Not Gaining any weight-how do I encourage him to eat more?

[Maximsmum]

My 7 month old son hasn't put on any weight for the past 5weeks. He's down to 3-4mouthfuls of food at each sitting and never manages more than 4-5oz milk (now only 3times a day) I've tried to interest him with finger food, different flavours, avoiding snacks between meals, to clapping and cheering every mouthful that goes in.His weight is fast falling to only the 9th centile on the growth charts, and I'm pulling my hair out, getting increasingly more frustrated with each meal that passes. He's started to wake up again at night, which is making me tired and even less patient. None of which is helping. Has anyone got any good ideas?

Hi there, is your health visitor concerned? If not then I guess you should maybe relax and go with it. If he's on the 9th centile then he is still growing, just not as fast as some other babies. I think that babies are probably quite sensitive and if you worried or upset then he will be aware that food is an issue. I can only make suggestions but does he have favourites? If so concentrate on them rather than bombarding him with different flavours, textures etc (in the short-medium term). He's probably a bit little for most finger foods. Have definite mealtimes - if he doesn't eat so be it (but don't make a big deal out of it if he does eat - this is a normal activity that needs to be kept normal) - he won't starve; he may go several days not eating very much but there is a basic survival instinct that will mean that he will eat. Eat (something) with him (as far as that is possible) so that meals are a good fun, group activity - babies love to copy. I don't really know or have any magic cure but going with the flow always seems to be the best way. I hope that this helps - it's always easier to give advice than to be in the situation. I really hope that you feel better soon.

PS Do you have Annabel Karmel (Cooking for your Baby)- I think she's a love or hate thing but I am hooked and found her vv helpful in conjuntion with Gina Ford (Contented Little Baby Book).

Dear Harrysmum
Thanks for message and tips.
Just bought the A/Karmel book so going to give a few of these recipes a try. I'd been using C/Timperley veggie book as he's definitely less keen on meat. His fav food up til now has been cauli/broccoli cheese, bulked up with a few pasta shapes. Even this was met with disdain last evening. Family mealtimes are a problem, as hubby is off to work before baby gets up and not home before bed, and w/es he's often working too. I eat some nibbles of food with Max, but he's often too busy watching the cats eat theirs! Actually just writing up this message has made me feel less stressed about it, and hopefully my more relaxed attitude will help. Lunchtime turned out to be a bit better, even though it took over an hour, and the GFord routine went a bit by the wayside! I think he's so desperate to feed himself, but obviously incapable, that he's just as frustrated with mealtimes as I am. But having said that, he coped great with a slice of bread and kiwi fruit slices in between mouthfuls of spring veg risotto. Honestly, I swear he eats better food than I do!

Hi my last message seems to have vanished into the ether but I'm glad that lunch went well. All it said was that (apart from the fact that Harry too seems to eat better than we do!) is that it helps if he has a spoon and I have a spoon. This avoids him grabbing and trying to feed himself (and the carpet, and me and anything within catapulting distance). Harry's favourite things from AK are anything with sweet potato and the pasta sauce recipes for 6-9 months (baby organix pasta is just the right size and takes about a minute to cook). He would also eat fromage frais until it came out of his ears - this is a good way to keep his milk intake up to the recommended pint a day (along with things like readybrek - I put mashed banana or stewed rhubarb through it to keep it interesting). As for eating with him - it doesn't have to be your meal. We eat breakfast together but when Harry has his evening meal I have tea and fruit/biscuits with him. My husband is a doctor and works silly hours inc at the weekend so I do know the feeling. I guess it's just good to keep your baby company with something - I work so am dying for a cup of tea when I get in and have to do Harry's dinner. If your HV is happy then take it easy! Good luck with tea.

I agree with what's been said- take it easy -though I can understand that such a small appetite would be stressful.
My son's favourite at 7 moths old were bananas, avocadoes, pureed carrots, pureed red lentils (very healthy) and some muesli (baby organix).
A book I recommend is Suzannah Olivier "what should I feed my baby"- if you are a Gina fan like me... I am sure you will find Suzannah very good.
Good luck.

At one weight check-up my son had lost 2 oz in a month. He was a very small eater and didn't have much in the way of solids till 9 months. He was also very low on the charts but did eventually catch up. Try meals more often but don't worry about it as long as he is healthy. He will pick up on the solids in his own time. Don't worry also about giving the same thing. My son loved yoghurt and I'd often just end up serving that time after time.

Just back from a few days in the country with my folks. Max ate like a pig. He loved trying new dishes, (more time with my mum to help look after baby while I cook) plaice and spinach in cheese sauce, chicken courgettes and grapes, lovely lentils, etc. Now back in the smoke and his appetite has disappeared. I've stuck to the same food and routines, but suddenly that mouth is tightly shut, and the little hands are out pushing the spoon away. Have so far stayed relaxed, but its very frustrating.
Thanks for the tips. I'll keep persevering! Haven't dared weigh him yet, can't help but feel that if he's happy enough, things are ok.

Hi - I'm new to this site and wondered if anyone could give me some tips now that i've started weaning my 5 month old daughter ?!

She's been totally breastfed and I started introducing solids at 4 months as she was beginning to wake up in the night etc etc. She took to it well and now we've got to 5 months she seems to be loosing interest in her milk feed at 2.30. We have been following the Gina Ford Contented baby book - and everything has been going fine - but I'm worried as she is a long, slim baby who is only just putting on a few oz everyweek where as all her friends are storming away in the weight department !!! I have tried various things but she just seems less interested in my milk now !!

Any tips on how to improve milk up-take or do you think I sahould just go with the flow ???

Go with the flow (unless she looses weight).
DD is 6 mo and is exactly as you describe !Also a GF baby.
Your daughter won't starve herself... she may not be hugely keen on food - as is mine. What sort of solids are you giving her now ?

Sorry if Im hijacking this thread with a slightly different problem. Ds is 8 months and eats quite a lot, but hasnt put on any weight for 6 weeks. He is allergic to milk protein, so doesnt eat cheese, custard or yoghurt etc. but still has a varied diet, with 3 full milk feeds plus breakfast, dinner and tea. He started off gaining masses of weight in the first 6 months and now has just stopped altogether. Should I be worried? Has anyone else experienced this? (I live in Spain so dont have a health visitor to ask)

I am not an HV but I would think that he is more active (presumably ?) and therefore he will get thinner. Most babies get thinner when they start moving around.
Does he eat a good variety of food ? Does he like eating ?
My SIL's son is quite thin and it takes him an hour to finsih his meal - huge plate as well... he is quite fussy and IMO he doesn't enjoy his mealtime. I don't think she'd agree with that... never mind !
My point being (not saying this is true in your case) that our state of mind affects how we metabolise food. If we are happy (generally) and enjoy mealtimes our body will process the food correctly. If we are not happy/food lovers, eating becomes a burden and your brain deals with it differently ?
Do you follow me... Had 2 glasses of wine and am looking for my words

For my nephew, I think she'd be better off giving him foods he enjoys and making meal time shorter !

Thanks Pupuce,
Yes, he,s not on the move yet, but is still very active, and doesnt appear to be underfed. He seems happy and contented and sleeps well through the night, so perhaps I shouldnt worry.

Thanks Pupuce ... I will go with the flow and definately not start adding butter to everything I give her as my Health Visitor suggested ... !!!

Just to add Art that my daughter (13 months) is also allergic to dairy products - and despite eating very well doesn't seem to put on any weight - she's very slim but not unhealthyl skinny I would say.
When I spoke to the dietician at her last alergy check she did say I could add extra fat to her food if I wanted - but that there was probably no need - and she pointed out that her diet is probably fairly low cal as there are no dairy products and lots of fruit and veg. I used to be worried about this ( especially when I was desperate for her to be heavy enough for her next car seat!)but nowadays I've decided that she's just benifiting from a mixture of a naturally slim build - and a healthy diet!

Art- my ds stopped gaining weight for about 6-8weeks around 22-30weeks. Seemed to be eating as usual, in his case never very much. But I paniced slightly as he's always been on the light side and dropped from just above the 25centile to below the 9th. HV and GP were totally unconcerned and just said that he'd make up for it later. Didn't help my state of mind much and I did fall into the trap of making meal-times a battlefield for a while. Not a good option believe me. Persuaded myself to relax a bit more and just take the food away when he showed disinterest and finally things started to improve.
DS is still on the light side (back to the 25th centile) at 16months, but mealtimes are fun and he eats what he wants and tells me most definitely when he's had enough.
The dip did coincide with learning to sit and crawl. Perhaps he was just more interested in that than food at the time!
My advise would be to try not to worry and just go with the flow! Easy for me to say now, but it was the best advise I had at the time. Wish I'd tried it earlier! Just me being a typical 1st time mum!!

Thanks everyone for advice - as ds seems to be perfectly happy Im trying not to worry - can you tell Im a first time Mum?!

Did anyone else completely avoid weighing their second or subsequent baby? I know I did! My first was taken to weekly sessions at the clinic to be weighed and measured and we would fret and fuss over his gains/losses.
When the second came along I was too busy to bother! And her wee red book remains largely not filled in!Also I asked the HV not to bother calling in each day after she was born ( I think they call every day for the first ten days here) as I thought I was wasting her time, and I did not realy enjoy the interuptions.

I am the same with number 2, she is almost 7 months old and has been 3 times to be weighed (actually 1 of those was the 6 weeks check-up) ! DS went at least 10 times in that same amount of time... FAR more relaxed the 2nd time

Yes, I agree with you both. My second son hardly saw the scales afer his first month. He was a long baby and was growing and feeding well. I thought he was no more than average in weight - a bit gangly in fact. Is it possible to have a gangly toddler? - yes it is I was so taken by surprise at his two year check up to find he was above the 90th percentile for weight and only on the 75th percentile for height. Still tall, but according to these figues, proportionally more heavy.

My dd is 22 months old. This is what she has eaten today:

1 teaspoon of porridge
1 teaspoon of pasta shapes in cheese sauce (baby jar 7 month food)
1 small cube of carrot
2 bottles of milk

She weighs 21lbs.

I am absolutely tearing my hair out about this. I get so angry and today was the first time I shouted at her for not eating. I stopped worrying for a while about her eating habits, but this is getting beyond a joke and I feel so useless.

I really need some advice.

Meadow, I understand this is worrying you but do you think she is starving herself ? Probably not !
She seems to have a small appetite.
Does she always eat very little ?
Are there foods that she prefers ? Will she easily eat a banana ? Would she go for toasts ? Your description is not of finger food - does she like that ?

DS who is a bit older than your daughter eats so much food that my mum thinks he is eating to compensate or something ! DD on the other hand (same parents) eats a "hell of a lot" less. She is seriously smaller (not in height but in weight) - she is just different.

Unless your daughter is loosing weight or looking unwell... I would not worry too much about it !

If she is under the weather, she will eat less - don't you when you're sick ? If she never ate much, she has a small tummy (no point in forcing her to take more food than she can it will come out the other way).

It is easy for me to write this, I am not her mother but I think it's also easier to be more objective (even tough I haven't seen her)

Please keep posting to let us know how it is evolving.

Best of luck.

She has ALWAYS eaten very little. She nibbles on a small piece of banana and spits it out. She will eat a small square of toast (about an inch square). She will eat small amounts of pasta (no sauce), but seems to have gone off that. Will nibble on plain bread. Likes oranges/grapes, not apples. Again, she'll eat a little piece. It's the same every day, but it seems to have got worse over the past week. I leave dried cereals etc around for her to eat but it ends up on the floor.

She hasn't lost any weight, and has gained around a 1lb in approx. four months! Is very active and healthy though. She's about 5 inches shorter than her friends of her age.

I have even tried putting her food on my plate, but to no avail.

Does she look "happy" otherwise ? At her age they don't put on weight as fast anymore.... DS who is a big eater hasn't really put on much weight in the past 6 momths (maybe 2lb). They do move a lot.
Are there foods she prefers ?
I think there are quite a few discissions threads on this problem (to demonstrate that you are not the only one)!... maybe if you do a search you might find suggestions that others might have offered at the time.
Let me suggest a few foods in case you haven't tried those :
Red peppers (raw), cucumber, carrots, dried apricot, ice cream, coloured pasta, dried mango, houmous on toasts (make small strips),...

Good luck !

Meadow- I synpathise big time. My ds is a picky eater, appetite always on the small side. Weight hovers between 9th and 25th centiles in his "little red book". I find now that he's getting older, 16months, he either eats a good meal or he doesnt. No matter what I do on those bad days he won't eat any more. I have found that by not giving in to snacks and drinks in between meals he will have a much more "balanced" main meal at lunch and supper. On the bad days its tempting to keep offering snacks to help him make up what he's not eating, but then he definitely expects it and eats less and less. Have you tried just sticking to main meals for a few days to see if dd will eat more?
Finger foods are v popular with ds. Especially croissants (the all butter variety from sainsburys particularly!) or brioche rolls for breakfast. Sticks of veg like baby sweetcorn, courgetttes, baby butternut and carrots for him to pick up at lunch/supper are also good. He loves butternut (squashed with butter) and will readily spoon this in, along with mash potato laced with cream cheese, butter and milk so that its quite gooey!
For me it was finding something that he really enjoyed and could eat himself (I appreciate that ds is younger than your dd) I think he's got a bit of an independent streak!!
But my best bit of advise is to try not to show them that you are upset by the lack of eating. I made this mistake early on, and it resulted in nothing but heartache for both of us.
As Pupuce has said, if dd is happy and active and well, try not to worry too much. Children won't deliberately starve themselves and she will eat what she wants and needs.
Good luck!

Thanks for your messages. DD is a very happy child; food is the only issue. I will try out the other finger foods as suggested and see how it goes from there.

Because she doesn't eat substantial meals, I will feed her 'little and often'. Mostly try to give her healthy snacks/fruit, but she won't refuse chocolate and crisps, which I try to limit. DH would give it to her everyday if I didn't put a stop to it. It annoys me that he is not as concerned as me about her feeding habits, so I don't talk to him about it anymore.

Meadow - I agre with honeybunny about trying to focus on mealtime rather than snack time.
If she is hungry she will eat. If you don't give her any snacks in between meals, what is she like then ?