Help! My children won't drink milk

[Sibongile]

My oldest daughter point blank stopped breastfeeding aged 5 months, and getting any milk into her after that has been a struggle. Although she did drink formula from a bottle until about 18 months. (She's now 6, and still despises milk.)

My youngest daughter point blank stopped breastfeeding aged 7 months. She is turning 1 year old this week, and absolutely refuses to drink ANY milk. I have tried cow milk, various formulas, and soy formula. I have tried different bottles, teats & cups. I just cannot get milk into her. I used to be able to trick her by giving her a bottle at night when she's sleepy, but now she even spits that out.

Problem is, the baby has stopped gaining weight, and the older one is very small for her age. I try to get yoghurt, cheese, creamy foods into them, but what they really need is a great big glass of milk every day. (They do love meat, and eat a fair amount of it.)

What do I do? Any help or experience with this would be much appreciated.

My 18mth old doesnt like milk on its own either. So i either mix lots in with his breakfast (porridge, weetabix etc) or make him a beaker of tea, made mostly of milk, which he happily downs.

hth

Lots of yogurt and cheese - that is what my health visitor recommends. I personally don't like milk at all myself and so just eat yogurts.

my son stopped drinking milk when he went from bottles to cups/beakers.

For a while he would take warm milk froma cup with a straw then the novelty wore off. Just couldnt get him to take it other than going back to bottles! Also wont eat cereal with milk on it! and hates cheese!

So what I do now is:

• Make pancakes using lots of milk
• Hot chocolate or milk shake warmed up - but again this is hit and miss with him
• Give him a yoghart as part of brekkie and in the evening - not the fully of sugar types but organic and full fat
• Lots of fish and salmon and as he;s a good vegetables eater lots of green leafy veg that contain calcium.

Thanks for all the advice!

@MelT76 Tea! That's a good one. Haven't tried that yet.

@MunchMummy How much yoghurt / cheese do they need to eat to get the right amount? Because according to the formula tins, they need to drink about a litre of milk every day.

@fritata I'm also disguising milk in just about everything I make: mashed potatoes with cream, cauliflower with loads of cheese sauce, lasagne, Johanssens Temptation... I have become quite good at hiding milk in other dishes! I'm just not sure they're getting enough calcium this way. Since they're not growing.

I occasionally post recipes on my blog, if you're interested - www.feedmemama.com

is it possible that your DDs are lactose intolerant to some degree, and that's why they won't drink milk? i know this was the case with me - i refused to drink cows milk at all as a baby/child, apparently i would get very upset if it was offered. now, as an adult, it's clear to me that i have some degree of lactose intolerance (milk on its own is a no-no, makes me v bloated & gives me diarrhoea , a dash in a cup of tea is fine, also have to be v careful with anything containing cream, butter or yoghurt, cheese is ok though).

the suggestions you've had already as to how to get more calcium/protein into your DDs without giving them a glass of milk seem sensible. my own instinct would be to say that making it a battle & finding ways to try and trick your DDs into having milk probably won't help, but my own DC is only 6mo & still about 90% breastfed so feel free to ignore me!

they need a lot less milk from the age of 1 year - the equivalent of 350mls (approx 12 oz) of milk although not all (or any) needs to be in drink form as they can get the same nutrients from other foods.

My DS stopped breastfeeding at 8.5months and has had no milk (formula or cow) until now and he has turned one. Now he will have a few sips of cows milk before bed, thats in the last two days - he seems pretty big to me despite this, and has nearly 16 teeth! DD breastfed until nearly 2 and has never drunk milk, she is not keen on yoghurts or much cheese either, plus refuses anything in a cheese sauce.

I really don't think they need as much calcium as you think. 2/3 portions of dairy a day.

Children do stop growing often at all at around one so I wouldn't worry.

Calcium deficiency is very rare - there is calcium in bread, salmon all sorts. A balanced diet will provide enough.

This is a wonderful thread. I have been so worried as both of mine hate cows milk but will eat it in cereal. They love yoghurt, ricotta and cheddar and have loads of them but I was still worrying as there are all these directives out there that say children of x age should drink x amount of milk. And yet calcium is in so many things!

My 14 mo DS is eating 2 fruit yoghurts a day and has milk in his porridge but I still worry because it isn't dirty great bottles of milk. Silly isn't it?!

The myth about milk is our parents generation - the milk marketing board pushed milk as farmers were producing too much of the stuff in the 70s (yoghurts really started being marketed then) plus formula companies obviously like us to believe that unless they drinks pints of the stuff our toddlers will suffer from calcium and iron deficiency.

Reassuring to hear there are others out there too. My 16 month old won't drink any milk either, not from a bottle or a cup or a straw or even on a spoon. Pushes it away and if by chance i trick him and get him to drink some he spits it out. Would never take a bottle even at a couple of months old but it wasn't really a problem till he went off to nursery at 9 months. Since then he has been steadily dropping down the growth chart and is under the 2nd percentile now (for height and weight). Started off on the 50th for the first few months and me and DH are both pretty tall so he's not really meant to be small. Have tried pretty much all the suggestions above to little avail and am getting really quite stressed now as he just isn't growing - so was really interested to read what you say Cranbury, do many chidren really stop growing round this age? How do you know this? if you don't mind me asking

Wendell look at the growth charts in the red book- they show a big reduction in growth rate after they are one, breastfed babies often drop at around 8/9month stage. Although I have always had quite large babies, despite being very short and tiny myself. I'm sorry I would be worried about having a 2nd percentile child however, I don't think that can be due to lack of milk as that wouldn't impact weight that much. I would not worry about milk at 16 months but general calorie intake. Is he not eating at nursery/at weekends - i know what it is like to have a child that doesnt' eat. I found the book "Meals without Tears" very good.

At 16 months old, Wendell, milk shouldn't really come into it in terms of daily calorie requirements. He should be getting all the calories he needs to grow from his food, surely? It's not like beore weaning when milk is the ONLY source of calories.

My two don't drink milk any more either. Stopped as young toddlers and won't have it on cereal. They will eat yogurt and cheese though but I worry about whether it's enough in terms of calcium intake.

I remember infants school being a nightmare for me cos it was the era of free school milk and I HATED the taste of milk on its own - made me feel so sick, especially during the summer when the cartons got a bit warm. I remember the teachers trying to force me to drink it and it honestly nearly made me school-phobic - was so upsetting. Eventually my mum realised and wrote the school a letter asking them to excuse me from drinking the milk. We had cereal with milk on but she tried to get more milk into us by giving us lots of tinned rice pudding, ice cream and even Angel Delight (something which is probably not great in terms of what's in the packet but it's got a tonne of milk in).

Wendell, I think with calorie intake in children your age you have to be careful not to pay too much attention to the healthy eating advice given out to much older children - this government seems obsessed with obesity. DS1 is naturally skinny - if I made him have ONLY fruit or yoghurt for instance as dessert every day he would be even skinnier. He has cakes and biscuits too. He needs the calories. Sometimes government do-gooders forget that children come in all shapes and sizes.

Really they don't NEED to drink milk - humans are the only mammals that continue to drink milk once past newborn. Your kiddies can get alll the calcium from other sources and as far as you say they are not putting on weight, other foods can provide nutrtion to allow the body to grow - it doesnt have to come from fat in milk.
You are right to use milk in recipes, thats always a great ingredient; but don't worry about having them drink a big glassful - it makes no difference!

I haven't drunk cold milk since I was about 18 months, still have it in hot cohocalte but that is it.

Thanks everyone who's posted. You're right Cranbury the lack of milk is not the whole story, he has been poorly quite a lot and that's when I think the weight has dropped off him and then he has failed to put it back on. When he's well he has a pretty good appetite but then he'll have another week off his food with another baby bug and we get no further along. And all the doctors HV and dietician we've seen all seem to think that the solution is in getting him to drink/eat more milk - now the high energy SMA, but I just can't seem to get anywhere with this.

Wendell I think the high energy SMA is the wrong direction for a child his age. Ditch the milk, go high fat foods - yoghurt, butter, cream instead of milk in mashed potatoes, avocados (never had a child who likes them), cakes, biscuits - make sure he is not filling up on empty caloric foods of rice cakes, fruit and veg. He will catch up if its due to illness. Leave food lying around the house - snacks on tables that he can eat (cheerios, mini sandwiches, babybels). Lots of toddlers seem to lose their appetite if sat down in front of food and happier grazing. Juice has quite alot of calories too (served with meals not that bad for teeth) Order Meals without Tears from Amazon - I would send you mine, but I still find it useful beyound toddlerdom.

my ds gave up drinking milk when he finished with bottles about 2yrs.
He did have porridge and weetabix with milk for a while but soon gave that up.
Melted cheese and pancakes are the only way I can get dairy into him.
He saw a dietician because of his allergies and she wasn't worried about the lack of milk and advised lots of green veg, ,cheese 3xweek and tap water which contains calcium. I also bought tropicana orange juice with added calcium , but hinestly she wasn't phased at all about it which was reassuring.
I think he is naturally averse to milk because it makes his eczema worse.

Btw he is 7 now and on 50th percentile and doing fine

Thanks Cranbury. I've ordered the book. What you have said is exactly what my instinct says, but the dietician is quite adamant that it is better to go with the milk, she insists I should put the SMA in his porridge rather than the double cream that I've been putting in (but he prefers the cream so am sticking with it). Fortunately he's got a really sweet tooth so will happily stuff cakes and chocolate in his mouth all day long given half a chance. I guess I'll keep scouring the internet for more super-fat recipes (and try not too eat too many of his left overs myself!) Just got some cashew-nut spread, no idea what to do with it, but it's got to be good for him.

put cashew-nut spread on oat cakes (although tastes like cardboard to me), rice cakes, or probably toast would be the biggest hit here.

Hopefully now the winter is nearly over your son she be a bit healthier - mine have also been sick alot during the winter.

I know what its like to get alot of different advice, my DD didn't really eat much solids until she was around 2 (she was breastfed) however she never got thin (but I did with the worry!). He will get there in the end. Good luck.