There goes another meal into the composter

[JamInMyWellies]

Any advice. Am rapidly reaching the end of my thether with DS1 2.8yrs.

He used to eat anything I gave him but in the last yr has become extremely fussy.

Unless its pasta, PB&J sandwiches or ham sandwiches. Or fish fingers and waffles he refuses to eat.

He used to eat very well. We did BLW and he ate a good mix of everything even fairly unusual flavours.

He will still eat fruit and some vegetables. Oh and of course any variation of biscuit, cake, crisps, chocolate, sweets.

I am almost at the point of giving him his food and if he refuses to eat it just let him go hungry. Only problem there is his behaviour, mood etc deteriates rapidly when he is hungry and I dont know if I can face the stress of him whining all day long. As he is fairly high maintenace at best. DS2 14mths eats like a horse very similar to the way his big brother used to be. Really dont want DS2 picking up the no eating either as its bound to rub off on him.

What would you do, let him go hungry or give in?

Apologies for the rambling.

What do you give at the moment if he refuses what you have prepared?

Are you giving him a choice? Once he's chosen something I would be tempted to make that. Perhaps if he feels included he is more likely to eat it.

Can you add hidden veg to pasta? make a sauce surrepticiously with a load of veg and then puree it?

Providing he's getting all the nutrients i wouldn't mind too much to be honest.

I wouldn't throw food away though - eat it yourself, give it to dd, etc.

I am afraid I let them go hungry - once you start giving a 2nd choice then they will expect it.

If you stick to it I dont think it will happen very often - once he knows you wont give in.

Personally I think you should give in. I have DS (3.11) and DD (1.11). Both ate absolutely anything as babies and very young toddlers. DS then became very fussy and the situation deteriorated and I became grateful for any food that got into him (this is the current situation, although there have been marginal improvements recently). It is not necessarily the case that your younger one will pick this up. My DD is nearly 2 and will still eat anything (DS was extremely fussy by this stage). Personally I would give in to him and feed him the food he will eat. You can reassess the situation constantly, but I believe (have read on MN) that it is common for fussy eaters to grow out of it around age 4. DS has improved recently and I'm going to try and build on it. I wouldn't get into food battles with a 2.8yo.

i have one fussy eater and agree it is a pain, but i just keep feeding him on whatever it is he is into. i.e fish fingers, baked beans, nuggets, slices of ham. whatever. I cannot be botherred to have mealtimes as a battleground. I want to enjoy a family meal and it just doesnt work if i am fighting over what I would likds ds to eat.

Maybe not the best way forward, but slowly he has added new foods to his diet, at his request.

Do you get him involved with cooking / prep?

Yep he gets very involved in all the prep, chopping veg, stirring the pot, making his own lovely version of meatballs etc. Always saying yummy delicious until its put on his plate.

Fairly even split then on what to do.

I do quite often let him have pudding or make him a sandwich later.

No, you need to be firm. He'll have you running rings round him til he's 18 otherwise!

Put it on his plate, don't fuss...... If he does eat then great, reward him afterwards. But if not, just remove his plate and tell him he's done. And no reward!!

You have the answer right there before you.
Your DS2 can be your secret weapon.
One Meal ( chosen for its temptingness)for each child. Either eat it or lose it.When DS2 has finished eating whatever is still on DS1s plate is fair game for DS2.
Voila.
Oh and no substitute meal offered. Then ,if whinging, DS1 can be put into his room for a sleep as he's obviously tired.
Doesnt take long and you will be back to normal eating patterns -with no whinging.

Tried and tested with own children.

Sr- like your style!

Do you really throw food away? Why not just put it in a container in the fridge and heat it up tomorrow?

MadamDeathStare - pureed liver etc? < gag >

DD 3.5 can be fussy. If she chooses not to eat a meal, its taken away and play resumes. She then eats double at the next meal. No battles, can't be bothered.

Taffeta I wish I could do that tonights diner was last nights diner heated through.

The boy is stubborn!

Srstan I like it will give it a bash over the next few days.

Oh and when I say I give in and he gets pudding I mean fruit, yoghurt, jelly. It's not spotted dick and custard.

Taffeta I wish I could do that.

Tonights dinner was last nights dinner heated through. Not really sure how many times I could reheat it.

The boy is stubborn!

Srstan I like it will give it a bash over the next few days.

Oh and when I say I give in and he gets pudding I mean fruit, yoghurt, jelly. It's not spotted dick and custard.

I am lucky in that DH is a goat ( not literally ). He is leftover king. Anyone would think he was a war baby.

I don't serve up a previous meal. DH eats it when he gets in and wants a snack.

I agree with Threeblondboys and Taffetacat - stick your ground quietly but firmly otherwise in 3 years time you will be writing a thread on here complaining about making 4 different meals for each member of your household.

My kids are allowed to not finish one thing on the plate or there's no pudding.

And I always make a favourite pudding if its an iffy main course!

sorry, thread hijack... SrStanisclaus, your name wouldn't have anything to do with a junior school in East London would it?

JamInMyWellies... best of luck! I opened your thread because I can see my 19mth is going the same way

DD1 and DD2 both followed exactly this pattern. Ate everything and anything when babies then got to 2 and suddenly mealtimes were horrendous.

I have read here and elsewhere every approach under the sun.

The consensus here always seemed to be give food, if not eaten after reasonable amount of time take food away. Don't offer alternative. Allow reasonable snacks between ie fruit etc.

With DD1 I tried to do this. I also tried various other methods not generally approved of here including sticker charts, nagging and (rarely, luckily) breaking down in tears. On one memorable occasion yelled "JUST EAT THE FISH" (not recommended).

Read an article with the famous child psychologist Tanya Byron at the weekend who contrary to everything I'd read before said if children are refusing healthy food like leafy green veg you should give it to them first and insist they eat it before they get anything else. Seems a bit of a more hardline approach than I thought was the norm now?

Anyway long post but DD1 is now 6 and much much better. Still not likely to tuck in to lobster thermmidore and steamed spinach but eats reasonably wide variety of stuff and tried chicken korma the other day. And some spring greens. Not sure if her improvement is as a result of anything I did or (as is more likely) in spite of.

DD2 still not great (3 and a half) but not dreadful either. Tend to go for the ignoring approach now due to lax parenting and 8 month old DS1.

Good luck

Hijack reply

Miamla yes Junior School but not E London. Maybe she got around...???