Going without at teatime - what would you do?

[katmam]

My dd1 (2.4 years) is fussy about trying new foods. She is being brought up as a vegetarian (who eats fish) and her diet is basically OK, although she doesn't eat many vegetables (although I've discovered that mashing them in with buttered tatties seems to go down OK).

My question is this: if she won't try any new meals, should I make her go without tea? My dh is of the opinion that if she doesn't eat what she's given, she goes without, but I feel really awful about the fact that she hasn't had anything to eat (or only had a few mouthfuls) and breakfast will be a good 14 hours away.

What would you do? Any advice gratefully received!

Try and offer the more exotic foods at lunchtime and stick to tried-and-tested favourites at teatime. That way if she refuses its only a few hours until teatime.

I used to worry that my DS would wake up in the night from hunger if he didn't eat his tea so would give him a dry brown bread roll to eat just before bathtime. Hardly a reward for fussy eating but fairly healthy and filling.

I'm terrible I'm afraid. If dd (22mths) doesn't eat her dinner then I do offer her something later on. I was told by heath visitors not to make a fuss about food in general. I am of the view now that if I offer it and she says no then I done my bit so try not to get two wound up when I've offered her a lovely homemade meal and she doesn't touch it! My friend has suggested that you should offer her dinner and leave it in front of her for 20 mins. If she doesn't eat then remove it and don't offer her anymore til the next meal (a bit difficult when its the last meal of the day!). I would imagine that at 2.4 yrs your dd can tell you if she is hungry and perhaps then you could offer her something plain and healthy., i.e. not a treat because then she will think she can bypass dinner and always get her treat. Its all very complicated!

Personally I think it is unreasonable only to offer new foods which you know your dd might not like. I'd try a small amount of new food along with something you know she will eat - and don't make a big deal out of it if she doesn't want to try it. Obviously if she refuses to eat something she normally likes, then I'd conclude she isn't hungry and wouldn't offer an alternative.

I think it is very normal at this age to be conservative about foods - if her diet is basically ok, I really wouldn't worry too much about it.

I know feeding toddlers is an issue which causes a great deal of stress to many parents, myself included, and it seems to get worse if the child sees that you are stressed. I try hard not to get worked up and let ds1 have chicken nuggets (or whatever)every day until he gets bored.
My main objective is to see that that he eats something from each food group during the day, so if he didn't eat any veg I give him apples or raisens or anything I can get him to eat.
I do get really fed up when he announces that he eats lasagne (or roast chicken or pizza etc) at nursery but he doesn't eat them at home. Why, why why???

katman, I'd say as long as what she does eat is healthy I'd try not to worry about her trying new things too much. So no, I wouldn't make her go without tea because she won't try something, I'd just make sure the alternative is healthy too. But I wouldn't spend hours preparing it either! I'd probably make her wait until I'd finished though before getting something else (unless she can get it herself.) And I'd make sure it was something easy for me to do, like grapes or yoghurt or apple. Keep offering new things in the hope that she'll try one day but try not to get worked up about it or to let her see that it's getting to you. Good luck.

Thanks everyone. Perhaps I should resign myself to the fact that she'll be living on Quorn sausages and burgers for the next wee while!

(Elliot - I always give her something she's had before with a new dish so she's at least "half" familiar with the meal! She's never refused anything she normally likes - she would probably live on sausages and beans!)

I have a very fussy 4 year old boy. My other 4 boys have all been reasonably good eaters but this-the youngest- is very stubborn. The trouble is that he is very thin and is not bothered if he has food or not-he will just go without if he does not eat his meal, so threats of no treats-desserts or sweets-simply does not work.
I have always had a policy of not offering alternative meals with the other boys, but Im afraid we do give in with this one in desperation- and basically give him anything healthy that he will actually eat on a given day. He still has minimal food intake, but we tend to supplement at the end of the day with milkshakes just to get the protein and vitamins in.

I have a very fussy 4 year old boy. My other 4 boys have all been reasonably good eaters but this-the youngest- is very stubborn. The trouble is that he is very thin and is not bothered if he has food or not-he will just go without if he does not eat his meal, so threats of no treats-desserts or sweets-simply does not work.
I have always had a policy of not offering alternative meals with the other boys, but Im afraid we do give in with this one in desperation- and basically give him anything healthy that he will actually eat on a given day. He still has minimal food intake, but we tend to supplement at the end of the day with milkshakes just to get the protein and vitamins in.

AnnieG, have you tried drinking yoghurt? I've yet to find a child who dosen't like it, it can be offered without fuss or comment, and at least you know they're getting some decent food in them.