What do you do if your DC refuse their dinner? Give them something else or send to bed hungry?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

DS is 2.5 years and would eat pasta, toast and cereal til it came out his ears. He has been a great eater before and usually has what we have for dinner but lately he has been refusing his dinner and not even trying it. The other night I gave him Weetabix instead but then I think that will just reinforce his idea that he can have what he wants for dinner.

Tonight we were having meatballs and rice and he point blank refused to try it, even though he does love mince and rice. So I said that he wasn't having anything else. He cried when he couldn't have a biscuit afterwards when we were having one as I said no dinner = no biscuit.

He will have gone to bed hungry but I feel bad. Not sure if he's too young for me to not give an alternative meal? But then again, he does understand the reasoning.

Help?

i would just give him some toast. I think that 2.5 is too young to not give anything.

My dcs are older now, but if we are having a family meal that dd(4) doesn't like such as vegetable stir fry, I always make sure I serve something she does like such as rice or bread so she has something to eat.

Did you serve the meatballs on the rice? Maybe next time you could serve the rice in one bowl and the meatballs in the other

I agree with woodchuck, 2.5 is too young to go to bed hungry. I say this because I did this once when my daughter was about 3 I think. She came into our room when she woke up in the morning; white, shaking and on the verge of collapse. I felt bloody awful, and seriously beat myself up about it for a week.

We offered cereal as a "supper" after that episode, just to make sure she had eaten something that would carry her through until morning.

My 3yo DS quite often does this, he's just not particularly bothered about food. My strategies are:

If I know it's something he likes but he is just being stubborn I say "fine, don't eat it", and ignore him, leave his plate on the table and carry on eating and chatting. He usually eats, and the less notice we take of him while he's eating the better.

If it's something new, he must taste a bit, if it's something he doesn't like at all (eg eggs) I let him have an alternative.

If he doesn't eat any of his main course he is still allowed a piece of fruit and/or a yoghurt, but no more than anyone else has.

Sorry, must disagree with majority, especially if it is something that you know they would eat. Once you offer an option they will expect it each time.

Don't make a fuss, just put it down, eat your own, give them a fair time to eat, take away plate after you feel they have had enough time.

I dont think I have ever offered an option unless it is something unusual like mussels (bloomin' buggers eat all of them though).

Sorry, but "shaking and on the verge of collapse" after missing one meal

PrettyFeckinVacant - Thank you for the suspicion, but I don't think you've got any right to put that emoticon on, as what I said was true. She WAS white, shaking and on the verge of collapse. That was an accurate description.

Yes, she missed her dinner. Yes, she was in a terrible state the next morning after a 12 hour sleep and probably 16 hours since her last meal. At 3 that's a long time without food, wouldn't you agree?

At some point, most children around that age will refuse to eat a meal that they have previously eaten, for reasons unknown to us parents!

agree with prettyfeckinvacant and just in case you though he didn't understand, keep his dinner on a plate and offer it everytime he asks for a snack instead

also, warm milk before bed is a good idea, dd always has some whatever shes eaten

My approach is to insist he at least tries what is on his plate. If he tries it then he's allowed a piece of fruit or a yoghurt, and probably some cereal if he wants it. He gets nothing else until bedtime at which point he is allowed bread and butter before he goes to sleep if he complains of being hungry. Under no circumstances will I cook or prepare another meal for him.

Same here - if they don't want it, they don't eat it. They do always get the option of pudding if they don't eat the main course, but nothing exciting - fruit or yoghurt. And milk before bed.

I find mine go through weeks-long phases - weeks of hardly eating any tea, followed by weeks of woofing the lot. It all balances out.

I panic for ages and wonder what else to give them by the time I've done this they have decided it's not poisoned and eaten some!

I wouldn't generally offer any alternatives even dh has to eat what's for dinner or do without! I got a friend who make meal for her ds one for her dd and one gir her dh sod thAt I say

My boy is 16 months and driving me crazy!! It may be a combination of teething and asserting his authority but apart from his porridge with mashed banana every other meal is greeted with a shaking head and "no no no". it seems to be a texture thing although he used to love the casseroles etc. I made for him. Any top finger food tips would be very gratefully received or ways of dealing with him without getting overly stressed, can't cope at the moment.....

I had this too and I just put it down to carbo-loading as all the DC's I know seem to have gone through this phase somewhere between 2.3 and 2.9. I let her have pasta with butter and cheese, cereal, or rice and peas every night if she wanted it. She ate loads of fruit during the day and varied sandwiches for lunch.

After about 6 weeks she just started eating everything we did, just like she had before. And had grown quite a bit! I think the less fuss you make about it the better. You need to do what suits you and your family best. I've found having the weaned baby now eating everything is a great spur to get DD eating everything too.

Good luck and try not to worry.. they don't naturally starve themselves!

DD is 2.6 and if she doesn't have enough to eat in the evening she wakes up at 4am asking for milk, so I have a strong incentive to make sure she is fed (she always has warm milk before bed but that doesn't fill her up in the same way food does). So, if she doesn't eat what I've given her, I'll offer a snack: usually wholemeal toast with peanut butter, or a banana, or some ham and cheese - I've started trying to make sure she gets some protein or complex carbs before bed to stop the night time waking.

bed (after a larger than usual drink of full fat milk)