"No like!!!" Fussy eater!

[LissaQ]

My DS is just over 2yrs and point blank refuses to try anything resembling a vegetable or salad - if he sees anything unusual on his plate he just says "no like" and pushes it away. I've tried disguising it (he'll eat veg soup!) but I'm afraid smiley faces don't make either of us happy! I work 3 days a week, nursery always report that he's eaten well but if I give him something he has had thirds of at nursery (e.g. sausages) he behaves as if I'm trying to poison him! I realise when he's 18 he'll be driving me nuts cleaning out the fridge but how am I going to cope for the next 16 yrs!!!! I should also say he is hale, hearty, 96 cm tall and just over 3 stone so hardly fading away!!! Does this stage pass?

My DS is just over 2yrs and point blank refuses to try anything resembling a vegetable or salad - if he sees anything unusual on his plate he just says "no like" and pushes it away. I've tried disguising it (he'll eat veg soup!) but I'm afraid smiley faces don't make either of us happy! I work 3 days a week, nursery always report that he's eaten well but if I give him something he has had thirds of at nursery (e.g. sausages) he behaves as if I'm trying to poison him! I realise when he's 18 he'll be driving me nuts cleaning out the fridge but how am I going to cope for the next 16 yrs!!!! I should also say he is hale, hearty, 96 cm tall and just over 3 stone so hardly fading away!!! Does this stage pass?

Yep, and as he's so healthy IME the best thing to do is take no notice of what he's doing and particularly don't go down the road of offering numerous alternatives or affering less healthy options just so he's eaten something. i have mentioned elsewhere that i am a reformed (ish) picky eater and this is a subject I feel strongly about.

DD went through a very brief phase of this but once she realised I really didn't care she went back to her usual self. She eats a brilliant variety of food (including stuff I won't touch, like squid) and is a nicely rounded (physically!) toddler.

They really won't starve themselves at this age and it really can be a control thing for them. We did find that eating with DD, especially eating the same food as she was rejecting helped. We also kept her at the table until we had finished so on those occasions when "not like it" really meant "I want to carry on playing with my lego" she realised that it wasn't going to work.

With new foods I put them on her plate and if she doesn't try them herself will make some comment about "mm, this okra is delicious, do you want some?" and feed it to her. If she rejects it I make no comment and put it on her plate the next time we have it.

Sorry, this is very long but hope it helps!

He sounds fine. Don't stress. Just keep offering, let him choose sometimes and don't worry if it's not eaten. The birds in my garden do very well with old sandwiches and bits of cheese etc! My ds doesn't much care for veg unless it's frozen country veg in cheese sauce, which he loves, or in shepherds pie or lasagne. But he eats a lot of fruit, so I think it's OK. he sounds a splendid lad, though. very impressive!

I's a "control" thing! Both my dds did this and it does pass, but it is frustrating. Can you put veg in pasta sauces? Or putting fruit with ice cream got my dds going on fruit. Now they know they have fruit/yoghurt first.Then maybe "pud". Also I juice carrots and add that to their orange juice. Try not to worry, HTH!

My dd eats like a small horse at childminder - where there are other kids - and frequently picks at her food at home (although bizarrely she will eat fruit/veg); and, like you, it bugs me - but I'm sure I too just need to chill out about it more. Don't worry.

Nigella L suggests buying a bag of little frozen spinach balls (you can get organic ones, they're in our local Tesco so must be pretty widespread) and putting one disc into a sauce or suchlike...

Am going through the same thing as you LissaQ, but my ds is older 3.5 years. As a baby he was a brill eater then around 18 months he began to make his own mind up as to whether he wanted to eat that piece of fruit or veg on his plate. It is frustrating as there has been no let up with him since he was 18 months. I still put peas, carrots cabbage, strawberries on his plate but it gets picked up and placed on the end of his table. I hope he will improve when he starts school when he sees other children eating. Trying to get him to eat a cheese or ham sandwich is a complete nightmare, he will only eat marmalade sandwiches, to be honest I have lost it at times with the pure frustration and I will shout, but he will be a cool customer and still refuse to eat it. People say leave him he will eat when he is hungry but I think he will go all day without food if I let him. He does eat breakfast though which is the most important meal for him and he will eat the odd apple and banana. The thing I find most difficult is getting him to try anything new, he tells me he doesn't like it before he has tried it and god forbid if I persuade him to try it it comes out of his mouth before it has even been chewed.
Sorry to waffle but any suggestions anyone!

My DD is 17 months and has always been a fussy eater. But just lately has got worse and wont even touch the food she used to love. The last straw came when she refused fromage frais.
At the moment her diet consists of 1 slice of toast a day,a bit of chocolate, and maybe some egg custard if i am lucky. This has been going on for weeks now with no let up. Surprisingling she has alot of energy, so my hubby says not to worry.
She is not very good with finger food, and will not let me feed her unless it is dessert.
my worry is that she is not getting enough vitamins in her diet.
Has anyone got any tips, as I am running out of ideas, and getting desperate!

Thank you - he may not be eating any better but I don't feel quite so alone anymore! Really appreciate all the ideas and it is just nice to know DS isn't the only one. Am now practising chilling out - and smuggling things into honey sandwiches - which he does like! We're off to France on Saturday for a week, so heaven knows what he'll eat there - but I am taking weetabix in my suitcase! Wish me luck.

Honey sandwiches are fab! Can I recommend using wholemeal bread and cream cheese instead of butter - bit of protein, a, d & b vitamins and very tasty.

I put veg in omelettes and also risotto, adding a bit of cheese so it disguises the taste (and it's more nutricious), other than that, the oly veg dd will eat it's cherry tomatoes.

Sometimes fruit with icecream works, or a fruit salad with a bit of sugar and freshly squashed orange juice, but recently she's started to try and separate the icecream from the fruit!!!

Like your children she eats brilliantly at nursery of course!!!

Starofleo I wouldn't give him chocolate or custard to make, with dd I've noticed if she goes without eating one meal, she'll eat more at the next, so I try (hard) not to too get too stressed about it, but no matter how terrible her tantrums may be (and the are) I refuse to give her any kind os sweets instead of a meal. That's law for me, if she's eaten her dinner she can have all the icecream she wants, but if she's not hungry for dinner, she's not hungry for icecream.

I occasionally give her vitamin drops just to make sure she gets enough.

I think it's just another way toddlers have to asse their independence and the urge to go and play is an important factor too (esp. with DD). So I suffer in silence (when I manage) and hope it will go away (though I'm abit worried by the fact that moosh's ds is still doing this at 3.5!!!)

Yes me too webmum. The health visitor has said not to worry bout him he has bags of energy and isn't loosing any weight. Have spoken to sister inlaw and she says that her daughter now 12 was like my ds as a baby and toddler and once she started school, she improved almost instantly. So I will take advice disguising things again and continuing to put things on his plate, to see if this will help but I live in hope.

moosh, this sounds like good advice - my ds is five and was a tiny baby and basically wasn't interested in food from the moment he was born until he started school! It was a constant battle and I usually lost - going from hours in the kitchen concocting home -made things he refused to eat to giving up and just sticking to the one or two things he actually liked (fish fingers and pasta and sometimes broccoli)and he has always been full of energy. Things have got a lot better since starting school - now he eats a lot of his packed lunch and then usually a good tea. Strangely enough he always ate remarkably well at nursery even though their food smelt horrible!! I think the best thing to do is keep a diary of what they eat over a week - you'd be surprised how many things you forget about and it all adds up to calories! And also if you make a list of the (few) foods they do like and eat well, stick to those for a while and gradually introduce the odd new thing (or have it on your plate, they'll beg to try it!) Good luck and remember children don't let themselves starve!

I make a tomato, onion, mushroom, carrot, etc etc what evers in the fridge sauce type thing and liquidize it, then I put it on rice, dd and ds usually have thirds but "don't like vegetables"!! As far as meal times are concerned I just put out (and always have) some of everything and just ask them to leave it on the plate if they don't want it. This might have worked because recently dd(3.5) has been eating everything I give her and more when we have roast, only roast mind! If I give her veg with eg pie we are doomed again.
I don't really mind I think its important for them not to know its an issue, they are both active and healthy looking so I go with the flow.

I grate carrot and courgette into meat dishes like lasagne and shepherd's pie. I do it for me as much as ds, as I am not keen on vegetables, and you can't even see them this way, let alone taste them!

Ds has porridge with a variety of fruits in it. I cook them in some water, blend them in the whizzer, and then cook the porridge in the fruit cooking water, along with some milk and the fruit. It is usually hit and miss whether he will eat it, but I find that he does most of the time. At least if he has had this, I know that he has had about 3 portions of fruit that day, so I worry less about the rest of the day.

Hi there. I just thought I would write to tell you that you are definitely not alone and I can sympathise with everything you have said. My youngest boy (2.5) is exactly the same. You are lucky if he eats his breakfast without a couk (weetabix) and if he eats 1/2 of his lunch and then a 1/3rd of his supper. Honestly, its like a battlefield here sometimes and I feel that "is it only me" and what did I do wrong as I breastfed him for 9 weeks then he went on to bottles and was OK but weaning him was brill and he ate athing and everything but when he got to finger foods, that was it. No more sauces, spaghetti, runny things, etc., just pure finger foods that he can pick up. The best thing that I have ever done was speak to a doctor who was a mum and said give him full fat yoghurts if he does not eat his meals and he will grow out of it as its "only a phase". Yes, thats true, and I believe her, so you can guess what my son is growing up on. I also give him vitamins to make sure he is getting everything that he should do, even though its not a food substitute, he is at least a very happy, energetic boy that looks great! I hope this helps, and I keep the people who make yoghurts in a job!!

StarofLeo.... what does she like? Not surprising she is full of energy : chocolate is caffeine and custard is sugar !

Can you try your food ?
Have you tried avocado? dried fruits (liek figs or dates), houmous or taramasalata on toasts, red or yellow peppers, sweet potato, rissoto, fish, omelette, toasty,...
All of these need to be tried on a regular basis.... she may suddenly like them...

I do agree with others about being a bit strict -

1. she won't starve herself
2. she knows she can get what she wants if she is fussy!

Do you eat with her ? Or at least sit next to her during her meal? Does she help you prepare them?

Hi since I last logged in, we have had a slight improvement, in that she is back to liking fromage frais again. I also brought some chocolate spread and she eats a bit of that on her toast. I am a little bit more chilled out about it now after having spoken to my Mum, who said that I was a complete nightmare for the first 4 years with my food. So she said it was payback time.
She does drink between 6-8 oz of progress milk a day, so i guess she is getting some vitamins that way.
I allways eat with her at the table, and offer her some of whatever I am having. But she is very stubborn about what she will or will not eat, and hardly ever tries anything new.
She has only got 8 teeth at the moment so hopefully when she gets more I will see an improvement in what she can eat.
Thanks for your support, it is nice to know that I am not alone in the food battle.

Hi StarofLeo, I really can relate to your message. How is your child? We had a really bad day yesterday and he was not too good today again, so out come the yoghurts and the vitamins again. My one wont even drink milk of any kind, he only gets it in his weetabix and he does not like sweeties either, apart from the odd slice of aero or a choc button (and I mean the odd one). Honestly, you are not alone. If I try to give him something from my plate or even suggest toast, etc., he says no and puts his hand out in front of his face in defiance. Gee, I really hope he does grow out of this but I dont know when we will be able to. Can anyone help me? I would be really grateful to keep my hair on my head and not pull it out!!

Hi cariloni,
You poor thing, it is very stressful isn't it. My only consolation is that my dd is a very happy contented child, who has a very small appetite.Her diet at the moment is bob the builder fromage frais, and tins of egg custard with apple.
Have you tried kinder chocolate? It has less cocoa and more milk. They come in bars called Kinder Maxi.
My health vitor told me that 4 pots of fromage frais is equal to 10oz of milk, which is a little comfort when my dd goes off her milk. How
old is you child?
It is very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it goes on for such a long time, I sometimes have to leave the room and have a shout. But latley am becomming a little bit more chilled out about it, as it can't go on forever, can it!

oops don't know what happened to my layout!

Hi Starofleo and others of course who are in the same situation as us!! My child is 2.5 and my older one is nearly 9 so you would think that I would be at least nearing some sort of half way truce would you. I am going to try that kinder choc and the Bob the Builder fromage frais. We give my youngest the Tweenie ones and he yums them but I will try the Bob the Builder ones too. I keep telling myself that "its a phase" as my older one is getting better, not brill, but definitely better than what he was and he does try something, so at least I tell myself my younger one may do the same, but its really hard. I worry about their height, etc., and that they may be small children because they dont eat well. Would this be the case? Can anyone tell me? I actually gave my youngest jelly tonight and he did like a little, but he was not too keen getting nearer the bottom of the tub. Oh well, its a start!!

Hi Moosh. After reading your message, I can feel so sorry for you too. Its really trying isn't it and sometimes I feel, probably the same as everyone else, that its my fault. I should have done better. My one (now 2.5) as soon as he was born was the same and after breast feeding, was not interested on bottles, but weaning onto solids was ace and he ate everything going, and then the same with finger foods. Now, its going the opposite and he just wont touch anything new at all, even spaghetti bolognaise (we had to take him off it due to exczema) which he used to love and also soups - they are just a no no. I am so glad I have found this website to share my worries and concerns and know that I am not the only one out there with a few strands of hair less!! Thanks!!

Hi folks, I hope this helps, but after being on holiday, I have given my fussy one a yoghurt/mousse called Onken which comes in different flavours and he really loves them and its very filling and fattening too, but with lots of bits of fruit put through it too so at least he is getting something when he is going through one of his "fussy" phases. I hope this helps!!

my dd has phases too. She will not touch friut or veg or fresh milk! i used to get very stressed about it all and even tried frying parsnip and carrot crisps!!! The way i see it now though i,m sure their body lets them know when it needs something-she eats eggs and yoghurts and wholemeal bread nibbles at cereals and has just attemted apples! I think the more you fuss the more stubborn they are just to rebel!