Help, still eating like a baby

[KateJB]

My 13 month old was doing really well at trying new tastes and textures until about 6 weeks ago. Now he's refusing anything savoury unless it's pureed finely and hidden in petit filous, and even sweet things have to be smooth and lump-less. My husband suggests not giving him anything sweet until he starts eating savoury stuff, then lumps, but I'm worried that he just won't eat enough if I do that. He also refuses to use a beaker (I've bought about 6) and only has water or juice out of a bottle. Also not interested in holding the spoon and trying to feed himself. Has anyone been through the same thing, would be grateful for advice as starting to feel sick with worry

KatieJB - I'm sure he'll get enough food to keep him staisfied if you tried to cut out the sweet stuff for a few days.

My ds will be 2 in a few weeks time and he STILL likes to be fed by us. He can do it himself, but for damage limitation and quickness we do it. But most of the time he just uses his fingers.

Your ds will be fine, don't worry. He's not lagging behind.... probably just being stubborn. I stopped offering my ds juice/water in a bottle. He only got milk in a bottle. He soon grasped the concept that if he wanted juice, it would be in a cup.

HTH

What teeth has he got? dd was pretty anti lumpy food until she got the front lot and the molars helped even more. If teeth are coming through and everything's a bit tender in there that might explain the fussy-ness.

kateJB

Try not to worry too much.

He will eat enough if you offer food when he is hungry and remove it with as little fuss as possible if he won't touch it. Many toddlers level off in terms of weight gain at this point so as long as he is active and otherwise well it should not be a problem. Keep snacks in between meals to a minimum, and offer healthy things. Would he perhaps prefer 4 smaller meals a day. Could he be teething as this may affect whether he wants to have to chew food.

It is quite early to expect him to use a spoon - will he eat finger foods at all ? Our dd is perfectly capable of feeding herself but will often revert to fingers instead.

We too have made a clear distinction between milk in a bottle and water in a cup. She is only now starting to use spouts for milk (oops bad mother, over 1 and still using teats!). With the warmer weather he will drink water from a cup if he is thirsty - I always remember a HV talking about the queues of kids at the school water fountains on a hot day.

Our ds went through a similar phase of wanting only purees and yoghurt at about 16 months, for several weeks, but it did pass and now he is a good varied eater aged 5.

hth

My dd went through all this and it nearly drove me crazy. How about finger foods? Its about now they get all independent and want to do everything themselves regardless of wether they are actually capable! Also I think sitting down and eating is just too plain boring for them at this stage. Would post more but ds is crying and dd needs a bath!

Another thought - are you eating with him ? Sometimes having the same food as you, be it a mashed or pureed in part may be enough to generate more interest.

hth

Thanks so much for your advice, have resolved to be less stressed about it and focus on the positive things, he does chew on biscuits and breadsticks so that's good, and he eats raisins and dry cheerios in the morning out of a suction bowl on his highchair. I've put away all the beakers except one, without a valve so easy to suck. I've started to try the beaker with milk (up to now only has milk in bottles) in the morning when he's really hungry. Yesterday he had two sips before giving up and just chewing the spout, so that's progress! figure he'll start to suss it out, then I can move onto water from the beaker too. The other thing I've done is taken my stress out of the savoury food issue, by buying jars for a bit, rather than giving him homemade stuff - because I haven't invested time in making the food, I'm getting less stressed when I have to throw it away or hide it in his yogurt.

My ds is 20months and I usually feed him too. However, he does eat sandwiches/toast/biscuits etc by himself - it's just sloppy food he has trouble getting onto the spoon and into his mouth.

Oh yes Aloha, ds usually either misses the food or his mouth! Either way it can end up messy and he gets quite frustrated.

Ravioli or baked beans are essentially fed to him. With other foods he holds his fork in his left hand and picks up the food with his right! Cutlery is over-rated anyway.

DS2 (16 months) wasn't very good a chewing until recently- but he didn't have many teeth- and molars are only coming through now. DS1 who had a mouthful of teeth by 1 used to eat roast dinners by the bucketload (won't now but that's a different story).

DS2 will feed himself a yoghurt with a spoon, but everything else (including things like lasagna) is with fingers.

Neither of the boys have got on very well with things like anyway up cups- much better with free flowing spouts or straws.

I try to get my 18-month-old twins to use their forks but instead of using it for the food once I have finished my demo on what to do they hold them in one hand like septres and eat with the other, at least they hold them I suppose!
They must have been greek in a previous life because they think it great fun to drop their plates over the side of their high chair tables when finished.

Paula71 ... ... very funny thought of your greek kids!
I am ashamed to say that my DS refused to feed himself until he was just under 3. As he is my only one I didn't really care that much but when I realised it was ridiculous we had a tough week of me saying 'If you don't feed yourself you won't get anything!' and it worked.
Like you KateJB I was always worried that DS wouldn't get enough to eat and only today I looked at a picture of him at 12 months and he was the FATTEST child in the world ... there was no chance that he wouldn't get enough to eat ... but I didn't see that!!
He was also not keen on lumpy food when he was a year old and used to gag a lot so I think I pureed it all far too much for far too long. He is now 3 and a half and eats like a 'person' as opposed to a baby so eventually they do 'get it'!
The other day I was at a child's birthday party and another mum was telling me that her SIX year old still demands to be fed by her ........... and she was laughing about it ..... My jaw was on the ground as she was telling me and I did think "Now that IS ridulous ...!!"

I think 18months is very young to be using cutlery - or is that just me? At 21 months my ds still can't with any real success. The only cutlery he can handle effectively are his fingers. He likes to eat off his baby fork provided I put the food (eg cheese) on it - but that's not really the point of it is it?

This is such a reassuring thread! I used to get really stressed over mealtimes (and knowing that you shouldn't turn mealtimes into stressful events just made my stress worse!) but have now managed to relax about it (although I still have my moments!).

DS (13 months)eats a very small variety of things - rice cakes and philadelphia, grapes, ham (sometimes), sausages, cheese on toast, eggy bread, yoghurt and fromage frais. I can also get the occasional jar of brocoli and sweet potato down him, which is the only vegetables he will even contemplate!! He doesn't use a spoon, except to create a lovely splatter effect on the walls. I found it helped to change my focus to 'has he eaten enough to survive?' and anything else is a bonus. It also helped to think about the amount that he had eaten over a whole week rather than on an individual day or meal basis. Even if they eat virtually nothing during the week (and when you add it all up, you will probably be surprised how much they do actually get in), if they are drinking milk, then that will still be enough to sustain them.

I do try to introduce new things into his diet (and just mentally accept in advance that he probably won't eat it!) but also have something there that I know he has eaten before so that I can tell if he's not eating because he's not hungry and that it's not that he just doesn't like what's presented. I do tend to still offer sweet things (only yogs, fromage fraise and fruit) even if he doesn't eat his savouries as there is still goodness in that stuff and I want him to think that mealtimes are enjoyable.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not doing things the 'right' way, and still have loads of guilt that I'm not cooking him organic lasagne every night (for him not to eat!), but it's how I manage to cope with it!

He has absolutely wolfed down any chips, crisps, chocolate that have ever been offered to him (only occasionally) - I can see that he takes after his mother!

I too have a large collection of beakers that he won't drink out of - finally found some success with the Kids to Go type, so we're sticking with that. Haven't tried his milk out of it yet though - more guilt about that too!