Fussy 17m old - how to respond?

[Midge25]

Hoping someone can guide me through this minefield! My dd is in ft nursery, where they cook the meals on site from scratch. She eats really well there most days...anything from chicken korma, to fish pie, to veg risotto. However, at home (where I also make things myself) she's always had a really limited repertoire (homemade cockaleekie soup, homemade macaroni/cauliflower cheese or Heinz-made beans on toast). Lately, this has shrunk to macaroni/cauliflower cheese only. She's open to all sorts of sweet things, (of course!) be that fruit, raisins, yoghurt, choc mousse etc, but additionally won't eat anything from a jar/Hipp tray etc, which makes life v difficult if we're out and about for the day, esp. in summer!

I suspect I am wrapped around the little lady's finger, and that this is the advent of toddlerdom (asserting independence, getting extra attention etc) - would others agree? And how do I respond? Do I offer 1 dish only - if she doesn't eat, remove? Normally I would offer two courses - if she doesn't eat the 1st do I still give the 2nd? Or will she then think that if she holds out, she'll be able to eat endless bananas and biscuits? Don't want to turn eating into a battle of wills/or have a punishment mentality about it...not sure what the best way forward is. Dd is quite proficient w/ spoon/fingers now, so don't need to sit w/ her while she eats. Maybe if I was supervising less?

What do they do at nursery? Do they offer her the one thing and not an alternative? I suspect toddlers are often on better behaviour with non-parents, because they feel more secure with parents and know that they can push them further. Maybe.

My toddler (15 m) will eat virtually anything if it's offered by someone else, even total strangers. Had v. embarassing moment recently when I claimed he'd gone orf bananas and a friend indicated DS, who was gorging himself on my friend's DD's nana...

I also find if I get away from the table and let him get on with it, pretend to be busy in the kitchen etc, he's less likely to fling food and more likely to get it down his gullet. Lack of audience?

Hi Mama. No, at the nursery it's one option only but they do give pudding regardless of what's happened w. the main. Dunno whether I'm just supervising too much? Have got in the habit of sitting w/ her all the time even tho' she can feed herself now...

DS will fling food if he's not desperately hungry and thinks he can get a rise out of me (and he does ). So I try to leave him to it if he's in that sort of mood. Also not giving him too much at once to eat, as he tends to get cavalier with lots of food at once.

On the other hand, sitting and eating with her at the same time can help... It's so hard sometimes!

If it's any consolation, DS refuses virtually all veggies and would happily live on cheese, potato, meat, fish and scrambled egg. And strawberries. I just shrug and assume he's getting the necessary vitamins from the fruit and that he'll eventually learn to love his carrots and peas.