Kids eat junk but I eat v healthy!!!!!!

[Solo2]

OMG! Today is a horrible example of the difference between what I'm eating and what the DCs are eating. I'm a vegetarian, currently dieting and living off several different kinds of raw or cooked veg. and fruit and healthy pulses.

Twin 8 yr old sons have eaten today (particularly BAD day however) - each - 2 pain au chocolat, 2 packets of crisps, a choc bar, 3 slices of toast and one soft-boiled egg....

Yes, yes, I know this sounds dreadful. Yes, I do feel guilty.

Problem is - they're NOT vegetarian and one will eat what the other won't. So on a 'better' eating day, they'll have 2 different kinds of meals made by me for them and I'll do a different meal again for me (I'm a single mum BTW).

Basically, one will tolerate breaded fish - the other nibbles at that but he'll tolerate breaded chicken whilst the other nibbles on that. One will eat some vegetables, only if they're separate on his plate but the other won't eat ANY veggies, unless they're 'hidden' in a veg. casserole I might make for myself.

Neither eats fruit unless absolutely forced and whilst one will eat bananas and apples, the other feels sick with bananas and hates apples and really just hates fruit.

Neither will eat what you'd call 'normal' meals with unbreaded meat or fish, potatoes, 2 veg. One loves cheese but vomits with too much. He'll also eat spaghetti to excess with cheese and tyhen throws up...The other doesn't really like cheese at all, nor any milk products and won't eat spag. but will tolerate occasional pasta which his twin won't touch...You get the picture...

DS1 is prone to bouts of unexplained vomiting, so I have to be v v careful what he eats and how much he eats. The other DS2 is prone to regular 'loose stools' and I suspect is intolerant of lots of foods to a degree.

So they're approaching 9 soon and the difference between what they eat and what I eat is increasing.

As I run a full-time business alone, there's limited time to make meals or shop even. Hence today's food....

Of course I always offer them what I eat and I 'model' really really healthy eating with many more than 5 a day fruit and veg. But this doesn't encourage them to eat.

Has anyone else got children like this and any ideas how to help them eat more healthily without me having to keep preparing 3 diffreent meals each time we eat?

Why are you pandering?
Just make one meal for all of you.
If they eat it or not is up to them.They will if hungry.

Get a grip woman.
There are no secret tricks to this.
If they eat crap it is because someone is buying it.
Would that be you then?
You're in charge. Act it.

What she said.

again - what moondog said.

Plus - get them to a doctor for intolerence tests!

I love moondog

but I would check out the vomiting and loose stools issues

OK, how about having a big freezing session once every other week. Cook one big chilli, one bolognaise, chicken stew, and perhaps a sausage casserole (or meat dishes you know they will happily eat). Get freezer bags, freeze individual portions. Then, each day get out a main course, mix it with pasta for the one who does and a jacket potato or rice for the one who won't. I cook and freeze rice portions too as it saves time. Or, worse case scenario let them have the main meat course with some toast or bread to at least get the protein and hidden veggies in whilst them thinking they are still in control via the more 'easy' carbs. You can slowly wean this away.

How about letting them get involved? I do 'sloppy joes' for the older kids, I give them wraps, cheese, raw veggies, sauce, and meatballs all on a plate. They then make their own wraps. Also make 'dip' with salad cream mixed with ketchup for the raw veggies.

How about beans on toast? Meatballs and rice? Homemade burgers?

My DH is veggie and I am not. DD1 is a carb-head, DD2 is protein-head and DD3 eats very little of anything but will always eat a stew or chilli etc. I do loads of cooking and freezing. That way I know everyone will get good healthy meals and I am not stressed about cooking different things for each person. If I do a roast dinner everyone gets the basics the same and we either have Linda McCartney veggie pies or the kids get sausages (veggie or otherwise).

Regarding the intolerances the only safe way to check what is affecting them is through a nutritionalist who your GP should be able to refer you to. I wouldn't recommend taking things out of their diet without knowing what is what. If you do then it has to be one thing at a time for a minimum of 2 weeks to check the reaction. Never take away more than one thing (ie cheese) or you won't know which item it was that was affecting them.

You are an adult and choose to be veggie like my husband. They are children and need a balanced diet. Processed foods like breaded chicken etc are not going to get them to love food as it all tastes so plastic. I am afraid if you don't like cooking with meat you are going to have to do it for their sake, however you have not said you have a problem with it so I maybe speaking out of turn here, if so apologies.

My DH brought his kids up for a couple of years on his own. He has been veggie for 30 years but he steadfastly kept on cooking meat for them as he knew they needed a balanced diet.

OK, OK!! I might just be ever so slightly pandering to their needs but it's a bit more complicated than that. They're also so prone to tummy troubles that I don't know what to do.

They've both been checked out several times for various nasty things like brain tumours last yr (they had recurrent vomiting and headaches in early morning) but nothing nasty found. So not sure what more docs can do really? They were born premature and have alsways had the same issues lifelong.

When DS2 has eaten lots of fruit and veg. he has diarrhoea several times a day for days and days....

Yes, if they're v hungry, they'll tend to eat more stuff but it's an uphill struggle. They've eaten an apple since I did the OP earlier - but one had to have his peeled and the other not. Just read another Food post and realise should also have added that DS2 has mild Aspergers and so 'has' to have certain foods on a plate in certain ways and won't deviate from his usual choices.

DS1 will try more stuff but he's the one who vomits copiously at least once every 10 days, NOT including when he's got a virus.

There's no one meal we'd all eat really. DS1 would eat homemade veggie soup, but because of the high liquid content that sort of thing might make him throw-up (he's only had soup twice and threw up afterwards each time). DS2 wouldn't eat veg soup, beg suaces in lasagne (nor the lasagne itself), etc as he won't eat what he can't see separately and identify.

Got to get them to bed, so can't write more now....Any other helpful suggestions?

Yes

Get a GRIP

Cannot believe I typed so much when you are batting back with 'its too much like hard work' and asking for a miracle pill to feed them.

Yes, don't bother Blue.
Wasted on those who won't help themselves.

You are right Moondog - can I interest you in a frozen portion of chicken stew..... or perhaps a glass of vino instead

Hey, BlueBumedFly, I didn't get to read your email till now, AFTER I'd written my second response last night. Many thanks for the ideas . You put lots of time and effort into writing your response and I'm sorry my next message (which I wrote BEFORE your response came through) doesn't sound therefore as if I'd seen your message, as I hadn't.

The point I'm still trying to make here is that DCs refuse to eat most things even most picky children will eat and I'm thwarted in my attempts to enforce eating, as they have stomach issues and one has mild SN.

Your excellent ideas are unfortunately also food they won't eat, eg meatballs, any kinds of stew, chilli, bolognaise (or any kind of minced meats), one won't eat any sausages, burgers - just about all the foods most children would eat, both or one or the other won't.

The ONLY meat they'll eat is breaded chicken and only if this is NOT goujons or nuggets but breaded chicken breast. The only fish they'll eat is breaded cod, unless the breaded bit is v thick in which case they won't eat this either.

Neither will eat raw veg. at all and neither would eat a wrap - although it's a brilliant idea to get them to help out with food prep. and I'll try this.

Despite being vegetarian myself for 26 yrs now, I happily would and do cook any meat and fish for the DCs. I've even modelled eating fish and meat for them by letting go of my veg. choice and eating meat and fish in front of them to show how 'yummy and good' they can be. I've tried them on trout, salmon, mackerel, sardines...

Look, I think I may have posted this on the wrong forum because obviously my OP elicted a lot of sneering comments, which I take lightheartedly of course but was really looking for some sound practical advice from other MNs with equally picky children who also have tummy problems - and SNs.

Once again, Blue, thank you for your response, which was v much along the lines of what I was looking for. I'll quietly leave now and try another of the MN topic lists another time.

Solo, I think that they may know they seriously have you on the run. You are obviously trying lots and lots of different things which is great but they know by refusing they get a rise out of you.

I would offer the same meal for a week, be it chicken or fish, see if you can bore them into trying something new?

If you totally ignore if they eat it or not, pass absolutely no comment unless it is to praise food eaten and move on with stuff you need to do. Totally remove the audience, they may bore of it all. I speak from experience. My DD eats so little and even less if I am there saying 'try this try that'. I often find if I totally ignore, chat about other things, read a magazine, use my laptop she just gets on and eats. The more I push the less she eats. If I give no comment at all, ignore the left over food and offer no snacks at all other than fruit or rice cakes until the next meal then I get better results.

Can you try that maybe? Smile smile smile, enjoy your own food, keep upbeat and go and do something for you that you enjoy. They may very quickly realise its just not worth it anymore.