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Original poster

trouble with 5 yr old eating

19 replies

katiekittlemouse · 03/02/2009 17:29

for about the 4th day running now I have thrown dd's dinner in the bin. she either picks at her food or refuses to eat it. I try not to make a fuss but it is driving me mad. She eats all her packed lunch at school, then has a small snack at 3.30pm when she gets in. Dinner is usually at 5pm which I don't think is too early.

Tonight she is now getting in the bath and going to bed early without having her cup of milk which she loves. Tomorrow she will not get a snack when she gets in from school.

I am not sure how to handle this, but she's a bad eater at the best of times... I want to encourage her to eat her meals and reward for good behaviour, but I am in despair and feel very angry with her.

Has anyone experienced this or offer advice on how to handle?

frustrated! grrrrrrr!

OP posts:
Original poster
katiekittlemouse · 03/02/2009 17:43

bumping for myself!

OP posts:
livvylouis · 03/02/2009 18:12

Have you tried having one of dd's friends around for dinner, I know my dd eats a lot better when we have guests around. It maybe why she eats better at school?

Good luck!

Original poster
katiekittlemouse · 03/02/2009 18:30

she sits with her older sister every mealtime, and she is a really good eater...

thanks for advice though

OP posts:
livvylouis · 03/02/2009 18:53

Does she help prepare dinner with you? Sometimes letting my dd help with dinner or laying the table etc helps.

fivecandles · 03/02/2009 19:05

Do you eat with her. I think modelling good eating behaviour yourself is the very best thing you can do. YOu describe yourself as angry when she doesn't eat and she almost certainly picks up on this. You need to make eating together pleasurable. If she doesn't eat after encouragement give absolutely no attention (bad or good) just take plate away with no fuss. Do not hover - get stuck in yourself with lots of 'mmms' and praising your other dd.

Also, give her some control. Making own pizza for example or putting lots of little bits on a platter with dips so she can choose herself.

Lots of bits of fruit for her to make faces with etc .

Make it fun - so you can still do the, 'I bet dd2 can't eat that tomato while I go and get a drink of water' then feign astonishment when she has!

Also, the providing a sports commentary sometimes works 'Oh, no DD2 has picked up a fork, she's aiming, Oh my word, she's about to score, it's a goooallll'

You might think she's too young for all this but she's probably not.

fivecandles · 03/02/2009 19:08

If she's eating all her lunch at school it does suggest she may be attention seeking from you, or just tired, or just not very hungty.

When my dds don't eat, I've learned to trust their judgement. THey need to learn to listen to their tummies and recognize hunger pangs for themselves. So I take food away without a fuss and am fairly confident that they will eat the next meal.

bigTillyMint · 03/02/2009 19:11

Well, a friend's childminder managed to get friends son eating veg (after years of problems), by not giving a snack after school, so he was hungry

MrsBoo · 03/02/2009 19:12

My DD has turned into a really fussy non-eater too. Its hard not to make a big fuss isn't it.
She has decided she only likes chicken curry (preferably without the chicken) or fish fingers.
I am trying the low key approach, as I don't want it to become a huge issue between us. I had a really bad relationship with food growing up - so am desparate for her to have a more normal one

Othersideofthechannel · 03/02/2009 19:27

If she's not very hunbgry, perhaps she could have her bath first then eat around 6pm.

jicky · 03/02/2009 19:34

Either cut out the snack and keep the meal as normal, or if she seems hungry at that time, have the meal then and then a snack before bed.

Mine can be quite small eaters and would faff with food if they have an after school snack, so only get one on days when they either have sport after school or when I know dinner will be later.

Original poster
katiekittlemouse · 04/02/2009 14:25

thanks for all the comments. She is only having a v. small snack when she gets in from school, ie. a squeezy yoghurt or breadstick. Will do dinner at normal time, ie. 5pm or just after and see what happens.
On afterthought I know I am wrong to get angry and should just take food away without fuss so she is not getting any attention.

I do eat most meals with the kids, ie. breakfast and weekends, but dh doesn't get in til late so we normally eat together later when kids in bed. however, I do sit at the table with them when they eat, normally with a cup of tea and we talk about the day at school etc.

OP posts:
DoThisDoThat · 04/02/2009 18:12

Well katie, you're a better woman than me - I've just had a full on fit with my DSs who, for the 5th day in a row (and before that, at least every second day), have mucked about and refused to eat what I gave them for dinner, which I'd spent an hour making. I'm fucking sick fed up of it. They've gone to bed now with no dinner or supper and I've told them I'm not making them dinner anymore. I am a heinous, horrible cow to have lost it like that I know, so no flaming please. Just at the end of my tether.

pinkie08 · 04/02/2009 19:13

Hi Katie

my dd was a terrible eater and i had many appointments with doctors and all sorts. The one thing i found helped and even use it now is MINADEX. it says use when recovering from illness but can be used all the time and it really increases appetite, fairly quick response too.

If you dont think she will like the taste i put it in morning oj as its orange flavour and i think they have now brought out a chewy version but i havent tried that one.

Otherwise i might wait til 5.30 to give dinner so that maybe they are asking to eat.

Hope that helps

Othersideofthechannel · 05/02/2009 05:48

DoThisDoThat, everyone loses it from time to time.

If I DH and I aren't going to eat the same food as DCs (whether at the same time or later on) I always give them something really simple and quick to prepare like egg on toast with carrot dips.

It's easier to be relaxed about stuff not being eaten when you haven't put much effort in and it doesn't have to mean offering them rubbish.

DoThisDoThat · 05/02/2009 06:12

Thankyou Otherside. You are right! It was compounded by the baby not eating my lovingly prepared Annabel Karmel recipe dinners. He's 7 months, bless him, and doesn't seem to like spinach

Will do the easy option from now on.

Othersideofthechannel · 05/02/2009 08:54

I'm a third child and I think my mum had given up trying on the first two. I was never offered spinach until I was a teenager and I have loved it ever since.

wishes · 14/02/2009 01:25

If it's attention-seeking, then the solution would be to give more undivided attention in a quite other context. Then see if the eating miraculously improves.

JodieO · 14/02/2009 01:46

Why are you angry? Surely she knows when she is hungry and not you? It's not good to try to make children eat when they aren't hungry; she will learn to not realise the feelings she gets when she's full if you do that.

Just let her eat when she wants to imo. Little and often is best for all of us, not 3 big meals a day. Far better to split it up into more.

JodieO · 14/02/2009 01:48

Oh and Dothisdthat, I'd ditch the puree if I were you and just give the same food everyone else gets, far better imo and I did that with my ds2 (3rd baby) and he eats everything.

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