5yo DS stealing from other children's lunchboxes

[celandine]

Not sure whether to put this onto the food thread but it's more about behaviour and I am completely at a loss at what to do.

last week DS's teacher told me he's been caught by a mum helper taking things from other children's lunchboxes. I know he did this a couple of times before and I had strict words with him not to do it again. He is quite a difficult child at times and extremely headstrong.

The issue is that he would like more chocolate and crisps. He thinks his lunchbox is boring.I have tried to meet him halfway but find it hard. I have told him if he isn't happy with his lunchbox again to let me know straight away and we would discuss it. So far we've agreed to ahve one day where he has crisps and and a Penguin. He would also like something else chocolatey most days. I would much rather him have a homebaked something but want to honour my agreement to listen if he wasn't happy with his lunchbox.

I obviously told him ever to take anything again, told him how the other child might have felt etc....

I am a generally healthy eater but have happily given him home-baked flapjacks, muffins etc most days, but he seems obsessed with the wrapper stuff and is worried that chilren will laugh at strange things. So how far would you compromise on the health of your child's lunchbox to keep them happy?

He'll learn if he's been caught red handed! Send him what you want him to have.

we have a friday junk day..ie crisps and choccy covered thing or a piece of cake.. and tea is something junkie too.

but that is it.. the rest of the time they eat what i give them end of.

I would however remove junk day if I knew any of them were raiding ( for want of a better word) anyone else's lunches.

I'd tell him to stop stealing food or it's school lunches.

I used to let him have chocolate or crips on a Friday but that didn't stop him taking the other days. A complete junk day on Fridays is a good idea. Maybe he could do his won lunchbox then. He wants to be like the others he says and 'apparently' they have chocolate or crips every day. I personally would rather him not. I also do not want to be bribed by his stealing. I am worried he stole today but no-one was watching as he was very oky when I asked him. He can be very sneaky.

You are quite right - I should give him what I want him to have.

School dinner threats are a fantastic idea - thankyou! He hates the idea of them.

I would let the class teacher know he's being sneaky.. sure they;ll keep an eye on what he's up to as well..

we have to earn our junk days

Many schools have a no chocolate rule with lunchboxes so I'm surprised that yours does allow it.

I don't mean to sound harsh but I think you need to put your foot down here - he's only 5 and he should be eating what you want him to have, not what he would like. Obviously some compromise is reasonable, as there's no point giving him stuff in his sandwiches that he hates for example.

He needs to realise that his lunch will consist of what you choose for him and that stealing other children's lunches is totally unacceptable. The school dinner threat is a good one if he would hate them! Maybe you could take him to the supermarket one weekend and let him choose or identify the sorts of foods he would like to have in his lunchbox, but knowing that as mum the decision ultimately rests with you. If he likes things in packets maybe steer him towards the dried fruit, nuts, healthy cereal bars and cheeses.

Good advice from Sidge re taking him to the supermarket. I think some smaller schools (in my case anyway) don't have very strict rules on lunchboxes, that's my experience anyway.

My dd (5) only has packed lunches 2 days but of course everybody else has chocolate every day etc just like the op's son. Even reception age children like the "proper" wrappers/brands.

I compromise by supplying things like cheese strings and branded yogurts. Not what I would choose but better than (imo) letting her have choc/crisps every day.

I also decant crisps into small bags, say one third of a small pack into a little bag.

I have considered taking him to the supermarket but I am reluctant to because there would be so many limits I would have to put on his choice it might just end up frustrating for us both.

He does have healthy cheeses, fruits, cereal bars etc already so nothing special there for him! He doesn't like cheese strings and doesn't want yoghurts in his lunchbox cos they're messy apparently. I'm also a very ethical buyer so I don't like buying too much packaged stuff anywya. Hsnce the battles as he wants to be like the other kids who get all the usual wrapped stuff. I will compromise part of the way.

He's a very good eater, loves healthy food too, wants to be a chef when he grows up (!) so there's a lot of passion behind his feelings for food. Hence the battle for control we've had between us over food all his life really.

I don't mind the odd trea

odd treat too I mean!