to feed a friend's baby with carrot cake once and they had no problem at all telling him that they had made a decision to not give her sugary things. No one was offended and they made the point that she's their baby and so what they say goes.

Well yes, I don't think I would have a problem eating her chocolate!

I am just very very weary of junk food, or sweets DP and all his siblings had quite bad teeth (see above for the reason). And I strongly believe in delaying feeding children stuff that they don't need. I mean, I won't refuse her sweets and other treats if she'd like some, but I don't want to give them to her now, that she is just as happy eating a piece of carrot.

Ok, let her see that is a decision of mine, not implying that she did things wrong.

Thanks! will remember those things

I once bought some crisps for me and another bag for my friends childern 2 and 3, because other times they polish my crisps and I get left with nothing (and I was pregnant!). When the other mum was going to ive crips to the other child hi mum say "no thank, DS doesn't want any" and he didn't, he was oblivious, happily playing something. Then he had chunks of apple in the car as a snack. I thought this was quite good and his mum told me that then he would happily eat all his dinner at home.

When my ds were babies i was an absolute fanatic about what they ate.

I shocked the hell out of myself offering a 7 month old baby a teeny pice of cheesecake, we were at a lunch and i was on one side of said baby's highchair, she was very interested in my food and I sort of automatically gave her a tiny pice of the cheesecake topping (clean spoon) She munched it down and smacked her hands down for more.

At that point i realised that i shouldn't really do that and aplogised profusely to her parents. luckily they were happy about it and i have since spoken to her mum about it, she was fine. It's a bit of a mumsy instinct but if anyone had tried that with my babies i might have flown off at them.

Not sure what my point is except it may not have been meant maliciously or to undermine you.

apologies for the spelling!

I found it helpful to just say baby will get it's first taste of cake/treat on it's first birthday to make it more 'special,

That seemed good enough for g
randparents, aunties etc

My 10 month-old loves cheesecake

I think politely saying that you don't give x,y,z to your baby yet due to concerns re dental health etc is fine. I was quite pfb re DS1, although have relaxed slightly.

However, when an AP suggested she would put a bit of sugar in DS2's bottle (then 1.5), I put her straight without any tact!

We now have a new AP and children are 3 and 5, but I am having to be pretty specific re food as she has some very different ideas to me!

I'd stop being so precious and let her have a bit of cake or an Easter egg.

We are a family with healthy eating habits, there is normaly no cake or chocolate in our house, its only MIL who wants to give it to her. I don't want to create a childhood trauma, she will have it if she wants, but don't see why we should give her sweets when she doesn't even know what they are.

Anyway, thanks for very helpful ideas here

I say 'Oh I don't see the point in giving her things like that until she knows she wants it!' or something. Trying to show that you are both realistic and DOING IT YOUR OWN WAY thank you very much.

Cake may be fine but if any of mine eat cake, then they don't eat dinner so I have to limit it even for the older ones.

'But don't be under an illusion that 'cake' is 'bad' food.' - at six months? Seriosuly you don;t think cake is bad food at 6 months?

(hopeing I have misinterpreted that)

DS had some fruitcake from his 'naming day' his first week of weaning.
Cake is one of the major food groups.

ladyitr - so glad I interpreted that wrong!

Cake certainly better for your teeth than coke or sweets.

Cake is full of sugar! I deffinitely regard it as a sweet.

And far too sweet for a 6 month old. And too grasy with all that butter.

Don't get me wrong, she will have anormal balanced diet including cakes on special occasions, not as a rule. But not at 6 months!

greasy

you do have to watch people though. I caught my stepfather trying to shove raw meringue into my 4 month old's mouth once.