If your kids won't eat their tea, would you send them to bed hungry?

[rickman]

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No. I was sent to my bed w/no tea or supper for refusing what was offered. My dad grew up going hungry and still considers food sacred.

I always think that if DS refuses his tea then he's not hungry. If I don't think he's eaten much that day I might give him a milkshake and abiscuit a bit later. It's not usual though - I appear to be fortunate in that he usually eats what's given with no fuss.

No, don't feel guilty. I'd send them to bed hungry - they soon get the message

I always was sent to bed hungry if I didn't eat my meals as itended to be a bit fussy. It didn't last long as i soon learnt my lesson and ate what was given to me.

I would not worry about it.

Yup - she eats what she's given. If it is something new and she obviously just doesn't like it, then I don't give it to her again.

I meant to say eats what she is given, or goes to bed hungry...

Don't feel guilty at all. I do this (quite) regularly with dd but it only last for a few evenings at a time and then she gets the message (but forgets it again just as quickly, lol). The trick is not to give in. Oh god, I'm making myself sound like a real heartless mother - I'm not honestly - I'm just not prepared to be messed around at mealtimes when I know that she eats perfectly well, whatever is put in front of her at nursery/the childminders/grandmas house etc. When she is going through her 'good' eating phases, I will do the bribery/blackmail type thing where she is able to pick 3 things that she wants to eat (invariably sweet things, surprise surprise) eg some grapes, a satsuma, a yogurt, a biscuit, a box of raisins, a treat size bag of choccie buttons etc etc, then we divide her plate up into 3 and as she finishes each third she 'earns' one of her choices. It works to a point, but she normally only manages to earn 2 at the most, but I never give in and the ones she hasn't earnt go back in the cupboard.
I am a big believer in children knowing when they need food and when they don't and they're not stupid - they won't let themselves starve - they'll eat when they're hungry.

I have even served up the rejected meal at the next mealtime - but only when I know my child is being fussy, not if I thought they were ill or genuinely didn't like something. Actually, I found doing that very successful. Dd ate the rejected meal and then went on to have the next meal as well!

Can i join in this discussion? I just wanted to say that I believe in sticking to my guns and sending my son (Y) who is 6 to bed without his food if he won't eat, but my hubbie will go behind my back and slip him whatever he wants as he disagrees with what he calls starving a child. Does anybody else have that happen to them?

Sahara, we also have disagreements over this issue..dh also thinks I'd be starving them if I sent them to bed hungry. I've pointed out that children who haven't eaten in days are starving, not those who've missed a meal. Our compromise is one slice of toast with a scraping of butter if they are very hungry, just before bedtime. I'm weak, I know...

I have to accept that compromise in front of my son so that my son doesn't think he is winning or managing to cause problems. But really I think that dh is just a bit wrong on this one. So I'm weak aswell.

Yes have done this lots of times - give the message loud and clear now that you won't stand for any nonsense. My older three 13, 11 and 9 eat everything in sight. Currently if my 2 yo chucks his food or refuses to eat it, after two or three attempts of trying to persuade him then it goes in the bin no question. He is cottoning on to this now and realises there is no pudding either and nothing til the next meal time. Hard, horrible thing to do but worth it in the end.

if they don't eat tea, ergo, they're not hungry, right?

Ds tends to eat his meals, we all try and eat together to make it a social thing. Admittedly he doesnt always eat everything but he eats most of it and if he has room for pudding he can have some (if we have any in ). I try not to make an issue over meal/food (too many crappy memories of that as a child)..

I dont know if many families eat together at a table but i think it is important to have tv off, sit at table and talk about day over dinner. (it also saves getting food all over sofa )