I just spent ages making a cake that looks rubbish and clearly did not work

[glitterkitty]

it tastes dissapointing and my 'buttercream icing' just ran down it and seperated

also cake is probably 1000,0000 calories. And I used up all the butter.

Why did I do this?! when i could have been on mumsnet...

I've done the crap cake thing too (for DS's b'day). There must be a "buttercream icing" gene that I missed out on!

I should have stuck with M&S.

I made some corn bread yesterday, normally a piece of - ahem - cake, but this time it is inedible It is gutting when you have gone to all the trouble.

Exactly dottoressa! They cost a couple of quid and taste lovely- my kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it there is buttercream everywhere.

And I poured about a pint of it down the sink- it grew as I tried to thicken it.

The pv what is corn bread? I have heard of it but never looked at recipe?

It is a savoury bread made with cornmeal (polenta), eggs, flour and milk. Very tasty normally - quite sweet and goes well with tomato sauces - and I can grate veg into it that my DS won't notice. I might as well have grated straight into the bin this time though.

I can make lovely buttercream - tell me what you did and I can make sure it works next time. Promise!

I have generally repressed my buttercream episode, but I think it involved stirring actual cream into the buttery mess. I just remember seeing a horrible curdled concoction in the pan...

Thanks seeker- think I know what happened...I mixed same weight butter and icing sugar together. So far so good. Then had to add coffee water mixture (supposed to be delish coffee and walnut cake). This made it too watery.

All went tits up from thereon...couldnt get it to thicken.

oooh. thepv. Sounds lovely- will have a go at that!

I feel your pain Glitterkitty. I was up until 2am last night making DD's birthday cake. The first one didn't rise at all so I sent DH out for more eggs and flour and made a second one.

By the time I was decorating the third one (yes you did read that right I attempted it three times ) I had vowed that next year DD will be having one off the shelf from Tesco. To make matter worse DD tunred her nose up at it and refused to eat it

BTW does anyone know how long buttercream is ok to be kept out of the fridge? I can't fit the cake in the fridge.

Oh God, we've just had the same issue with runny buttercream in this household too! trying to decorate a "dog" which also involved sticking curls of choc to it too. The Dog now looks cross eyed as the marzipan eyes slid with the icing and he appears to be licking his tummy as tongue has gone south too.

So come on seeker, tell us the secret!

Don't you use a ratio of twice as much icing sugar as butter when making butter cream? That's how I was taught to do it at school.

I was just going to post what falcon has. I made a Nigel Slater cake a couple of years ago that stated 400g icing sugar, 200g butter and have used that method ever since. Makes lovely firm buttercream that is not all sloppy. You can add flavours to that from that mixture.

My cake is coffee and walnut.

I use 400g icing sugar
200g butter
mix together
add coffee mix (2 teaspoons coffee mixed in 1 tablespoon boiling water)
add walnuts (60g or so chopped)

done!

I like half as much again sugar as butter - so 200g butter, 300g icing sugar. Then beat the butter like crazy with an electric whisk. Stir in the sugar and beat like crazy again. If it's too stiff a drop of milk, or cream if you've got it will loosen it, but don't do that til you've added any flavoring. Instant coffee dissolved in a tiny bit of hot water then cooled for coffee flavour.

YUM.