Is it just me or are meal times very stressful??

[ellasmum]

Hi..

After yet another exahausting lunchtime I have had to come on and check that I am not alone at midday everyday!!!

Does anyone else dread mealtimes?? I find the whole business of thinking what to give DD (she is 10 months), preparing it and then attempting to feed her it totally draining!!

I am desperately in need of good (and quick) food ideas as she doesn't seem to want to eat much of what I am giving her at the moment.

DD will eat fantastically when we go to restaurant and eats practically anything - however at home it is a different story.

Sorry to whinge but I am feeling really pi**ed off about it today.

It's really common around this age for them to start getting fussy. Do you eat with her? I think the social aspect can be quite important. Although it's hard too - I eat lunch with DS but not tea as he goes to bed early and DH is back late. I had lots of problems with DS(17months) around the age of your DD. Ending up only giving him finger food (fishfingers, fishcakes, carrot sticks, pasta with sauce he could pick up, sandwiches, mini pizza) and this really helped. Then gradually he would accept more 'grown up' food again especially once he mastered spoon & fork. Try not to fight about it - I know how annoying it is when you've made something and they won't eat it. DS always eats everything at nusery (where they all eat together) but quite often when I give him the same at home he refuses it.

Just try and think of things that don't take ages so if she doesn't eat it, it isn't quite so annoying.

Did you make your own fishcakes / pizzas etc..?? I have been using frozen ones and ready made ones and am feeling really guilty that I should be making everything myself as she is still so young. However if I did this I think I would end up going mad.

Or am I being oversensitive??

Hiya
no I don't make my own. I'm v lazy!
Seriously, sometimes I make my own pizzas but sainsburys blue parrot range is good. I try to give him a mix of foods so not too much processed stuff but at the end of the day you need to keep sane too and making endless dishes that end up on the floor is not good for sanity.

fresh veg, fresh fruit, toast fingers etc - all good as finger food

Ellasmum, both mine have been the same at this age. Currently going through it at the moment with dd. I find finger foods are the best bet, with me ready to sneak in spoonfuls of gunge when her mouth is open.
I give her pasta swirls, peas, sweetcorn, baked beans, bits of fruit, chips (don't tell anyone), bread sticks, bits of steamed carrot, parsnip.
She hates me spooning stuff in her mouth, so sometimes I get so fed up I just let her get on with the bowl of mushy stuff herself. It is horribly messy and requires a body bib!
Don't get too stressed about it, in a couple of months it will all be completely different.

Get a bib with long sleeves and let her get on with it!! My dd at about 10 - 12 months would not let me feed her at all. We did finger food, and it is amazing in our house what constitutes finger food! Pasta shapes, mashed potato, cooked veggies (I bought bags of frozen mixed veg and microwaved a handful).

The only thing I ever used to cook was a vat of Turkey cassorole with veggies and potato in it and then froze it in bagged portions. This meant one cassorile would make 10 portions and last in teh freezer for a month.

I still do this now for my 2 yr old and 4 yr old. Once a month I'll make a large lasagne, a shephards pie, fish pie etc and then freeze in portions. This means about 20 -30 meals are in teh freezer. Preparation is a doodle with a microwave and stress is avoided.

Mealtimes are definitely stressful! Our 14 month ds is wonderful - great sleeper, v. happy, but a real pain at meal times!

The only thing he'll eat every time is pasta and pesto - the fresh pesto from Sainsbury's or Tesco's is really nice - just stir in a bit to cooked pasta. He'll also have bits of broccoli and/or tuna stirred in with this on a good day...!
The other thing he usually likes is a ham and tomato sandwich (although last night he refused this..!)

Other than that it's v. up and down. Today he's eaten an omelette - but only for the second time in his life!

We've found that the only way not to go completely mad is to stop worrying about it - over a period of weeks he eats enough, but it usually consists of a few good days, few really bad days etc.....

Good luck and keep persevering!

Thats what I do for DH and me, Crunchie.... In fact DS sounds very much like your DD - and at 10 months had no problem eating a full Christmas dinner, including pudding with his fingers. I have always microwaved bowls of peas which he used to eat with his fingers but now uses a spoon. Cut grapes in half, half a banana, pieces of cheese all went down well.

We actually use one of those painting cover ups made of plasticky stuff with elasticated wrists. Even with this, I still discover errant bits of pasta in her nappy and other extraordinary places.

Yes I hate mealtimes. DS (15mths) is lovely but very picky - no tomatoes, no pasta, no cheese, no red meat (so not much I eat, and no convenience foods like pasta sauces, spaghetti, BB etc). He would happily live off Marmite sandwiches and yoghurt but my conscience doesn't let me get away with it! One of the pluses of working is that I have 3 days where I don't have to worry about what DS will eat. If your DD will eat sandwiches then that's one meal a day sorted though. Funnily enough, as with others on this list, fishcakes ARE a hit, and very easy to make if you ignore the recipes which are far too complicated - just open a can of tuna (or poach some cod/salmon), add to mash potatoes, shape into cakes, coat in breadcrumbs and fry! I add peas and sweetcorn to kid myself that he is eating veges as well.

Hi there, hope someone can help. Ds is 17 months old and refuses to eat chunky items and finger foods, unless he eyes a chocolate out. When I do offer finger foods he chucks it and refuses to eat himself. He will eat more mashed food no problem and will wolf it down (provided I feed him). When I eventually get him to eat more solid stuff he proceeds to throw up. Is he just being lazy? Also he is teething really badly at the moment, could that be why he wants mushy food? I'm running out of ideas.....

Has this just started? Did he used to eat finger foods? If so then I would say he could be teething, or just plain lazy and enjoying winding you up!

If it has always been like this then I am not sure if I can help! Only to say my 1st dd wouldn't eat finger foods until she was about 16 - 18 months, and she chucked up every meal if it wasn't 4 month baby mush until she was a year!

DD no2 was total oppoite, see other post!

I'm a big fan of mashed potato in it's myriad of forms. I shove cheese, shredded spinach and random veggies into the mix. I've even caught dh mashing black pudding into it. If you make it firm enough, they can eat it with their hands as well as with a spoon.

I also work on the "It's always more interesting if mummy's eating it" theory, so I make sure I'm nibbling on something (healthy) at the same time. She thinks she's getting a huge treat if she can have some of my cheese or orange.

At least you don't have a gormet child. Last week we had dinner with the in laws. They like to finish with cheese and biscuits, so had a large plate of cheeses on the table. The sluglet demanded a piece of each different cheese, including stilton and brie, and ate them all before deciding that the gold medal winning caerphilly was the one she really liked. It'll be foie gras next.

Lukesmummy - personally I would feed him mushy stuff if he likes it. I don't know anyone ten year olds who insist on being spoon fed, so I think it's likely he will grow out of it. It may also be teeth. My ds sometimes only wants to eat yoghurt when his uncomfortable as the cold smoothness is soothing to him. I think that as long as you offer a range of healthy choices then your child will be OK. I honestly would hate it if someone stood over me fretting while I was eating. I even get cross if my dh tries to persuade me to eat if I'm not hungry, so I don't ever push food on my ds. The best advice I ever got when ds was tiny and I was fretting about bathwater temperature, blankets, feeds etc etc was 'they are just small human beings' - ie they are remarkably similar to big ones and like warm baths and have varying appetites. Sometimes I'd prefer a bit of chocolate and a cup of tea to lunch. Sometimes I have a big lunch and don't fancy supper. I think we often attach too many moral & emotional values to food - I really try not to call ds a good boy for eating, for example (though I do if he's trying to feed himself). I never use it as punishment - ie no pudding if you don't eat your main course and try to encourage him to enjoy his food instead, whether it's a biscuit, a marmite sandwich or a lump of cheese. If he doesn't want to eat, I truly don't mind. If he doesn't fancy his fish pie but wants banana and yoghurt, and I was going to give him banana & yoghurt anyway, then I give it to him.

wise words as ever aloha, sometimes it's best just to go with the flow. They won't starve themselves, will they?

My DS would only eat mush up until 13 months, anything that even looked remotely like a lump meant a pool of sick on the high chair table - Nice! He's now 18 months and still not brilliant with chewing, but getting there. I always try and eat my lunch with him as that does help. Theres a web site Here That contains loads of other web sites for kiddies food. Have fun! and don't worry, just go with her, if she doesn't want it, tell her thats OK. At the end of the day she isn't going to starve herself and apparently if they are really hungry they eat anything.

My 14 month old has gone through different phases - not liking solids, eating everything, only wanting finger foods. My top tip at the moment is Cheerios. She has them as a snack at any time of day; they always shut her up. You could even give then as a breakfast cereal! At the moment she onlt seems to like Cheerios, Ready Brek, cheese, grapes, avocado and banana, oh, and Fab ice lollies. I usually give her 1 meal a day of these finger foods. Less stress, less waste. I am sure she will want proper food again before too long. Also she wont drink any milk, just what's in her food. Don't tell the Heath Visitor!