Candy Candy Candy

[Corbin]

I'm torn as to which way to go regarding candy. A little bit, or none ever? My first thought is NO CANDY. Candy is sugar, sugar is bad, right? Here's why I can't decide how to act:

Candy and sugar of most kinds was completely banned from my sisters and I as children. It was a big big no-no to be caught with contraband jolly ranchers if it wasn't halloween.

I am obsessed with all things sweet. I have to exercise extreme self-control to keep myself from eating candy, cookies, cake, ice-cream or anything with sugar in it until I am ill. If there is ice cream in the freezer, cookies in the pantry etc. it's always on my mind. I struggle terribly with my weight, as do my mom and my sisters. My dad has never had a sweet tooth and is like my dh. Dad was raised eating four spoonfuls of sugar on his cheerios.

Dh and his siblings were not restricted candywise. They weren't allowed to gorge, but it was okay to have a bit of candy every day if they wanted it, or cookies, ice cream etc.

Dh can take candy or leave it. He likes it if offered, but he doesn't think of eating it himself. He will leave a pint of ice-cream in the freezer until it has formed ice crystals and never think about it until he goes to look at something and realizes the ice-cream has gone off and has to be thrown out. Dh is very slim, as is his entire family.

Does anyone else have thoughts on this? I'm leaning toward moderate consumption rather than prohibition.

I think that there should be everything in moderation. Ds is allowed a biscuit if I go out for coffee with anyone. He also occasionally has chocolate buttons. He loves sweet things, but only gets them if he eats his lunch/dinner properly. I do not bribe him with sweets, so no, 'If you eat your dinner, you can have chocolate', but give it as a bonus.

I too was only allowed sweets once a week, and am totally addicted. I think that my nieces, who had chocolate every day, are much less food centred than me, so maybe that says something?

I think moderation is the right way. Don't treat it as a "treat" as such or make it out to be something special but allow it in sensible amounts.

I agree that moderate consumption is better than prohibition, although when I was younger I was allowed whatever sweets stuff I wanted and still eat loads now. However, when it comes to dd1 she not allowed any form of sweets, ie, chocolates, ice cream, lollies, biscuits, even crisps before lunch and then when she has eaten her lunch can she either have something sweet wait until later. If I let her she would gladly eat chocolate, ice cream and drumstick lollies all day long

Corbin, I started off with 'my child will never have sweets, oh no' to the point where I remember saying to my dad 'please don't bring him chocolate, we don't allow it' Looking back, what a po faced cow I must have seemed - he was only bringing his 2 yo grandson a small bar of chocolate!

Like you, I grew up with very few sweets and there was only ever healthy food in the house ('if you want something else to eat, there's a yoghurt or an apple' ). As soon as I had my own money I ate all the junk I could get my hands on because I could and because it was previously forbidden. So I think total prohibition is bad news. And mean!

Now I don't have sweet things in the house often because it's just not my habit to buy them but I don't prohibit them. So we have to make the effort to go and get them if I decide we can have some. I like the idea that eating sweets and chocolate is normal and acceptable, just not all the time. I have used them as bribery too, although I take the point about food being used as reward and sort of agree that you shouldn't really. What the hell though, it makes for an easier life some days!

I think there probably is a middle ground and that's the approach I try to take. I'm a lot stricter than other friends though who have huge tins of treats in the house. If I had them in the house I know ds would hassle me constantly for them, which is what he does if he knows I have something sweet in the house. So maybe I've already sown the seeds of a similar childhood to my own. He stayed with my mum for a bit recently and was handed the biscuit tin (yep, she has one NOW, when we've all left home!) She wondered where he was 5 minutes later and found him sitting at the top of the stairs cramming as many biscuits into his mouth at a time as he could, poor deprived child Hey, what am I doing giving advice, as you can see, I seem to have got it completely wrong!

I'm for the all things in moderation. Corbin I know how you feel though. My DH is very slim too (as are his family)and no matter how much he eats he doesn't put on weight! Ho Hum! He never gorges but always has some sweet stuff every day. I'm a little more like you. I know there is chocolate in the fridge and it's a real battle limiting myself to 2 small pieces. Even so my weight is creeping up again.

I don't think sweet things are bad but I think there is a time and a place. For DS (17mo) I try to keep sweet things down to dessert at lunch (yoghurt/fruit compote/fruit crumble) and cake/biscuit (mostly homemade so I can keep the suger down) at tea-time. My greatest temptation is to snack between meals - something that is inconceivable in DH's world. I'm hoping DS is going to grow up as reasonable as his father and not "have a thing" about sweet stuff.

At one time i said that if they ate their meals they could have something else after it. I offered them yoghurts, fruit etc but all they wanted was sweets. After a while i decided they would eat as much sweets as possible if i allowed it and as it was a struggle getting the youngest to eat much of his meals i rationed sweets to fridays as a treat. They have things like cake and custard occasionally during the week or choc ices but usually yoghurts or similar.