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HELP...DS's eating habits deteriorating fast and I haven't got a clue what to do! (Long)

6 replies

ilovespinach · 30/11/2008 13:22

My eldest son's (2.7) eating habits haven't been great for a while - in fact I've even posted on here before about whether it's possible to survive by eating bananas alone....

Anyway, as you can tell by the title, things aren't going so well. We are down to 2 hot dishes and a few other things like toast and plain bread....The limitation is kind of ok so long as he eats...

He's not even eating these at the moment though, in fact he's not eating much of anything. He asks for food and I make it and then he doesn't eat it. For example lunch today, I made a Sunday dinner and ds1 had pasta pesto with some carrots, brocolli and peas on the side. He looked at the carrots etc and was talking how delicious they were....But then he refused to eat -even the pasta pesto which is normally a favorite and was asking for chocolate. I said no and then he started asking for a yoghurt, banana, bread - anything apart from what was infront of him....This isn't the first time and he's starting to behave like this all the time. It's almost as if food is too much of a distraction for him and he would rather play....He would also rather drink milk then eat and I sometimes have the feeling that he leaves his tea on purpose as he knows that he will have a bottle of milk before bedtime.

My question is what do we do????? Do we just give him what he wants??? But, if we do this, how will he ever understand that he has to eat his main meal? I'm completely at a loss here.

In complete contrast, Ds2 (11 months), loves food and eating - a vibe I've never had from Ds1.

I know he won't starve himself but I think we have a serious problem here.

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 30/11/2008 13:31

You have to put a meal in front of him and then make him aware that there will never be an alternative, not ever. Otherwise he will keep on asking. If he doesn't eat it then it is his choice. It sounds like he has had a taste - excuse the pun - of power and is exercising it. How is his weight/growth?

I would be inclined to cut down on the evening bottle of milk and just make it a small beaker.

cheesesarnie · 30/11/2008 13:34

i agree with TheProvincialLady .

i was like thisi didnt starve.my parents used to try force feeding me etc.wait till its cold.blah blah blah.it became a game.i got attention.

FiveDollarShake · 30/11/2008 13:35

My DS's diet is appalling too. He's 3.3 yrs and used to eat everything offered until he reached the terrible twos, and it went downhill from there. He eats NO hot meals! He basically survives on bread, bananas, rice cakes, crackers, milk, scrambled egg, soft cheese, marmite, peanut butter.
I worry about it...or course I do but I have accepted that I cannot force him to eat! It just becomes a power struggle that I cannot win!
My advice would be to keep offering him the meals that he will usually eat and if he doesnt eat it after say 10-20 mins just remove it. Dont make a big fuss about it. Dont offer an alternative though. If he's hungry enough he will eat. If he does eat something praise him and tell him he's a good/big boy etc.
Its really hard to know what to do in these situations but it sounds like he might be testing his boundaries etc and seeing what your reaction will be etc.

ilovespinach · 30/11/2008 13:45

thanks for the feedback
He's not underweight although it's difficult to tell as he's grown a bit recently...

Seems like we are doing it completely wrong - we have just given him a slice of bread and 2 nanas because we don't want to make an issue out of the food thing. We always praise him when he eats but maybe he does get more attention from not eating. It's so difficult to know what to do

OP posts:
pooka · 30/11/2008 13:48

ivedollarshake = you are talking about my ds!

He is exactly the same, though for scrambled egg, substitute sausages.

No pasta, no potato, no chips, no eggs.

But he does eat fruit and will eat carrot/baby corn as veg.

Grr

TheProvincialLady · 30/11/2008 13:58

We had issues with DS not eating/not eating much variety and this is what worked for us:

  1. Not making a big fuss whether he ate or not - I mean, it is neither 'good' nor 'bad' to eat is it?
  2. 3 meals a day, eaten as much as possible with the family
  3. A small snack in between meals, nothing too filling
  4. Only water between meals
  5. Put the meal in front of him - ideally the same as everyone else is having, even if that means everyone eats pasta and pesto for a week
  6. Introduce new foods very slowly in conjunction with meals you know he likes. Encourage him to taste but don't make an issue of it.
  7. Take the plate away when the meal is over for everyone - no comment on what has been eaten

DS is 2.4 and we had issues with him from about 14m...it has worked for us and now we can be a lot more flexible about what we do. He is a very good eater now. I think a lot of food issues are about modelling good eating habits and not letting it become about control.

HTH

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