21 months old and I've dug myself a hole...

[PipRose]

Hello, my DS is 21months old and I've made my life difficult with food. He didn't have any teeth at all until he was 15 months old so I didn't progress his weaning (I know, I know ). He has had lots of teeth through in the last 2 months but he still wont eat anything lumpy (best is the equivalent of the 7 month jars).

Its not a taste thing (he'll eat almost anything blended) or a physical thing as he'll eat toast and biscuits etc, but he wont hold anything wet or damp (such as pieces of fruit and veg) and wont eat new finger foods (such as fish fingers, potato wedges). He wont eat toast if I spread anything on it (like houmous) or sandwiches.

Is there any stage where I should try the "If your not eating that your not eating anything" approach or should I just keep feeding what works? Feeling quite pressured by family and friends to get him eating what we're eating but he just gets upset if I try and give him something new and then wont eat anything at all! I'm willing to do anything to undo the problems I've caused but not sure how to play it. Help!

just add new foods at lunch time with normal lunch and make it a game try it and then yummy you try and then just walk away and make no issue of food

do this every day adding small pieces of new foods and making no issue of it still bit to young to do the going without just keep adding to normal food

normal being usual food lol

dont put too much food on a plate either as can very over whelming just put small pieces of new food on plate very small pieces and then get to eat them you can build them up the more he eats

also portion size is 2 tbsp per portion for 2 yr old so 6 tbsp is adequate amount of food

Thanks bubbla,

very occasionally if I leave finger foods on the coffee table while he's playing he might try it. Shall I carry on doing this or just try at meal times?
Just one other thing! I was tryig to start eating meals with him (ie sitting at the table together) but I actually think it makes him feel pressured rather than kept company, should I persevere?

My dd's were a bit like this with lumpy food, and I either pureed up what we were eating (bit gross, but they ate it!) or put lumpier stuff on the side of the plate with the pureed stuff and watched out of the corner of my eye!!

Don't worry- dd1 was the worst culprit and now she is 6yo her favourite foods are spare ribs, steak and squid (of all things!)

I do sit with my kids while they eat, but I usually finish first and lkeave to clear the pots etc- I find they eat faster/ better when I am not there to natter too! But I do like the idea of us around the table chatting, so try to get in a bit of both, iyswim!

Love the success stories of fussy eaters turned around! Thanks Jooly, it can be hard not to just focus on the right now.

My motherhood mantra is becoming "everything's a phase". I just have to keep remembering it - and keep working! I'll try having some lumpier stuff available.

my ds was one that needed to be left to eat he would try stuff as long as i wasn't hovering anxiously lol so i would just go off and do what needs to be done go in and praise good eating and walk away

leave on table in day that will be fine and just add small amount of new things at lunch time i say lunch as my mum warned me and said if something doesn't agree you end up all night with belly aches so she said to try new foods at lunch times until you know ok

The lunchtime thing sounds good, plus if he wont eat it at least I wont be worried about him going to bed hungry! Is it awful if the telly is on when he's eating? He seems to eat more and with less fuss if he's distracted that way.

I know it's not the done thing, but if the Tv helps distract him enough to eat his food, go for it!! I did find it helped dd1- took the pressure off mealtimes

We have picnics for DTs (25 mths)with the telly on sometimes at lunch. Just a few bits and bobs, fruit & veg, pasta, crackers, cheese cubes etc and we eat a sandwich too. Leave them to it and if they wander around - so what if it goes in. And it will invariably go in too and they will also ponce some of our food. Evening we have a family meal and whoever finishes 1st does the washing up so that DT2 isn't being nagged all the time. He is by far the worst.

i had tv on we lived in flat still do so we have no dining area so tv is on and he eats so well and has done for years now my ds is now nearly 5 but when younger and when ill will only eat butter bread

i just kept offering the foods at lunch left him to it he has always eaten better although now his comfortable with food we can eat as a family i still see he eats more when alone though

play games with new foods carpet picnic make face shapes with the food and then make a game with eating eating his nose or his ear but only use really small pieces of different foods so its more taste then a bite and a meal just to get used to different textures and tastes you can then see what he enjoys more and add more next time until well established with new foods

Hi Piprose this is my first ever go on mumsnet..looked for advice and my search led me to your message! my son is 2 in may and he is still on complete puree for his meals (the 4 month jars) he will not eat lumpy food or ...like your son...hold anything wet or soft. His finger food is made up of hard dry food such as rice cakes, twiglets, baby biscuits, cereal bars etc but he will not try anything else. Went to the HV yesterday and all i got was the suggestion i put him in nursery so he could watch other children eat(?!!) I asked to be referred and i have been. Saw your query and wondered if you had made progress at all? if so any tips?! can i add you should no way feel like you did anything wrong! h is my second child and this problem has come from no where so no more blame! Good to know i am not alone anyway! erc