18month old every fussy when with me but not others, help.......

[newlysinglemummy]

My dd constantly messing around with me, whatever I cook her she eatsalittle or none then refuses to eat the rest. But keeps asking for food. I'm sure she wants me to put on a buffey every night.

When she is with other family members she does not do this and eats whatever they are eating.

It is so annoying as I really want her to eat because if not she will wake up in the night asking for food.

Any advice welcome. Also she is teething at the moment. But when she was with my sister yesterday she ate loads.

bump - any ideas

My friend has the same problem and watching her trying to feed her 15 month old, know what her problems with him stem from - she offers alternatives if he refuses! And if he refuses that she offers something else and something else etc etc... until he gets something he's happy with. (Ususally un-nutritious, choclatey or whatever). His grandparents and childminder don't give him alternatives and he knows it, so eats whatever they give straight off. She is so scared he won't eat at all and is scared of putting him down for afternoon nap hungry, which is why she does it, but she is perpetuating his problem all the time and can't see it... Could that be whats happening in your house? xx

My dd does this its very irratating. Don't take it personally though.
I have found asking a friend round for tea helps, as does making a 'train' or eating one bit for mummy one bit for baby.
Other than that I will be watching for more tips

bigusb - i think you could be right, but now that i have started this it is going to be hard to get out of it.

For example, tonight I made a lovely risotto which dd has never eaten before so i do not know if she likes it or not.

Sorry just realised what i wrote and cansee that is the problem, i should just make her eat it or not eat i suppose? then she would soon start to eat most foods right?

I get what I should do but any idea how long it might be untill i can fix this problem?

she is asking for food now, should i offer more risotto?

18 months is a typical age for children to be fussy (aka rebellious) about many things.

Of course she won't do it for you, she's testing her boundaries!

Just go with the flow and don't make her eat.
Stay calm.

its not that i'm trying to make her eat, she will not eat what I give her then keeps asking for food, tonight she didn't eat her risotto then I gave her weetabix 2hours later as she moaned so much that I gave in.

I am annoyed with me and her at the moment, I always give in.

I would try and keep it relaxed, wouldn't worry if it appears she isn't eating too much as no toddler will let themselves starve! Make sure you offering healthy, varied food and that she sees you eating and you eat together. What I would do is If she doesn't eat her dinner then don't make any comment on it (not easy when you have spent ages cooking!) offer pudding as usual and then leave it at that. If she appears hungry later then offer fruit, toast or cereal (as you did!) Deffinately do not give her anything to eat if she wakes the night as that will not help on any level!!!

It sounds like you are doing fine, kids test you - thats their job! If she see that not eating gets a reaction from you she will keep doing it IMO, so try not to react, good luck!

Its really difficult isnt it. They really test you when they get to this age to see what they can get away with. I always get upset when I make my little boy whos nearly 2 a nice casserole or something and then he turns his nose up or it gets thrown on the floor, then I give in and give him something he will eat. If I didnt give in he'd go hungry and I couldn't do that to him.

You have my sympathies, I have almost 3yo who's up to same kind of stuff. It's really hard to hold to 'proper' meal structure with insane, hunger driven tantrums going on. I tend to bung her food to even out moods and have fallen into problems of HUGE fussiness.

the thing that is the biggest problem is when he will not eat things that I know she likes. Usually she loves ham and cheese toasties and tuna sandwiches, but recently when i give them to her she goes mad. Same with jacket potatoes, just cannot find anything she will eat other than cerel sometimes.

Don't keep offering different choices offer one choice ie this what we are having for lunch or dinner and thats it if she chooses not to eat it then thats up to her but def do not keep changing what is on the menu! Having set meal times will help and set snack times - stick to them and be strict, once she knows you are serious she will stop messing you about I promise!

Sorry, had to go offline immediately after offering you my answerlast night! But reading everyones replies too, i think you have had some good advice. Give her what you are all eating and if she doesn't eat it, thenyou have to be tough for a few days. The good thing is, that if she refuses lunch, she will be properly hungry by teatime, so will probably eat what you make then! Don't offer alternatives! It will only take about 4 or 5 days and you will have cracked it, IF YOU DON'T GIVE IN! She won't starve.

Do you ever give her pasta? My toddler eats a lot of pasta (penne or the twirly ones). Chuck loads of veg or frozen peas in the cooking water and abit of sauce, or just ome butter and cheese. Or pesto! My sons are mad on pasta with pesto and cheese at the moment!