2 year old fussy eayer! Will it be like this forever??!!

[clarebear1]

My daughters 2 and half she used to eat loads of different stuff when she was weaning,then since about 9 months ago shes starting being really picky. She has the same mostly every day for breakfast,lunch and dinner.
Ur all prob gonna say give her something new and if she dnt eat it then she goes without,she will eat when shes hungry, but ive tried that, shes a stubborn one.
She wont eat nothing with a sauce on,no beans,pasta,veg its driving me crazy!
Dont know how to get round this,is she gonna be this way forever??!!

you do already no the answer

its written in your post

andshe maybe stubborn but she wont starve herself to death.... you just need to be more stubborn

you feed her what you want her to eat and thats all.... and she can have what you offer her at meal time, or else have nothing but water until next meal...

repeat repeat repeat for as long as it takes

Hi Clarebear,

I also have a fussy little eater who likes most things at weaning but for the past year or so has been cutting out different meals. We are currently left with only 2 choices for lunch or dinner

He is also very stubborn. I have tried the ''you eat this or there's nothing till the next meal'' approach and tbh I think it makes it worse as it makes an issue out of food and it makes them realise that we are upset about what they are eating....

At the moment, I am just giving my ds what he wants (obv not chocolate all the time I put a little something different on his plate so that he sees other foods eg tomorrow I will pack some carrot sticks with his packed lunch which I know he won't eat, but they will be there so he can try if he wants....

I think this is the best approach as it takes the pressure off and the child can see that food is nice and something to be enjoyed rather then the ''you eat it or you get nowt'' lesson...

Not sure if everyone will agree but this is what I think is best....

fanx for ur advice.
We had hope today,she ate bacon for the 1st time wahey!!

she is just being fussy and trying it on, and from what i am reading is suceeding

offer her 2 hoices for lunch/tea and cook which one she says

then if she doesnt eat it after 30mins take it away DO NOT offer anything else, no fruit or pudding and then offer 2 choices at next meal

she will eat when she is hungary, and no she wont starve herself.

what does she eat at the moment?

For breakfast the options are; toast (marmite,peanut butter,nutella), coissant or dry cereal.
Lunch: sandwich with the same filling as those she would have on toast,or ryvita with dairylea.
Dinner; chips,fish fingers,nuggets, peas (on a good day) raw carrots,pizza,waffles,sausages.
Dessert; yougurts,orange,apple,bite of banana.

This is the majority of what she eats obviously likes the usual junk food crisps,choc,sweets etc.

My DD was much the same although weaning was a nightmare from day one. She wouldn't eat anything beyond a couple of spoons of framage frais for months (that was once we could get the spoon in her mouth). she never took a bottle either. She survived for nearly a year on fish fingers and plain boiled spaghetti. Things really did start improving once I stopped stressing about things so much. I realised that whilst each meal might not be particularly well balanced, if I looked at things over a week it did even out. The first 'meal' she ate was McDonalds - there was much rejoicing. She has now started school. It was with much trepidation that I signed her up for school dinners, but to my amazement she is eating virtually everything put in front of her (I know - DS in Y2 is a great spy!) She is now eating normally for a 4yo. I think my advice would be try to relax. I don't think you can force a stubborn fussy eater to eat what you want. They have to come round to it in their own way. Keep offering new stuff, and praise highly when it is tried (even if not eaten), but do not punish when they don't eat what you want. It makes such an issue out of the whole food business. Good Luck.

nannyl what's your advice for me? DD will eat no vegetables whatsoever and with fruit, only berries. I compensate for this by secreting them in things where possible. She goes into fits if she's worried about what she'll be given and gets beside herself with rage at even the idea that I'd offer her one pea!! I can't do the starving thing because she'd get by on eating the rest of the meal. Alternatively I could offer her a meal of just veg and then starve her. I think she'd scream for a day if I did that!
She likes food, if it's what she likes, she's a hearty eater and behaves well at the table, so me making an issue of veg. I think just turns her off the idea of meals.

clairebear - tbh your daughters diet isnt that bad, i have seen much worse

i would try to cut out fish fingers and nuggets and offer either homemade shepherds pie, chicken casserole, fish pie, pasta and a sauce made of vg and then whizzed up

mayday -what age is your dd? she is controlling you but what you said - shes gets beside herself with rage if you offer a pea -

she is a child, you are the adult - there is no reason for temper tantrums over food, and if she does then firmly take away the meal and offer nothing till next meal time

i can promise you that no child will starve theirselves, i am not suggesting to just give veg, but maybe put 3 carrots etc on plate and say she has to eat them up or no pudding

My dd1 was a fussy eater and if we had used the old "she'll eat it or starve" rule, I swear she would have starved. She just would go the whole daywith nothing!

Second what Blondes say. Your dds diet isn't that bad.

DS 2.6 is a fussy eater, we have tried doing family meals, very hard for me as I work 4 days a week and almost impossible to get a dinner on the table within 30 mins of getting DS home. If he doesn't like it, which he invariably doesn't, then he gets bread and nothing else, but will get pudding.

Over the past couple of weeks I have seen him eating things he wouldn't eat before such as ham and chicken slices and carrot sticks dipped in hoummus. I think it will be a long time before he wolfs down the same meal as we do and I know a lot of young children hate mushy things with sauce, so I try to figure as long as he has a reasonably varied diet and it isn't too hard for me to get meals ready, then I will live with the situation for now.

Oh and I just wanted to say that making a big issue out of it often doesn't work.

On holiday DH decided that DS was going to eat the chicken, mashed potato, gravy and peas he had ordered for him. I was of the opinion that it would be nice if he would, but if he didn't then there was a bread roll he could eat.

DS ended up having massive strop, DH felt bad and eventually once DS had worked himself into a right state, gave him the bread roll, then because he felt guilty bought him a muffin.

I'm hoping that a more gradual approach of introducing new foods along with things I know he will eat, will work. Some other mumsnetter said that children can see a thing 20 times before they will accept it, so have to keep persevering with the uneaten vegetables.

rookie - what pudding do you give if your child doesnt eat (apart from his bread roll)

i would offer fruit, but no yogurt/jelly etc

puppymonkey - bet she woould eat the next day though

i am not normally in the habbit of starving children but they do need to learn that screaming and refusing to eat doesnt work with me

We are not big pudding eaters ( well to be more precise I am not a big pudding maker) so it would generally be fruit or yogurt,jelly or ice cream.

I don't like the idea of restricting pudding and offering only fruit afterwards if no meal has been eaten, because to me it reinforces the idea that fruit isn't a treat, whereas the other things are. Also if he hasn't eaten his meal then I feel that a yoghurt will offer a reasonable amount of nutrition.

Oh I honestly don't know what the right answer is, but apparently two of my male cousins were incredibly fussy eaters and they are both strong strapping men now with a varied taste in food, so I try not to get too wound up about it.

maydayanavickaz

you could be describing my charge 2 years ago....

he would not touch ANY veg at all...

just before he was 2, i got so fed up I went back to purees and ice cubes and putting carot / broccolli puree (or whatever) on his meat / mixing in with mash etc...

and did the weaning but again (he had a diff nanny from weaning til 11 month when i started)

Have persevered and persevered s i do know exactly what it is like..... (I think it took 18 moths of being consistent... veg in at least 2 or 3 forms with every meal regardless)

then went to bits if veg chopped extreamly small mixed in / on potatoe / meat / bolognese, and mashing a bi of carrot with mash pot etc...

then bigger bits...

as he was older he understood that if you dont at least try a tiny bite of veg you get no pudding...

he now eats every single veg on the planet (i think ) and actually enjoys eating them, and will often eat his veg 1st.

The key is to persevere for as long as it takes and it does work..., but ONLY if you are more stubborn than your child

at 20 months he did 23 hours of not eating a single mouthful of food (and was not offereded anything except the food for his meals (deliciouse nutritiouse food that myself and his brother loved)... 16 hours could be normal.... he now eats anything and everything at every meal

to me jelly/yogurt ice cream is a treat - though mine do have every day AFTER their fruit

where fruit isnt a treat, it is healthy

but yes eventually children will eat and grow in to strapping adults

Yeh i know my girls diets not that bad its just frustrating that its the same meals everyday,but i undastand what u r all saying thamnks!

if ua worried about ur dc eating habits ,talk to you health visitor. my dd4 refuses food all the time.shes got to the point that she gets food suppliments, on prescription. have tried EVERYTHING. getting angry doesnt work ,getting upset doesnt work,ignoring doesnt work, only thing you can do is be sneaky with adding "extras" into their food to increase the calorie intake.add butter,cream,oils ,cheese,and always give vitamins,Dietition told me to give puddings after every meal..doesnt matter so much if they dont eat their meal as long as they eat something.foe veg try giving it uncooked, some kids like it raw.

Clarebear - I've seen much worse diets in my sister's kids. They're older than my ds so I learnt early and was a food-nazi from the get go. As a result, he can still be a scrote challenge at mealtimes, but we keep the pressure off, put the vegetables on, and every once in a while he surprises us by being completely adventurous... The monotony gets to you, but have you tried the Dinner Lady cookbook? Especially when kids are coming up to school age you can put some advance peer-pressure on by saying that this is what the big boys and girls eat (but in an offhand way so they don't feel pressured). It also gives you a few more meal ideas, and saves a fortune on buying readymade stuff.

Re dessert - never really bothered, as me and dh don't usually. DS is used to yoghurt and fruit at lunchtime (as used to pack lunches for the childminder) and he's allowed fruit pretty much whenever, but apart from that pudding
s are a once in a blue moon treat for the whole family, and he generally only gets choc on a friday afternoon after school when all the other kids get a treat (he's in his 1st school term and I'm told finishing most of his school dinners - other people's kids also great spies).
Relax,persevere, make some interesting food for yourself and eat it in front of your DD. It all gets better in time