Nervous about weaning - encouragement needed!

[Starsky]

Hi there, I have a 4 month old girl and am starting to think about weaning her. However, I am a bit nervous about it - will I do it right, give her the right foods etc. I had trouble getting her to breast feed when she was born (she is fine now) which was quite emotional - I am a first time Mum - and I think some of my worry stem from the fact that I am concerned that she is going to have problems moving onto solids.
Can anyone reassure me that (a) it is enjoyable (b) tips on making it easier for both of us

Any advice would be appreciated

Hiya Starsky
Bless you, don't worry baes, solids are fun, not scary. You both get in a right mess but then just have a bath together! I'm a mum to one, who is now 16months old. At 1st she didn't know what to do with the spoon & tried sucking it as though it was a teat, but that didn't last too long. You just mix up the baby rice as it states on the box and sit down somewhere quietly with her and have fun! She won't know what to make of it at first but she soon will. The you can think about adding in a little pureed fruit into the baby rice once you're both down with the whole spoon thing. My God-daughter used to push her tounge out thile I was feeding her & made it very difficult to get the spoon in but I just pushed back very gently and got the spoon over her a tounge and she sort of licked the food in!!
Basically my tip is don't worry mate, just take your time, make a mess. It's OK/natural to be unsure but it'll all be OK, I guarantee it!!!

Thanks ThomCat, that has cheered me up no end! I have searched for threads about weaning and it tends to be about the technicalities of it all - which food to start first, when to do it etc. I have no problem with any of that, I just want it to be enjoyable and hear stories from other Mum's saying it has been fun, not just a 'routine'. Your comments were exactly what I was looking for...

Starsky - my ds loved his food right from the word go. I made a lot of it at first, but used cans and tins of baby food if out and about. I did not have many problems getting any food into him, except carrot puree, which he hated! He loved the sweeter ones best.

Good luck - you know where to come if you DO have any problems.

Thanks Chinchilla. When would you say is best to start? My dd is 18 weeks old, is OK with just milk, but is really interested in our food when we eat.

I didn't have any issues weaning my ds but then he eats anything that stands still for even a second. I let him hold the spoon himself and just put a little food on it so it wouldn't fall off. At that age they want to put everything in their mouth and that's what he did. When he realised it had flavour he was over the moon. How about trying something like that. Even letting your ds hold one spoon while you have another and actually do feed her. Just remember the first few times won't be a feed but just an experiment for her to understand about food coming other than from a breast/teat.

In Australia they recommend not starting weaning until 6 months as this gives their digestive system longer before it has to start dealing with solids but my ds was a greedy little bugger and I started him at 4 months.

If your ds doesn't take to weaning straight away don't stress about it. Leave it for a week or two and try again. Some babies aren't interested until they are older and some are happy to start at 4 months.

Starskey - I started at 4 calendar months (17 ish weeks)

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The best piece of advice I received was to puree up various fruit and veg and freeze in ice cube trays. That way in the early days you can just offer her one cube and as she progresses you can offer her a mixture. Personally didn't use baby rice with DS1 or 2, they just wouldn't touch it. Are you still b/feeding, if you are I believe the current WHO recommendations are to leave weaning until six months, I struggled with this and gave in at 17 weeks.

Just relax and enjoy it, if she doesn't eat something or doesn't like something don't panic, at the moment solids are just first tastes and she will still be getting all she needs from her milk.

Don't do what I did with DS1 I was soooo hung up that he should eat avocado as I had read how good it was for babies (cursed Annabel Karmel) that I got myself into such a state when he wouldn't touch it that DS1 ended up wearing the avocado. Stay calm!

I absolutely second edgarcat's comments - don't get hung up about special baby food for ever - obviously you have to mush the food up initially - after the fruit/baby rice stage - but as soon as you can get your baby eating (more or less) what you eat - perhaps we were lucky with our DS but he was really easy to feed - he loved most things and it is so easy just to blend a bit of your own meal rather than faff about with baby food recipes etc etc.

Edgarcat - I started my DS earlier too!

Meanmum - I think I will try that with the spoon, ds is the same and will eat anything she puts in her mouth so should be OK.
Hearing you all say that it is not her main source of nutrition has made me relax a bit, and I definately agree that all these books etc seem to overcomplicate things.

Thanks again.

Hi Starsky! I too have a 4 month old daughter and am weaning her. She loves it, not too keen on carrot which she has been chucking up! Maybe we should compare notes regularly!Have been busy making purees. Sweet potato tomorrow I think. Apple and pear together is current fave.

Mouli, I am going to start right away. Give me a week or so and I will gladly swop notes on how I am doing. Quite looking forward to it now!

My only piece of advice - don't get too hung up on the 'right' foods - baby rice, carrot, etc. Boring! We realised it was time to wean our son when at 3 months (shock horror too young...) he grabbed and ate a handful of summer pudding from my plate at a dinner party. For the next few months he loved strong flavours - eg, spaghetti bolognese with loads of garlic. Mind you, now he's a toddler he virtually lives on spaghetti hoops...

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one getting a bit stressed about this. I'm dithering about whether to start weaning - ds is 18 weeks but was born 3 weeks early (is this relevant???) I agree the books make it seem difficult but how about a health visitor who told me to leave it until he's "really ready". What does that mean?! Basic question - how do you know when is the right time?

I didn't buy any of that baby rice stuff or just give one flavour at a time. Mainly because I didn't know that's what all the books said as I didn't read any. Sometimes it's good not knowing what the books say and just going with what you think is right.

I used the ice cubes to freeze my food and that worked really well as there was less wasteage. I just started cooking up vegetables together and then pureeing them (or however you spell it). If you want to cook meat then I boiled mine as it left a lot of water in it and I could flavour it with a bay leaf or some rosemary etc in the water. Then just use the water the food has cooked in to help puree it down.

Good luck it's a really special time and to me symbolised my baby starting the journey into childhood. If you know what I mean.

EEK my dd was born early and they just told me to try at 4 calendar months on their due date( so for you - jsut add three weeks to his calendar 4 months and that should be okay) SO for my dd that was at about 18/19 weeks old.

Some of the signs from memory seem to be - not satisfied with just milk and very interested in you eating and what you are eating. I just tried dd with a bit of baby rice at first to see how she would go.. very milky baby rice. SHe loved it but we took it very easy from there still relying on milk for bulk of her nutrition until she was 6 months.

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade but it is useful to remind you that babies do not NEED to be weaned at 16 weeks old, most can and should wait longer, closer to 6 months old. We "all" tend to think babies will sleep better once on solid but the quantities of solids they get at 4 months of age are less calorific than their usual milk intake !
Here are signs to look out for if you are thinking of weaning onto solids :

• Baby wanting to grab adult food from table, wanting to pick up food
• Baby becoming much more unsettled even after breastfeed has been increased for several days
• Baby wanting to bf or bottle feed more for over 4 to 5 days - and this is not related top teething or illness.
• Baby shows signs of knowing how to swallow solids (tongue movement)
• Baby can sit up
• Baby is ready to chew

And reasons to wait a bit longer to wean are :

• Readiness of the digestive system
• Reduced risk of allergies
• Not as calorie intensive as breastmilk
• Easier on the mother (no preparation!)
• Proper nutrition through mother?s milk
• Decrease risk of ear infections

Good luck

Ooooooo - other wicked mummies like me, Faberdoobie. Never met people before who weaned before 4 months. Both of my children were ravenous by three months and were desperate for solids. So I'm not the only evil one....

I vote for books, they can help a lot if you feel unsure. Also there is another plus to starting before 6 months if they are ready, they are less fussy about the taste and feel so you can take the opportunity to get them used to vegetables mainly, and they are more likely to keep eating them. I've just started dd2 who is 16 weeks and very large and hungry, after a few days I'm getting big smiles when she sees the spoon coming! I used Gina Ford for dd1 as I had strong family history of food allergies and PND and couldn't think straight, it tells you EXACTLY what to do which is what I needed then. I feel much more confident now with no. 2, but dd1 still such a good eater, no allergies and still willing to try new things though only 2.5, so I decided to stick with the same programme. Other advice that was useful was from HV, give them what YOU eat, but YOU eat lots of fresh veg and fruit yourself. We changed our diet permanently and are glad. Eat your meals together if poss, so they see you eating. And don't worry about the mess, it gets worse before it gets better (I'm still waiting).

Just to add to what pupuce said. I was desperate to wean ds1 and did so at 16 weeks, got stressed, and in hindsight spent days endlessly/needlessly cooking new things, and basically forcefeeding him. He was fully breastfed at the time as well. Looking back part of the reason I wanted him on food was so I could have a break away occassionally, as he refused to take a bottle.

With ds2, I have been much more relaxed. As he was fully breastfed, and not showing any of the signs of weaning, I left him until he was about 23 weeks, and then started him on purees of what we were eating - single foods to begin with as history of allergies in family. By 7 months he was on 3 meals a day, with lots of variety. Now 10 months old he has shown no ill effects from waiting and eats what we eat, with some variations to allow for ready made sauces etc.

Basically - do what you think is right for your daughter. As others have said, make it fun, expect a mess and before long your child will be eating the same foods as you. Don't worry about the quanties of food to give but follow her lead.

Comparing both ds now, although weaned completely differently, I am very lucky that they like a variety of food and eat well. Part of this is because they love their food, but also because if they don't eat what is in front of them, there are no other alternatives (bad mother!)- unless they genuinely dislike it. I am sure I have read somewhere, if a child rejects a food, you should try to give it to them at least 10 times before completely classifying it as a food they dislike - needless to say I have never managed to do this.

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I hadn't realised that he'd get more calories from milk than from the solids. That does make a difference - thanks! Since he has gone back to sleeping through the night I think I'll put my mouli away for a little while. Pity - I'm quite looking forward to it.

SilverUK.... where did you hear or see this :
"Also there is another plus to starting before 6 months if they are ready, they are less fussy about the taste and feel so you can take the opportunity to get them used to vegetables mainly, and they are more likely to keep eating them"

There is no proof of that... I do not think fussiness has anything to do with age of weaning to be honest !

So Starsky, how's it going? Are you getting into it all, getting messy and loving it yet?! I've come into work today with DD breakfast all over my shoulder, nicccceeeee!!!!

Pupuce, sorry not to reply sooner. I got that pre-six months info from A) my health visitor, who said start at 16 weeks not before in 2000 B) GF and C) my friend's son's nutritionist, he had a painful cleft palate repair at 6 months and never ate properly again, underweight etc even now at 3 yrs. I heard that the WHO had changed the recommendations, but I'm suspicious of their possible political/ideological reasons.
Also there is no way that milk has more calories than solid food volume for volume. I'm not trying to make anyone wean early, I just feel it is truly appropriate for some children and mothers. My dd2 will be 5 months this week and is enjoying a small bowl of various solids as soon as she's had her fill of breast then formula milk as well, twice a day. She really likes eating, I think it's interesting or something, above and beyond hunger. She is large, has been in 6-12 month clothes since 4 months, and was frantic with hunger by evening until we started the rice, so it's not surprising she needs more than just milk.